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need help under 08-27-2013 01:59 PM

Sex and cp
I have been dating my boyfriend for the last several months and we have become intimate. He has CP and everytime he... he says it hurts and it is because of that. Im wondering if there is something I can do to help him. I want him to enjoy our time together not regret it. Anything anyone can advice me with would help.

vermontcp 10-21-2013 07:15 PM

Re: Sex and cp
Sex should be a joyful experience for both of you. If your boyfriend is finding it painful, he should talk to his doctor. (Don't be embarrassed. Doctors have heard everything!) It might just be a matter of being inventive and finding ways of having sex that put less strain on whatever is hurting. Good luck!

noradninja 11-13-2013 10:31 PM

Re: Sex and cp
I can thoroughly relate to your pain as well as your BF's. I am a 33 year old male with spastic diplegia and until recently I very much enjoyed sex with my wife; however in the last few months I have begun to experience what seems to be ever increasing pain and debilitating loss of energy from even the simplest of tasks (like sitting in a chair for more than 10-15 mins). My wife and I had some intimate time about two weeks ago after nearly a month without due to my pain, and I want to say it was worth it, but it wasn't. I was literally confined to a bed for 3-4 days afterward because of the pain in my hips and lower back afterwards. I hate to say this, because, frankly, I am relatively young and I absolutely love sex, but if it is going to cause that sort of pain, I will have to learn to do without it.

Things you might consider specifically would be taking the more active role in your my case if I don't have to be the one 'performing' it can help. Short of that, I sadly dont have many suggestions other than to try to talk openly with your partner. Make sure you stress to him what you have told us here, that you want him to be able to enjoy it and not regret it and that if there is anything you can do to make it more comfortable/enjoyable for may be that he is worried you will reject him somehow if he brings it up, so it could be up to you to open the door so he will feel comfortable walking through it. Good luck.

enitharmon 11-22-2013 06:12 AM

Re: Sex and cp
Dan Savage has talked a bit about sex with CP/disabilities on a few occasions. You might try searching through the archives on his website. From what I recall, a good chunk of his advice is to talk openly and frankly about what causes pain, what doesn't, etc. Brainstorming could be fun, too, right? ;)
Best of luck.

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