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How do you live with the fear and the pain?

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Old 05-19-2013, 05:17 PM   #1
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1
TracieD HB User
How do you live with the fear and the pain?

My amazing, healthy 51 year old husband had a massive stroke on 12/23. It was a result of a car falling on him two weeks prior and an artery in his neck disecting. He lost the entire left side of his brain and we were told he would die in 72 hours from the swelling. But thanks to an amazing surgeon who removed the left side of his skull my husband survived. Long story short he is a miracle. He is learning to walk again, he has aphasia but is learning to talk all over again. I don't mind being his 24/7 caretaker, I don't mind the therapy, the doctors, not being able to work or the constant battle with insurance. But the emotional part of it is so tough. He has horrible headaches we are working to get under control and seeing him in pain almost incapacitates me at times. Every new headache or pain he suffers fills my soul with fear and breaks my heart. I know I have to get a grip as we have a long road ahead but I struggle with fear and his pain. For those of you who have been there any suggestions on how to keep my emotional sanity?

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Old 06-05-2013, 12:44 AM   #2
Sandy Caregiver
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: SW, OH, USA
Posts: 105
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Re: How do you live with the fear and the pain?

Hi Tracie, maybe it is something that will improve.... I say that because when my hubby first came home from rehab, he would wake up every single night between 1-4 in excrutiating back pain. I would get him up and he would be up 2-4 hours before he could go back to bed. That whole time he would be in horrific pain. That went on for months, and finally began to be less time that he needed to get up, then not at all. But, being it is in his head, I know that is more worrisome, because they are stroke survivors.

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are as far as the massive stroke and what my husband lost. I know in the beginning, he was in such rough shape that I watched him like a hawk. This is very taxing. I did learn that when he took a nap, I took one. This helped a lot, because you are not necessarily going to get sleep when you were counting on it.

My husband did not a stroke like many (1 clot) - he had a mess hit his brain all over. At first they thought afib, but nothing showed on the heart monitor he wore for a month. The cardiologist said the only other thing that could cause that much debri hitting the brain (with no obvious injury) was a plaque rupture, which works pretty much like the artery dissection - same end result of what happens after that tear in the artery wall.

Seniors or DISABLED people can get meals on wheels from senior citizens organizations - I do too, because I am sole caregiver for him. I mention this because it takes so much effort to struggle thru all we have to do, that this is one meal I could count on that I didn't have to shop for, nor clean up after, nor pay for and I just don't know if I could make it without this help.

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