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  • Self esteem issues regarding CP

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    Old 05-27-2008, 07:30 PM   #1
    CandP
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    Self esteem issues regarding CP

    Though I have very mild CP, all my life I felt very embarrassed of it. I walk fine, it's just my speech is a bit slow and sometimes high pitched (there are times I can be heard likea tape recording played on slow motion...You know? Not that bad, but something like that.) And my right hand, the last three fingers are not as flexable..iits as if all three open/close at once.

    I think I have developed low self esteem....i just feel like there are times when I am either "bypassed," second-guessed, or not believed. I mean this in the sense that because of my speech people judge my ability.

    I work with my family, and just the other day my brother pointed out that I have become quite defensive. He says that my first reaction to things is me getting defensive about myself when I come accross a conflict. He says I automatically act as if the other person thinks I'm 'incapable," even though , according to my bro, tha'ts almost never the case.

    He has m e thinking now, and I think he is right. I think all my life I am always trying to prove myself even when there is no need to do this. He syas that not everyone thinks about my problem and all they want is to be helped.

    My question is, how do I get to the point of just believing in myself and my ability? I think I do have low esteem and I always think I really need to prove myself. My problem is not really obvious...just enhanced when I'm nervous..i just cant relax. Any advice?

    Last edited by CandP; 05-27-2008 at 07:31 PM.

     
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    Old 06-12-2008, 02:54 PM   #2
    Zombie007
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    Re: Self esteem issues regarding CP

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by CandP View Post
    My question is, how do I get to the point of just believing in myself and my ability? I think I do have low esteem and I always think I really need to prove myself. My problem is not really obvious...just enhanced when I'm nervous..i just cant relax. Any advice?
    I think getting to that point just takes time. There's no real quick fix to feeling better about yourself. I'm sure a lot of people have felt the same way. Just try not to let it bother you so much, you are who you are. No one else can tell you any different.

    Hope that helps you some.

     
    Old 06-13-2008, 09:59 PM   #3
    Malwm01
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    Re: Self esteem issues regarding CP

    Seriously? You just have to get over it. (And I don't mean this in a rude obnoxious way.)

    You just have to wake up one morning and think, "Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I want it to be a good life."

    You are who you are (as Zombie007 says.) I say, "Screw the rest of the world and what they think of you. The only thing that matters is HOW YOU feel about and see yourself."

    You've got to be comfortable with you, you can't change that you have CP and whatever physical problems you have. The only thing you can change is how you deal with the physical problems that you have.

    For example: I've never been one for adaptive equipment, as a kid/teen I just made due but as an adult I see that there are easier ways of doing things when you change things like wearing shoes that don't tie, or using Sticky-Keys or applying for an apartment on ground level instead of renting an apartment with stairs. Doing all of these seemingly LITTLE things has made life easier for me and that makes me HAPPIER and that turns my self-esteem up and my anxiety down.

    Also, tell myself I don't have to do everything the way everyone else does it. It's about getting there, not how you got there. YOU have to KNOW that YOU'RE capable and once you know that and know how to get the job done you just do it and then there is no need to "prove" yourself to anyone because the job is done. And if the job isn't offered to you because someone thinks you can't do it it's THEIR loss not yours. Oh, well.

    And if someone is trying to do something for you and you don't want them to, politely tell them you're fine.

    I've tried self-help books I've tried counseling and neither really worked the only thing that gets me going is knowing that the time we have here on this earth is short and life is too precious to worry or wonder or waste time.

     
    Old 06-22-2008, 09:04 AM   #4
    CandP
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    Re: Self esteem issues regarding CP

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I have to admit that I have improved quite a bit. Even my speech has improved. The only thing about my speech is that I have grown to be a shallow breather, and I find it difficult to project my voice. I also find it hard to contain my nerves when I feel nervous, and also, I tend to sound "breathy," as I find it difficult to take breaths & let out my voice when I'm nervous. I know all about the breathing techniques, and I try to commit to those exercies, but it is difficult.

    Speaking is very important, and I do believe the sound of a person's voice depicts a certain characteristic that does enable one to suceed in a place of business. I'm assuming people with lisps or any other speech impediment have issues as well, with regards to communication. I just have to remember to stay calm - that alone is an exercise in itself, because we all know that we with CP have the inability to control our nerves, somewhat, and when we're nervous, those nerves are exacerbated 100 percent more than normal.

    Last edited by CandP; 06-22-2008 at 09:05 AM.

     
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