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I hate my oncologist

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Old 09-22-2011, 03:56 AM   #1
Kaytaters's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: SD, Cali
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Kaytaters HB UserKaytaters HB User
Unhappy I hate my oncologist

I really don't like my oncologist. This is my third opinion. I don't want to find another one. It just seems so hopeless. I was diaginosed almost two years ago with Adenocarcinoma and Carcinoid Syndrome. Both are rare and even more rare to have both. And the doctors haven't given me much hope. I have a 40% chance of making it five years. Which means I might make it to 30 years old. I'm not going to say I'm not scared cause I am. But half the time at my doctor appointments I just sit and nod my head. I guess I just stopped listening. After being told there wasn't much anyone could do, I figured what was the point. My new doctor is so technical an impersonal that I hate even going to see him. And I always spend at least three hours there. What is the point? I see four people before I even see him and they all ask me the same questions! I'm getting really annoyed by it. Plus he never has anything new to say, just repeats himself everytime. But I feel like I shouldn't find a new doctor. This being my third one. And the military doesn't have the resources to treat me, which is why they sent me to the Moore's Cancer Center. It's supose to be the best. I just don't feel like I'm in "the best" hands.


Last edited by Kaytaters; 09-22-2011 at 05:29 AM.

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Old 09-22-2011, 02:09 PM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Mississippi, USA
Posts: 3
kwpastorwife HB User
Re: I hate my oncologist

you have to take control of your health and your healthcare.
I did not llike my oncologist at first, but after I made a huge effort to be personable and to make him see me as a person and not as a cancer, it made al the difference in the world. These doctors see death every day and they are fighting it...and often losing. I am relational by nature and so it really bothered me for my Rad Onc to talk "at" me rather than "to" me.
about my 3rd visit with him. he was going down his check list...and when he said "well, you seem to be maintaining your weight well, I replied "I have always been a gifted eater" and that totally caught him off gard. once his gaurd was down, he couldn't relate to me as just another patient. After that, he took time to explain things so that I understood.
Once I lost my voice, he gave me his e-mail address so that I could communicate with him about meds and such.
I made it my goal when this started for me (in 08) that I would be my doctor's favorite patient. Since then that has been my goal. I do what I can to be positive and encouraging to them and to ask questions and research on my own so that I am knowledgable about my cancer.
Take charge, be nice, and relate to your doc on a personal level so that you wonlt just be another cancer patient.
I have used the phrases...
"Please write that down for me so I can research it"
"I have no idea what you just said"
"I don't understand. Can you explain that a different way"
"You lost me when you said___"

Sorry you are having such a hard time.

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Kaytaters (09-23-2011)
Old 12-12-2011, 09:53 AM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Fernley, Nevada
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Kathleen7838 HB User
Re: I hate my oncologist

I agree with pastorwife. I was told my small cell lung cancer would kill me within 2-3 years. I even argued with my Oncologist on the treatments that he was prescribing. I didn't like it either. Then I became more proactive and started doing the research and found that my Oncologist was right. This sounds so mundane but it really is true, your attitude can make you or break you. Be kind to yourself and others. BELIEVE that you will get well. Instead of saying "why me?" Say why not me? I believe we create our own "health" fields and if we're still here, there's a reason.

I believe our attitudes and beliefs are the key to wether we survive or not. It's been 6.5 years for me. Cured? Well I pray it's so, but if it comes back, God and me, will just keep fighting. I hope these words help. My very best to you, and your providers. I also think that support within your cancer network would be a good step to take.

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adenocarcinoma, cancer

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