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Old 10-02-2008, 07:06 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: toney alabama usa
Posts: 1
sheila57 HB User
hello everyone

I am a newbie! I am taking care of a freind who is sick. He has alot of health problems.One of them is built up scar tissue across his abdoman after a gallbatter surgery. He is a MAN and sometimes he makes my job harder. Getting him dressed and in and out of the shower wears me out as well being painful for him. Is there a easier way of managing this job?
With all his illnesses he isnt able to work even simple things around the house. He now has Depression. He is 54 years old and feels useless. I stand back and let him do as much as he can, He's bullheaded and I know he feels bad enough about himself.I just dont know what to do I go to my room and pray.
He has 100% blocked arteries on one side of his neck and 75% hardened on the other.He isnt able to have surgey for them becouse of uncontroled blood pressure. He passes out when he over does it( doing his part here,as he calls it)
I have no regrets about taking care of him. He does not drive anymore. He's eating better.( he is also a diabetic). He takes his meds without any problem now. Its just mainly that stubburn "MAN THING". I would love any advice anyone could give me.

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Old 10-16-2008, 04:45 PM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Orwigsburg, PA, USA
Posts: 454
tfkeel HB User
Re: hello everyone

There is a device called a transfer chair which swivels over the bathtub rail. The user sits down on it and is mostly from a sitting position able to put himself into the tub. This might assist you with the showering.

Being a man, this is my advice.... let him do as much as he can for himself and even for others, if he can manage it. The quality of his life is very dependent upon how he views himself, and if he views himself as "unproductive" or "not useful", he sure won't be very happy. It is not something we men would want to trade off for length of fact, I don't doubt that his reluctance to take meds is rooted partially in his desire to die.

The thing that "feeds" men is RESPECT. It is hard for a man to feel respected when he cannot "perform" - like work, drive, protect, etc. His "bullheadedness" comes from his deepest need and his desire to get them met.

Encourage him to "do his part"... and even manage some words of praise for him if you can when he does his best at it.

I am not sure why his blood pressure is uncontrolled, but hopefully, if he is in line with taking his meds, perhaps his doctor can get that BP to a suitable level to permit the surgeries he needs. His quality of life would be much better if the blood supply to his brain were not so impeded, I'm sure.

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