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Worried my Dad is over medicating Mom

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Old 01-15-2011, 05:49 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: USA
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jay97 HB User
Worried my Dad is over medicating Mom

My Father takes care of my Mother. They’re both 75. She is in a wheelchair; she has balance problems from brain radiation, and broke her foot and ankle in 3 places five years ago. She also has a bit of dementia.

We think Dad is giving her too much medication and medication she doesn’t need or shouldn’t have.

Several years ago she got very bad, angry and hallucinating. She would yell at Dad a lot, and believed things were happening that weren’t, like my sister-in-law having an affair and bringing her supposed boyfriend around. This and others are recurring themes when she gets that way.

At the time she was on a great deal of meds, and the doctors took her off several and things got markedly better. But she still has some problems.

Anyway, in the past year, Dad has spent several blocks of time in the hospital, and Mom has been in a nursing home. She has been much clearer. They also sent her to a geriatric unit to evaluate her and get her meds straight. So her hallucinations / dementia has been much better, she’s been very coherent.

10 days ago Dad took Mom back home, and now she’s back to hallucinating and/or being in a stupor. We think that he gives her to meds to make her easier to deal with. One thing he gives her is hydrocodone, which she has an allergy to, it makes her itch; so then he gives her Benadryl for that. I think he also gives her Ativan (Lorazepam) all the time, instead of when she really needs it.

We’ve tried to get them to move to assisted living, but Dad won’t hear of it.

None of us has any legal standing, power of atty, guardianship, etc. Any advice on what we should do?

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Old 01-15-2011, 05:59 PM   #2
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Re: Worried my Dad is over medicating Mom

Hi, I would go to either social services or if you have a OMBUDSMAN for the aging in your area contact them. They could definitely point you in the right direction.

This could be really dangerous as you know and since you've posted it here then you must be scared. Ya just gotta take the first step. Ya love them. He probably can't make that decision on his own (hurts too much) so he needs yall to give him a little push in the right direction.

One suggestion, be sure to check out the facilities, don't get caught off guard and not know where to take them. Talk to friends who have been thru it (parents in nursing homes...btw, its Skilled Nursing Facility now, SNF) to find out which ones are the best. They don't have to know all these details if you don't want them too.

good luck!


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