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Keeping myself sane

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Old 02-12-2016, 03:31 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1
Mags123 HB User
Keeping myself sane

Can anyone tell me how to keep my self worth and sanity when looking after my husband with dementia at home. Main problem is his constant talking with some hallucinations and a baby like dependency. Loves constantly eating so I am ever cooking him food to keep him happy. I don't want him to go into a care home, but feel I am being worn down physically and mentally. He goes to day centre for one day, I go out 1 night per week and also have someone to sit for a few hrs 1 day week. He is not mobile except for standing and occasional steps. I feel constantly put on because his dependency is so great, but do value very occasional good times.What to do? I feel life is passing me by, but really wasn't happy when he was in respite care for several months.

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Old 02-18-2016, 08:08 AM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
Posts: 355
renko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB Userrenko HB User
Re: Keeping myself sane

Hi, I had a husband who had dementia for almost 10 years and it was difficult but at the same time he was a happy and spirited man. I was fortunate that I was able to get him on Medicaid and still go to work full-time. It was frustrating when he didn't get along with his caregivers during the day and he was always hungry too but it was manageable for me. I'm sorry you are home all day with him. Can you find a family member or friend to sit with him more than one time a week so you can get out and do something you love to do? My husband was much older than myself so working was my stability. He did hallucinate and make stories up but I wanted him to stay home too and not go to a nursing home. If that is necessary for you and you can visit him, then sometimes we have to make hard choices. The best to you.

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Old 02-18-2016, 06:24 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Whyalla South Australia Australia
Posts: 2
Milank HB User
Re: Keeping myself sane

I feel your pain, I cant stand to see whats happening to my mum and how my dads having to deal with it, many tears yesterday, so sad

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Old 03-24-2016, 11:36 AM   #4
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Caucasian or White
Posts: 5
nattydresser HB User
Re: Keeping myself sane

Going thru the same thing mama doesn't know who I am any more. I'm her only child. I have no one to help me. She talks constantly to dead people (her relatives who have passed on) and she carries on both sides of the conversation. Most of the time it is interesting to listen, but it does tend to get on my nerves, too. Not sure what the solution will be in our case.

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Old 04-02-2016, 09:02 AM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4
HazelRabbit HB User
Re: Keeping myself sane

We were worried about my mom living in a facility. But, the truth is, she is finally getting the mental stimulation and variation in day to day living - it's good for her and it's good for us. I didn't want my last memories of my mother to be of me feeling angry and resentful- Now, we are actually both happier.

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Old 06-15-2016, 06:32 AM   #6
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 24
Gigi45 HB User
Re: Keeping myself sane

My dad has had dementia for the past 8 years. He eats alot too. This past weekend he had a massive heart attack and still in the hospital till my mom finds an assistant living home for him that handles dementia patients. He recovered from the heart attack but now has changed and I wonder is he aware of anything? I just want to cry everyday because I want to go to a nice place because the hospital has to drug him so he doesn't get up and walk around. It is very hard to deal with but getting support and having your alone time is what keeps you sane. My mom took him to a day care during the day before his heart attack.

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