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  • Great Aunt never wants to be left alone

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    Old 11-01-2016, 11:25 AM   #1
    Join Date: Aug 2016
    Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
    Posts: 2
    bleukarma HB User
    Great Aunt never wants to be left alone

    Hello! I am a caregiver to my great aunt, who is like a mom to me since she raised me. She is 82 years old, but she is very independent. She has health problems but nothing that affects her everyday wellbeing. She is on her third pacemaker. She has to take a breathing treatment for COPD twice a day. And she has a esophagus disorder to where she can only eat soft foods. Other than that she is independent. She creates her own meals, she walks around the house fine, she takes care of her own bathroom and shower needs, she pays her own bills. And she wants to. She is fortunate to be in the health she is in at her age with her history. We all are.

    My husband and I are going to celebrate our two year wedding anniversary in December. In July we made a move to Cincinnati, Ohio for my husband’s job and we invited her to come with us so we could look after her in her later years. We found a home that has her own space. We put her in the master bedroom with its own bathroom on the first floor, so she wouldn’t have to go up and down steps. I work from home so I am upstairs during the day in case any thing happens. My husband works nights so if she has a doctors appointment during the day he can take her. It really is the ideal situation. The only problem is, she hates to be left alone.

    For example we are going to a family wedding this weekend, which is about 8 hours away. We are leaving Saturday morning and will be back mid-day Sunday. When I told her that we had the wedding this weekend she threw a temper tantrum like a toddler. She made me feel guilty for leaving her. She said since I am never home to look after he she is moving back to Florida. I’ve heard it before so I never know if/when she is serious about moving or not. Last weekend my husband and I spent a few hours at the local theme park and she kept texting me asking me to hurry home. She says she is scared in our house by herself.

    We have family that live nearby and they are happy to open their home to her for her to stay whenever we need to go out of town. About a month ago we had to travel out of state for my husbands grandfathers funeral and she stayed with them (after giving me the same temper tantrum for leaving). But she says it such a hassle since she has to pack up her breathing machine and soups etc.

    My husband and I do get the opportunity to do some traveling with his job so sometimes I think she has a point. Some days I’m ready to throw in the towel and say “you know what, you’re right, I am not fit for this.” But I think the situation she is in now is the best one for her. She has a great house, someone that is always around, and when we aren’t she has family to look after her. The alternative is her sitting in a house in Florida with my parents who honestly have worse health issues then she does. Ultimately I want to make her happy and if going back to Florida is it then I will help her do that. But right now I think she says shes going back to Florida as a guilt tactic to get me to stay home.

    Really, I don’t know if im asking for advice or venting. But any insight that anybody has (whether good or bad) is appreciated.

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