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Nervous to Have Children

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Old 05-11-2006, 11:01 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2
Jrseygirl HB User
Nervous to Have Children

I am not close to having children, but the thought of doing it one day petrifies me. I'm wondering if anyone out there who suffers from chronic fatigue who has had children has any words of wisdom. I am never refreshed or well-rested. On top of having chronic fatigue, I also suffer from a bladder condition called interstitail cystitis, which adds insult to injury by causing me to have to get up to use the bathroom every 1-2 hours of the night without fail. I go all week at work by pushing myself (and that's with 10 hours of sleep) and then MUST catch up on the weekends by sleeping about 12 hours and napping in the afternoons to feel remotely decent and have some energy. I obviously will not be able to do this with small children. I am 35 years old and not married and am stressed out about having to possibly have kids on my own which just seems impossible feeling like this. If I do marry, I would obviously need to be with someone very understanding (which I plan to do anyway ), but I feel like I would be so cranky and run down all of the time. I just cannot imagine a child waking me up at 6am when I need more sleep than it does! I don't have to get up for work until 830AM and I find that incredibly difficult!

Any thoughts would be much appreciated as my potential days as a single mother are approaching and I am giving this A LOT of thought!



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Old 05-15-2006, 06:42 AM   #2
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1
Ruby67 HB User
Re: Nervous to Have Children

Hi Wendi, I have had chronic fatigue for 15 years and have a son. I worried that I would feel much worse but actually during pregnancy I felt wonderful and my doctor said many womens chronic fatigue symptoms improve during the pregnancy. My son is now 13 years old and although sometimes it's difficult as I'm a single parent I'd say its onlt been an improvement to my life overall.

Old 05-25-2006, 01:10 PM   #3
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Loveland, CO USA
Posts: 84
tootsiepopbreeb HB User
Re: Nervous to Have Children


I am a younger mother with three kids. I was diagnosed over ten years ago with CFS and EBV and I was terrified to have kids. At first it was very hard, but as each one grew a little and got a little older things got better. My kids are only five, three, and 5 months but the bigger ones know that mommy has to sleep and they are very forgiving when I am tired and just can't get up and play. Also, once children reach about one year old they too need plenty of sleep so you just have to learn to sleep when they do. I hope that if you really want children you do not let your fear of being tired detour you. Even with the 3:00AM feedings, diapers, and crying, they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Old 05-25-2006, 06:03 PM   #4
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2
Jrseygirl HB User
Re: Nervous to Have Children

Thank you so much for your post! I would never allow my fatigue to deter me from having kids; it just makes me terribly nervous knowing kids wake up at the crack of dawn and how I need my weekends to 'catch up' on sleep. There are no days off with kids and that scares me. I am not even married, but I know I will marry someone understanding. It's just hard because having kids is challenging enough when you can function on 6 hours of sleep!

Thanks again!

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