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Asking for assistance with teen daughter...

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Old 03-29-2012, 05:19 AM   #1
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Asking for assistance with teen daughter...

Ihave two special needs children from two different families adopted 2 years apart. the youngest is very special needs with diagnosis of bipolar, adhd, odd, ptsd, and mood disorder. He is also borderline mentally retarded. Sweetest kid in the world when he is beingon a down cycle. During tantrums he cusses, destroys property, hurts people and animals. With that, he goes to a special school, has behavior coaching, counseling, and other professionals around him and us 3-4 times a week.

My question is my older adopted kiddo, which is the middle child as well, is not as high needs but still has diagnosis of ptsd, adhd, and mood disorder. S
He is very smart and very drama. Sometimes I have to figure out how much of her behavior is 'need for attention' and how much is a real cry for help.

She will back talk, ignore instruction, lie, instigate, manipulate, then when called on her behaviors or issued a consequence she turns to sorrow, I am ugly, I am stupid, I am not part of the family, anything she thinks will get her attention and call my strings.

I have tried over the last few years giving her positive reinforcement, special me time as in manicures and pedicures, shopping, walks, movies. Just to have same behaviors. She wont talk to a counselor, says she doesnt need it.

Any suggestions on dealing with teenage melodrama without ignoring the negative that she puts on herself, while still being able to control the situation, her behaviors and give her constant love and support and guidance that she desperately needs. sometimes I just want to pull my hair out and give up, and then she will come home very happy and proud of herself. to see the sparkle in her eyes and a smile on her face is priceless I just wish we could see that more often. any suggestions are very welcome. thanks for letting me vent and for reading...

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Old 04-27-2012, 02:05 PM   #2
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Re: Asking for assistance with teen daughter...

You are an awesome person! To take these kiddo's, nurture them, love them, raise them as your takes a special person to do that.

I know your kids have professionals to help them, (my oldest son was special needs, so I'm aware of all the help for the kids), but have you considered seeing a therapist for you? Someone to help you learn coping tools, strategies for dealing with your daughters behaviors, ways to positively reinforce without putting too much attention on the negative.

My pdoc (psych) was very helpful during my sons teenage years when it seemed like every other day brought a new problem.


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adhd, ptsd, teen, teenage behaviors

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