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Lieve66 10-08-2008 07:40 PM

I'm am so tired. My situation is horrible. I'm alone, I mean completely alone -- trying to care for my mom who has dementia. I have no other family at all. Add to that the fact that when my mom passes away, I will most likely be homeless. There is no low income housing where I live. I'm 51 yrs old and have many health problems myself. I reach breaking points. I have to keep two steps ahead of my mom 24 hours a day. I can't put her in a home. Sometimes I think I will go before she does. Sometimes maybe even wish that. I'm just so tired. Thanks for listening.

snoopy220 10-08-2008 08:32 PM

Re: Exausted
Do you not have a job? Is her home paid for? Can't you apply for welfare and get section 8 housing?

Lieve66 10-08-2008 09:23 PM

Re: Exausted
I am on disability and have applied for housing, but the waiting list is 5+ years. It's a horrible situation. And seeing my mom go downhill, every day getting worse, I am overwhelmed with the demands, along with sadness for her, fear for myself, coping one second at a time is all I can do. Literally just trying to keep the two of us alive, struggling to make ends meet in all ways. I am numb. Amazing how the body just goes on, against all odds it seems.

tinkerbell46 10-13-2008 10:54 PM

Re: Exhausted

I noticed that your posting is a few days old. I hope that you are able to check the postings for answers. I noticed that you did not get much response and that is understandable as most caregivers are far too busy to be able to sit down to check e-mails. I live on the coast in Mississippi. I don't know how it is in your community but here you can start with your doctor and see if there is help some way there. I have found that once I started talking to people and asking questions, one person would send me to another person and so on until I could find some answers. I am not completely alone but yet I am. I am 62 years old and about a year before Katrina I took care of my mother-in-law for about 3 months and then we lost her but I stayed with her 12 to 14 hours a day (not like the 24-7 that you have) but then I came home to two teenage granddaughters that I am raising. We had Katrina (which we did not suffer greatly from) and then I took care of and lost my Aunt. I now share a home with my cousin who is bipolar and has medical problems, my 20 year old is married and has had 2 babies in 2 years, my 17 year old is bipolar and has tried to commit suicide several times. I am a caregiver and all that need care seem to flock to my door. I know how tired you are, I know how frustrated you are and I too would like to just give up and there were times when my two girls and I were homeless. I don't know for sure how I have made it, except that I have. You have to have hope (even when you don't even understand what hope is). Start asking questions, neighbors, physicians, social workers, strangers, anyone. Someone will be able to head you in the right direction. I love the quote that Mother Theresa said, "God will not put any more on you than you can stand, I just wish He didn't trust me so much." He sure trusts me a lot too. If there any anything I can do, let me know. Give me more information about where you have looked and what you have tried. There has to be a way for you to get some help. Remember, you have to take care of yourself too!!!!!

cook82 11-11-2008 04:59 AM

Re: Exhausted
Hello Live 66

I want you to know I feel for your situation.
We have a bit in common.

I am 53 and also alone. My mother's house burned down
to the ground in September. She lost everything.
Now she is living with me.
She is 82 and has dementia complicated by alcoholism.

I work a full time job and commute 3 hours a day.
I am terrorized when I come home at night for fear of
what I am going to find.

I also have health problems. Seeing my GP tomorrow as
I am worried about my blood pressure which is elevated
due to all the stress of this. She will not go to assisted

She accuses me of hiding her things. I am hardly ever
home to hide anything! I am trying to make sure she
pays her bills but she hides her mail so I can't find it!
I worry that her medical insurance will lapse for non-payment.

Anyway, it feels good to come here to vent if anything else.

I just pray for a miracle.

I hope a miracle comes your way too.

God Bless,

Happy1240 01-26-2009 08:03 PM

Re: Exhausted
Go to this website under alzheinmers and dementia. Those people are very knowlegeable and will answer all your questions. But it may not be what you want to hear. What I have learned from them is the problem only gets worse. Dementia patients need to be in a nursing home where they can be taken care of properly for their sakes and yours. But go there and read their posts. Hope this helps.


EWilshere 04-14-2009 09:58 PM

Re: Exhausted
Call your towns Council on Aging. They should be able to lead you you in the right direction for your Mom. If that does not help call your states Edlers Affairs and ask for help! If that does not work call your Mom's MD and tell him/her you need help!

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