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Grandmother in Nursing Home

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Old 11-12-2010, 10:04 PM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1
Caroline2010 HB User
Grandmother in Nursing Home

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping someone might be able to give me some insight or at least point me in the right direction.

My grandmother is 76 years old. She has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and Frontal Temporal Dementia. Until May of 09, my grandfather was her sole caregiver. He died suddenly and my grandmother had no option but to go into a nursing home. She has four children, none of them are willing or really capable of letting my grandmother live with them. My aunt provides 99 percent of my grandmother's additional needs and requests (does her laundry, visits her several times a week, and takes her out overnight occasionally). My mother and her two other siblings pretty much do nothing.

My concern is this: I do not believe my grandmother needs to be in an actual nursing home. Despite her Parkinson's and dementia, she is still mobile and full of life! She is still funny, enjoys getting out, loves to cook and clean (with assistance to prevent falls.

She has had several falls, and has hit her head. This is a major concern. She has also had memory loss, emotional outbursts, and other dementia related behavior. However, this fluctuates. In the last year, she has become depressed and lashed out at my mom and aunt. She has said the family doesn't care, stuck her in a home, etc. I believe that she should be in an Assisted Living facility. She does need help bathing and with medication. But she can still walk most of the time (she has been week at times and needed a wheel chair). And she needs some supervision to prevent falls. Otherwise, I think it is strange that she is in a nursing home.

She is on a very limited income. My grandfather had hard financial times and left her nothing financially. Their house was foreclosed on and she has no assets.

She is very unhappy there. She shares a tiny room with a woman who is completely immobile and unable to speak due to a stroke. There are CNA's in and out of her room all day and night. She has no privacy and I feel like her life is being robbed from her.

I don't know where to go from here. I live 3 hours away and am in graduate school. I have very little time and money to do anything at all. I have even debated putting everything on hold for her, but I know that's not healthy. I feel tremendous guilt for my grandma. She took care of her children and grandchildren for 50 years, and I just don't feel like this is the right situation for her.

Does anyone know if there are any other options for the elderly in the state of GA? My mom and her siblings are unlikely to contribute (a long story). Is she doomed to this nursing home for the rest of her life?

Also, she is in a very small town and there are no other facilities than the one she is currently in.

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Old 11-27-2010, 07:25 PM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 19,273
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Re: Grandmother in Nursing Home

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It appears there is no assisted living facility near her so I wonder who would deal with her laundry, etc that your aunt does if she was moved out of town. But a doctor would had to have admitted her to the nursing home - you can't just put someone there. And if all her children agree, there isn't much you can do legally if one of the or they all have her power of attorney. Also, you don't say where her income is from but if Medicare is paying it then AL is not an option. Wish I had more to offer but with the information you gave, this is all I can think of at this point.

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