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The doctors want to give up.

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Old 05-14-2003, 02:11 PM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Brandon,Florida,USA
Posts: 5
Nadine82 HB User
Question The doctors want to give up.

My grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer(can't remember the name but it started in his kidney's and is now also in his bones) in febuary. After several mis-diagnosis he learned he is already in the last stage. The doctors agree that if they would have checked for it earlier his chances would have been a lot better. We don't want to sue or anything but now they want to give up on him and let him die. He is very aware of everything going on and he is very upset that they stopped his kemo treatments. I don't know what to do. I know the doctors only did this because they want him to be comfortable when he dies but I feel so horrible just sitting by his bedside not trying all we can to save him. He wants to keep fighting even though he hasn't much time left, should we make the doctors keep fighting even if it will only make him weaker?

[This message has been edited by Nadine82 (edited 05-14-2003).]

Thank you all for your support. Unfortunately my grandfather passed away Friday June 13, 2003. Please don't not reply to this post any longer.

[This message has been edited by Nadine82 (edited 06-27-2003).]

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Old 05-15-2003, 07:40 AM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 57
Romi HB User

Hi Nadine, So sorry to hear about your grandfather. It must have been a nasty shock to find the cancer has metastisised to the bone. It is never easy for doctors to 'give up' on patients, but if they feel there is nothing more to be done for him, other than palliative care, then their judgement is probably best. They have much experience in this field and can generally tell what is happening. Despite the misdiagnosis and the unfortunate matter of not finding out in time, once cancer has reached this stage, one has to think of quality of life rather than quantity. Your grandfather will be having enough pain and doesn't need the added discomfort and illness induced by Chemo which won't do a scrap of good at this stage. Try getting your local Hospice services involved. I can understand how angry your grandfather feels and how desperately you all want to help him fight the good fight. I recently bade farewell to my best friend of many years. She was only 47. Had cancer which spread to the bone and only found out about it when it was way too late. They told her she only had between 3 and 4 months to live. She elected to have chemo but stopped after the second one as it was worse than the cancer itself. I must add, that her oncologists, while giving her the ultimate choice, did not recommend that she has chemo. They asked her to consider the quality of her remaining days and said that chemo would make her very, very sick indeed. Not worth it really. Sometimes, obviously, chemo is a good thing. We all know of many who have responded well to the drug and are living way beyond their 5 year remission period, which constitutes a complete cure. For now, just spend lots of time with grampa. Make him comfortable, try to keep him happy and pain-free. When the doctors say it's time to give up, then take their advice. There is no point in fighting a battle you can't win. And cancer can be a really mean opponent. I pray for your peace and comfort and that your grandfather will come to terms with his illness and move into the next and eternal phase of life with no fear. God Bless you all.

Old 05-15-2003, 03:57 PM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Brandon,Florida,USA
Posts: 5
Nadine82 HB User

HIs cancer is called renal cancer. We do have hospice involved, without them I don't know what I would do. Thank you so much for your sweet words. My grandfather was the healthiest man I knew up until 6 months ago. He was a teacher, God's messenger, a veteran and the sweetest man in the world. It is so hard to give up when he isn't ready. It is just to fast. I love him so much and owe him so much but all I can do is watch him die.

Old 06-26-2003, 11:08 AM   #4
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: St. Louis, MO USA
Posts: 1
cbar HB User

Hi Nadine! I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather...I know how hard it is. My father's had liver cancer (it spread from his colon) for 2 1/2 years now. In May of 2002 my family was told that there were no more treatments that would help and that he had about 8 weeks to live. I had my wedding planned for for Oct. 2002 which, after hearing this news, was moved to July. To make a long story short, he didn't want to give up and decided to try an experimental treatment through a different hospital, which his doctor didn't seem especially thrilled about. Since starting this treatment last August, he's gained back all but 3 or 4 pounds of the weight he lost (which was a lot!), the tumors in his liver have shrunk about 30% and he hasn't felt NEARLY as sick as he did w/ the chemo (the experimental is an antibody). We were told he had 8 weeks, and that was over a year ago. You may want to find out if there are experimental/alternative treatments available for your grandfather. I disagree that if the doctor says there nothing they can do, then you should listen to him. Had we listened, my dad probably wouldn't be with us today.

[This message has been edited by cbar (edited 06-26-2003).]

Old 06-26-2003, 11:44 PM   #5
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: VIC
Posts: 63
sarez72 HB User

Hi Nadine

Sorry to hear what you and your family have been going through with your grandfather - I have just been through something similar with my grandmother who passed away just yesterday morning. If you refer to my reply under the topic titled, "To Sarez 72 re: laetrile " you'll get a quick rundown of what happened. It's all pretty devastating!

cbar - I would be VERY interested to hear more about the alternative therapy that your father undertook! Do you have any info on it? I've done a lot of research into B17 therapy and have a friend whose cancer has gone into remission using this alternative. I would be keen to hear your father's story as well! That's great that it has had such amazing results for him!!

Don't believe everything you know

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