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chemoqueen75 03-07-2017 04:11 PM

Has chemo affected your sense of identity?
Hi. I finished 6 cycles of chemo for Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I am waiting to find out if I need radiation, but it looks like the chemo worked and I am in remission.
One way that the chemo affected me was that it really confused my identity.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

intrepidlady 03-13-2018 02:44 PM

re: Has chemo affected your sense of identity?
Not sure this will be helpful or not. But... I just finished 6 rounds of chemo. Married. Past role: Everything and everyone else to think about & to take care of. I just know that I have been more sassy, outspoken, feel like I have to wear the pants sometime. I'm dealing with serious illness, so dear hubby, you need to take over some things. Learn what I have known all along or been taking care of. If xyz happens, will know how to take care of yourself.
I know men and women do not think alike at all. I have to keep that in mind all the time. Sometimes, I think: how can my husband not know....but then I think "Of course, he doesn't know. He's a guy." Communication.
But yeah, I think chemo does affect my identity as a woman. So much has been taken away. My platelets are low, and a few other counts are low, also. So, I am waiting for those to go back up to get my energy back.
For me, I look for hugs from anyone ! I do feel like I have had to take on both male & female roles/attributes to cope, get things done. I am sure my husband has had some role reversals too--(shopping, carryouts). We are 60 & 62--so we are noticing our senior years...
I am trying to give myself time right now. I know sometimes I want my hubby around and sometimes I am just better off sending him out the door to run an errand or do his thing. Gives me time to just be myself and let time and myself figure things out.
[I was raised with the notion in my head tlhat men have all the power & I can get into that stinkin' thinkin' at age 62. And get stuck there ruminating].

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