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  • help me help my mom

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    Old 06-24-2015, 04:26 PM   #1
    kimimain
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    Smile help me help my mom

    Hello my mom is 64 and was admitted to the hospital in April with sepsis while there she had a mini stroke and dyaphasia as a result ended up aspirating her food and developed pneumonia. She ended up coding as a result of the lack of oxygen and while her heart stopped she had a massive right brain ischemic stroke. The Dr said he has never seen such a bad one before and that she would never be able to talk move or breathe on her own. Ama I decided to wait it out and she came off the ventilator over a month and a half ago. She is speaking knows who I am but she ishardly sleeping at all. She's in an ltac care facility where she keeps getting pneumonia they have her on xanax for her anxiety but it doesn't seem to work she is constantly worrying about things that are of no revelance to her current life (like payroll from her secretary job 5 years ago) I keep bringing the sleeplessness up to the Dr but he isn't doing anything about it. She also wakes herself up by moving her right arm over and over. I don't know how to help her calm down enough to sleep.
    I'm amazed by her progress thus far but I don't want not sleeping to interfere with it. I don't know many people who can die and come back to any function let alone how she is now so I'm grateful but I've also been at the hospital 20 hours or more a day since April 17th so youre really helping us both
    Thanks
    Kim

     
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    Old 06-24-2015, 05:59 PM   #2
    ladybud
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    Re: help me help my mom

    Kim, welcome to the boards, and I am sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation with your Mom. The sleeplessness is certainly a problem, and a simple tweak of Xanax dose at night might help. You don't want her sedated excessively during daytime, but enough at night to help her sleep. Often, a double dose at night or a different med like a sleeping pill will help. As for you, 20 hrs a day "on duty" at the hospital is just too much, and you need to take care of yourself better to benefit her progress. Your being there in the evening may be stimulating her, and she may sleep better with 2-3 hour before bedtime of quiet time. Bless you for being such a concerned and caring daughter.

     
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    Old 06-25-2015, 12:48 AM   #3
    kimimain
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    Re: help me help my mom

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ladybud View Post
    Kim, welcome to the boards, and I am sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation with your Mom. The sleeplessness is certainly a problem, and a simple tweak of Xanax dose at night might help. You don't want her sedated excessively during daytime, but enough at night to help her sleep. Often, a double dose at night or a different med like a sleeping pill will help. As for you, 20 hrs a day "on duty" at the hospital is just too much, and you need to take care of yourself better to benefit her progress. Your being there in the evening may be stimulating her, and she may sleep better with 2-3 hour before bedtime of quiet time. Bless you for being such a concerned and caring daughter.
    Thank you for the reply I just don't trust this place at all. I come in and her head is too low per the requirements for peg tube and she's aspirated twice since being here. I don't want to overstimlate her for sure I came in tonight and she was passed out so I'm glad she got some sleep today so far. She keeps asking me your not leaving right I have a daughter of my own too so I'm trying to do double duty there too. I'll ask about the Xanax dose at night for sure tomorrow. I know sleep is important for her recovery and her sleep wake cycle is definitelymessed up especially when they wake u up every few hours to turn or check vitals or give meds. I'm just so scared to leave her alone because every time I do I come back to a new issue or problem so I wonder if she's stressing herself out when she's alone to just think

     
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    Old 07-01-2015, 10:20 AM   #4
    sunnyrise
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    Re: help me help my mom

    Hi Kim,

    So sorry about your Mom. It sounds to me like she is not getting the right care at the place she is at. Is it possible for you to find out if you can move her to a better facility where she would get better care? I'm talking about building up her immune system so she doesn't keep getting pneumonia, etc.

    Do you know of any other doctors that could give you advice?

    My Dad was brought to a hospital and they kept trying different medicines on him due to a bad cold. Well all these doctors didn't know my father had an infection in his heart so after 3 weeks he was moved to a different hospital where the doctors were more knowledgeable.

    I wish you and your Mom the best,
    Sunny

     
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    Old 04-11-2016, 05:04 PM   #5
    boyartthee
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    Re: help me help my mom

    i don't have answers but sympathy for you. i'm in the middle of something like this. they don't check the residuals on the peg. i saw my moms flooded with at least 460 cc when they refused to measure it any further. it ran from her mouth like a river. that was her first aspiration. my mother plugs up at least once a week, and they will miss it. they refuse my mother any therapy at all despite me refusing their persistent push for dnr. i'm at the 6th place now and not having any better luck. at least she still survives though.

     
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