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    Old 02-02-2008, 12:02 PM   #16
    russelann2
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burnig pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Dearest Christy, I just joined this board. I am enjoying reading all these post as I like you am so alone...I do have a wonderful supportive husband that cooks each night. I tryed to take on too much responsibility around our home, as I had put a big guilt trip on myself and tryed so hard to do housework I just was unable to do with my condition.. I broke my neck in a car wreak in 1968.. It is amazing to me that this many years later all the negative side affects from this injury have crept into my life..I have Avascular Necrosis in both hips and the adjoining femors.. (ie this means that the bones in this area are dying) Then about 10 yrs ago I developed neropathy in both feet.. I have had to accept the fact that there is no cure, and that the pain and severity of it will increase..I too have had to acccept the fact that narcotics and the management of them in now a daily part of my life. I have read several of your posts and it really does sound like your have developed depression..I know you dont want to accept this. I totally understand this but I would definitely ask your doc to treat the depression with meds. There are some remarkably drugs available out there now to treat depression.. It just takes time and patience to find the right one. I too am really sad that my life has come to this, but I have had severe depression yrs ago in my life and know all the symptoms. and I just know I am not in one. I grieve over the lose of my body and it has taken time and patience to accept my plit. and my using the mental tools I learned in therapy I am able it overcome the risk of falling in a deep depression.. Thank the Lord I had excellent Psychriatric Therapys that taught me well.. How ever in your case dont wait and let the darkness of depression to take you over.. that you are getting out and walking each day, managing the best ways to physically take care of yourself and having your Mother to be one of your support system. Also that you have found someone to do the physical things you are unable to do ie driving etc. is a plus.. So you know in your mind that the next steps are to see your Ortho Doc and talk to him about other surgical options you may have availbe. You are managing your life better than you are giving yourself credit for. (isnt that the way of all of us?? at times we are our worlds worst critics. and it takes others drawing attention to what else we need to do and how well we really are doing. ) Follow your first instincts about talking to your ortho doc. Yes, I would call and see if they might have an earlier opening to see him. There is no reason that you should be suffering with this pain all the time..You may have to try several kinds of pain meds and management treatment until you find the right combo that works for you....I have reached that point.. and also I know that as my condition deteriates I may have to have my dosages adjusted and/or start on my different one..Everyone is different about how certain meds affect them..What may work for you may or maynot work for me..Once I was able to open my mind to these options and not judge myself harshly for having to take these narcotics has been a long journey as my family other than my dear husband, does not believe in taking any meds. not even a aspirin or tylenol.. I had to forgive them and then sadly remove their influences and physical presence from my life. I my pain and pain control starting improving once I made this sad decision....it makes me more isolated in life, but they had become detrimental to my health and treatment...So I have had to grieve over them almost like deaths in my family...It is so sad when others are so quick to judge and never consider that they havent walked a mile in shoes....So sweety you can see I have been on a long journey to do the things that help me cope with all this pain, and to treat myself fairly and lovingly with our judgement. sighs, I guess those old voices of family members passing judgement on me will pop up now and then and I just have to let them go.. Give them to the universe and love myself..You take care of yourself and if I can help in some way to give you some kind of support I will be here listening. Just talking about yourself like I have to you today is such good therapy!!!!Isnt it. God Bless YOu and all who suffer with pain.. Russel Ann

     
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    Old 02-02-2008, 06:42 PM   #17
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burnig pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Hi Girl!
    You have always been so kind to me and everyone here. I hope you find some relief soon, and Ill be praying and thinking about you. Hang in there, girl~Sorry I didnt post much, we just got blasted with over 3 ft of snow on top of 6 ft. Its horrid, and the pain level shoots over the top. Please know you arent alone, seriously...Hugs~
    xoxoxoxox,
    IZZY'SMOM

     
    Old 02-03-2008, 08:53 AM   #18
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    IZZY!!!!!!!!

    So glad to see you are still aroound!! Thanks so much for the encouragement.

    Ann thanks for sharing!!! There are great people on this board. I have meade many friend in here.

    Everyone iI finally Cracked!!!! On Friday I went to my 12 step meeting and then my ride brought me home and we visited for about an hour and I had the hugest pain flare OMG!!! I called the doc to complain and say what the HECK is going on in there.

    The end result of talking with him is that he is going to do mare testing to see what and why I am having all that pain from the C5-6 disk.

    As far as my saddness goess I am working hard to deal with it. IT JUST IS!!!!

    I have been out and walked 1/2 mile increments on a some days when the road around my condo has been dry because like Izzy I continue to have snow just not quite as much. I started to just get out there and do it because I love the outside. It feeds my spirit and my spirit was really sad.

    I dont know if that makes sense!

    I am on anti depression meds and have been for over a year and I do know they help but it is common of me to get into a slump about every few months especially if I am going through some uncertainty with my injuries.

    I did not realize this until a good friend that was around during the 3 years I was on workers comp had begun to notice this pattern in me. Thank God she could tell me in a loving and caring fashion. She actually told me about this a long time back I just remember her saying it to me recenlty.

    So I will call the doc on Monday to see what tests he has ordered. I think we will start with the MRI he said. I am so sick of them!! Then a possible diskogram...not looking forward to that one but I do not care what they need to do to get to the bottom of this they really need to find out.

    In the mean time I am continuing to talk to my sponsor every day because I am unable to make meetings as often as normal. I work the steps with a sponsee and I reach out which is so frigging hard somtimes.

    Also I believe that God puts people in our lives for certain reasons unknown to me and he has placed a family into my life right now that I am just blown away by.

    I have a friend from school named Barbara that has been helping me. She picks me up and takes me to and from school and she house cleans for me and takes me on all my errands. My mom pays for this even though Barbara does not want the money. Anyway she and her family now have come into my life.

    Her hubby has had 14 spinal surgeries, and their entire family understands how I am feeling.

    Anyway she calls me on Friday to see how my meeting went and I am in tears when she calls. She asks if I have eaten and I say no, I have no appetite. I tell her I am waiting for the doc to call. She says I will call you later.
    She tells her duaghter (14 yrs) that I was crying and in pain and her daugerter says she would like to bake me some cookies and she does. Her husband makes the family dinner and a few hours later they call me back and say have you eaten yet and did the doc call back.
    I say yes about the doc and no about the food and Barbara says we just dropped the 2 youngest at the movies and we are only 5 minutes from your house. We have our oldest daughter with us and some dinner and a movie to watch and we would like to keep you company but we understand if you decline.

    I was in complete shock! I thoought no one has ever done something so nice. Although I was feeling really bad still I took them up on their offer and we all had dinner and a movie and I was very touched and lifted in spirt that there are such KIND people who do things for no other reason than to be friendly and nice. They are church going and God believing folks and they have great moral and values which I really like about them, and their children.

    Now this is hard for an adict in recovery to understand becuse sometimes that OL'Street wise girl druggie comes out in me and says what the heck do these people want. But the truth is that there REALLY is people on the planet that are not out to get something from you and to help you in a time of need.

    I know tis is a long post, but if you have read it in its entirety then I hope that you have gotten a little something from it.

    Chrissy-----Pulling herself up with the boot srtaps!!!!!

     
    Old 02-03-2008, 09:27 AM   #19
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    i really do think you will be coming out of all this a much stronger and wiser person.everytime we take on things that cause the level of hell you have had to endure,it does change us and also our perspectives on alot of things just having had that experience that is the one huge thing i have found going thru all my and my sons hell over these past years.every 'bad' thing has also made me realize how important other things are or were in my life that i wouldn't have seen or ever 'got' in my head without having to go thru the crappy stuff first,you know what i mean?you just gain new perspectives from having to deal with things that you are forced to have to take on.hopefully with these new tests,they will be able to get to the source or generator of the burning hell you have been having to deal with.

    there were alot of things that before all my crap happened,i just took for granted,i don;t anymore.and i also appreciate all the people who have been there for me thru all of this ongoing crap that has just been thrown at me.everytime i have felt that i am finally getting back on track honest to god,something else just slams me back down again.this has been going on since my son became gravely ill with the liver failure?i have found the true kindness in people that i didn't even know before all this happened and i have learned to appreciate things like i never did before.and you DO find out just who your true friends are going thru all of this too.

    you just have to start looking at what positives you already have or have found BECAUSE of what you have been thru and are dealing with.this is the only thing that has kept me from completely losing it on many occasions.this is my 7th flippin surgery i have coming up along with an aneurysm that was thankfully coilable so i did not have to undergo a major craniotomy with brain damage.things DO happen for reasons hon,sometimes we can see why very soon and others it takes a while,but you DO end up gaining from having the experience,trust me.you have a certain insight and knowledge now that you did not have before or if things had gone really smoothly for you.who knows,you may run across someone who is in your current position at some point,how helpful do you think you will be able to be at that point for the other person,ya know what i mean?

    i know you have been thru alot chrissy and not just with this surgey hell.but you have gotten thru the other crap and were much stronger just for the experience,or i don;t think you would be doing as well as you are right now with this.it ALL matters,what we are forced to have to experience in life,it just does.beleive me.as long as you KNOW without a doubt that you have people in your corner who will just be there like you have found in these wonderful people who are now becomming true friends to you during this time,you CAN get thru anything.support,and knowing someone cares is just THAT crucial hon.hang in there chrissy,hopefully very soon you will know what your next step here is and it will finally lead you out of where you have been the past few weeks.at least your doc is actually trying to find answers for you,and believe me,that in itself,is alot.when you are feeling really overwhelmed,just do what makes it better or makes you happy,go outside just for a little while since you seem to be happier when you just get put of your confining space.then you come back in and start fresh.you just have to keep replenishing your emothional mental and physical energies.coping and ongoing pain takes alot out of a person.you just have to stay on top of this and not let it get the upper hand.basically,when it starts to kick your ***,you kick back.just hang onto all the positives in your life hon,even tho there may not feel like there is any at times,they are there,all you have to do is look for them.its just sometimes very hard to see those things when we are in a situation that can easily overwhelm us.hang in there chrissy,you will get thru this.Marcia
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    Old 02-03-2008, 11:12 AM   #20
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Hi chrissy - I think you should inquire about a pain pshychologist and pain management dr. I do not think you are depressed from how you write and in chatting with you online. I think you have deep sadness of the change in your life - that is a grief process. You probably also have fear about future physical condition. The two (depression and grief) are different according to my pain pshychologist. Although some people can have both, I think you are "grieving". Maybe you would benefit from seeing a pain pshychologist. You still have interest in the things you were pursing and enjoyed - that is a good sign that you may not be suffering depression. Anti-depressents are not going to take away the feelings of loss. You are going through grief issues that most chronic pain patients experience. A specialist can help you work through this process and also teach you many tools to use to help you. The first step is to acknowledge the stages you are in and then work on them using the mental techniques available. I think you are already acknowledging you feel sadness and loss - so you seem to recognize what is going on with you.

    I have gone through many cycles of what you are feeling. Even when I feel I finally moved past the feelings, something triggers it (like I can't do something I used to) and then it starts all over again. My brain is constantly going and there are so many things I would like to do - so it is hard to constantly face the things that I cannot do. That's why I sought help, and I can say it has been time and money well spent.

    Prayers for you.

     
    Old 02-03-2008, 12:10 PM   #21
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Oh Chrissy,
    I just wish I could reach thru the computer and give you a big warm hug. It really is the ONLY thing I feel that I can offer to you other than my prayers and you are still in those, trust me on that one.

    I am so, so very sorry that you are going thru all that you are right now, but I am so glad you took that kind family up on their offer of dinner and a movie. How special of them to look out for you like that, and if I were near you, I'd want to do the same!

    You just stay strong, keep your chin up girly and like Marcia said, you WILL come out of this ordeal a much stronger person than what you went in. Perhaps we don't know right this minute what reason we are led down the path that has been chosen, but trust that in time all will be revealed.

    God Bless Chrissy, and I'm thinking of ya wishing I could do more.
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    Old 02-03-2008, 04:24 PM   #22
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Neckpatient, Feelbad, and BGsigns,

    Thanks for your posts.

    You are all right!

    You know that family has doen a few different things like that. That was the latest thing and the one that most touched my heart.

    I have been in school with Barbara for 3-4 semesters and we had really started getting to know eachother last semester.

    Truly I am blessed to have them in my life. It is so touching that it is a whole family! It is not just one part meaning Barbara, her entire family has helped me in some small way that most may not think much of.

    Inside I do know that they way I look at life is forever changed. I have not only been through a lot over the past 3 1/2 years but because I abused street drugs for almost 18 years I have been through so much other junk that could have truly been unavoided had I just went down a different path.

    But like Marcia said, all my experiences good or bad have made me into the person that I am today.

    This life that I have today despite that I have all the pain and injury etc...this life, a life of sobriety is the biggest gift of all. I could not get through any of it good, bad indiferent without God. I understand that this is a touchy subject to some and I only speak for myself but God has always taken care of me.

    Sometimes I dont really understand and that I do not need to know the WHY'S of everything going on. IT JUST IS

    Neckpatient

    I honestly believe all that you said about the grief! I do suffer from depression but I go through these periods of time with a deep saddness and I have always wondered if it is just grief! I truly think that is what it is.

    I go for periods of time and I am fine and then it will just hit me like a ton of bricks. You probably know exactly what I am speaking of.

    When I began to read your post I started to cry because the fact that someone else could finally see and understand what I am feeling and what is going on in my heart and head wasreally huge.

    Funny though...sometimes my head will grieve the loss of things I have not even had yet. Here is an example. I feel a deep sadness when I think of what I would do with myself if I were unable to become a nurse because of my physical limitations.

    I dont even know if that will be the outcome of all this, but I also feel that it is a valid sense of loss because I have worked so hard in preperation to get get there.

    Here is the thing...what God has planned for me may not be for me tobecome a nurse. That is my dream. I believe that God has a plan for each and every one of us and sometimes what I think I should be doing is not really the right path for me. This may be what is going on with that area of my life. I do not know yet so I just keep moving in that direction and wait to see what will be revealed to me by God.

    I know that part of what I am working on today is matching calamity with serenity. It is a constant learning experience to and takes so much continuous practice to learn to become more calm in the midst of the storms of life. One of the toughest things that I work on and I think that I will be working on it right up until the day I pass.

    I am starting to feel spirt perk up a bit and I think that is great. I know that I dont and cant go through all this alone. I reach out on this board so much because you are all the same as me.

    We are all here together trying to make the best of where we are today.

    Marcia
    I have been chatting with you on this board for about 8 months I think now in various topic areas and I value your encouragement and insight always.

    I have you marked on the calendar for the 6th. What time is your surgery at? Will yours be an out patient like Sammy's?
    You know I am there with you girl...in spirit.

    Thanks everyone for your responses I could not do this with out all of you.

    Christine

     
    Old 02-04-2008, 05:54 AM   #23
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    you are sounding alot better today hon,and NP IS right on about the grieving process.i also went thru that and still do everytime there is something new i find out i just cannot do anymore.having togive up the FD was the biggest hurt of all.it was a job a truely loved and fully expected to get theu my 20 years and retire just like everyone else.but that ain;t gonna happen.i still 'feel' it from time to time but have learned to deal with t he loss and what i actually had the privledge of doing for almost 15 years.the thing is hon,even if you may not be able to really work totally hands on with direct patient contact like every other nurse in a hospital does,there are SOO many other areas where nurses are very much needed that you could still do if your ultimate dream cannot be realized,ya know?as an RN,you will always have many other very fullfilling options,trust me.

    my surgery is scheduled for wed at 3:00 but i have to be there with all my crap(the MRI,my paperwork,the sling and the ice compression unit thingy at noon(think i should just rent a U haul?).i have to make arrangements today to have my 'chair' delivered and to get fitted for my sling at the ortho bracing part of my orthos office.this should be fun.i have to go buy more button down type shirts since i normally live in T necks and sweatshirts in the winter(can you say -40 windchill?oooo).i am the bigest freeze baby you ever saw.if i can just get my tooth to settle down now i would be a very happy camper.it is still very hypersensitive to cold,but otherwise the majority of the horrid pain is gone.this was just my reaction to having a drill and fill done wed that was too close to a nerve that set off a nightmare in places in my jaw that were not even worked on.my whole body,including my face just has way too much overall nerve and SNS type damage,nothing is normal anymore for me.very very glad i am staying overnight post op.we just never know what is going to be there once that block wears off.hopefully that dilaudid PCA will also keep the tooth down to a dull roar too.its always something ya know?

    i do hope things get better soon for ya chrissy,i do think you have more than suffered enough.just try and stay on the positive side.not always easy but the more you do this the better you will feel.you ALWAYS have options.hang in there hon,marcia
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    Old 02-04-2008, 07:45 AM   #24
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Chrissy, I am so sorry that I missed this thread for the first few days, I swear I am not with it. First I would think after the surgery you had & some tough days after you would feel this way, you like the rest of us want it all to go away. Especially after under going that surgery. All of this can be overwhelming, playing that pain game, all the mental & physical things you have to go through. I know I was really tired of the meds yesturday, tired of being tired & still in pain, but we will get through this. Focus on recovering from this surgery first, & if indeed you are going to need another well then cross that bridge when it is time.
    Marcia is right, nurses are needed in so many area's I am positive there will be the perfect area of nurseing for you. It is frustrating though I know, you just don't know what is the best thing to do. We tend to think to far ahead & get overwhelmed. One day at a time my friend, & one battle at a time. You still have hope & that is something to hang on to. You are never alone, ever. So when you get to feeling down take a deep breath & remind yourself of that. We just can't break away from being turtles you & I. We want to hurry up here & we have to be patient, trust me I am having a hard time with that right now to. We will get through this hand in hand (please hold the right hand though, the left one really hurts right now. Sammy

     
    Old 02-04-2008, 03:35 PM   #25
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Thanks Sammy,

    Thats cool I will hold the right hand but we will look really funny because all my problems are left sided as well and my left hand is having some issues today...LOL

    I went to see the diabilities counselor at school today so that I could get a permanent chair in the class room that it more comfortable. I am currently barrowing one from the near-by tutoring office that would like for me to bring it back when I am doen and I forget occasionally.

    Anyway it brought up a bunch of stuff for me and I am all emotional at the moment and trying to work through it and not get to far off the planet.

    Back in May of 2007 I started the tapering process off all the meds I was on from the workers comp arm injury and I ended up droping my online course for the summer because I was sick from the taper I got behind.

    Anyway was trying to get my money back for the class and I had to have documentation of why I was dropping the class from my doc.

    Anhow long story short the disabliities counselor was on the comittee to approve me getting the money back and remembered why.

    So being that I am honest and all I explained agin what had happened back then and why I am seeking help at this time. One question they asked when I was trying to get the money back was how can you say that this will not happen again? Meaning the taper and the sickness etc. I replied saying I was getting off W/C and no longer on any meds and not undergoing treatment etc.

    I felt a bit judged but I am sure it is just me. Always when people find out that I am taking pain meds and I have past addiction issues I have the feeling that htye automatically judge me thinking I am abusing my pain meds. They have requested my medical records and I will get that paper all filled out and do the footwork.

    That was one thing that I was upset about...remembering all I had to go through with the arm and then discussing the current situation just got me to that sad, grieving place again. I even told her about it some.

    So I am sad again today. My pain got really elevated while in her office.

    So I just got off the phone and the NS has ordered another MRI but this time it will be done with and with out contrast. I have not had an MRI on my c-spine with the contrast only with out. I also asked about the other things he mentioned the pain psychiatrist and or physiatrist and the gal at his office said he had not ordered that yet.

    For the time being I am just resting and then a little prep for a small test tomorrow I am having in school.

    Thanks so much everyone for your support.

    Chrissy

     
    Old 02-04-2008, 04:39 PM   #26
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Chrissy, I am sorry to hear your having to go through all that. That is a tough one. No one could expect you to not need meds after all you have been through. The most important thing is you learned from an experiance & you trust yourself. People go through things in life, everyone, perhaps not the same things but no one is perfect, no one. Boy it seems like along road to recovery & we have no choice but to walk it. At least by attending school you are going on with your life, not letting all this stop you, & you deserve to be commended for that. Heck right now I can't even think about returning back to work, yet I am already feeling the walls close in. I have a feeling I am going to have to deal with my own moodiness alot in the next several weeks.
    Just hang in there I am glad you are having the additional MRI done, have hope & faith my friend. I know it can be hard. I have experianced some darn painful days since sugery & I have to watch I don't start to think negative, & I hate that d*** chair. yep, I do. Hang in there, Sammy

     
    Old 02-04-2008, 05:20 PM   #27
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Chrissy,
    It is truly amazing what you are doing now and only being out of surgery for a short period of time. You are truly an inspiration. I know what you mean when you need to tell doctors, dentists, or whoever about your addiction issues and the fact that you are on pain medication. A lot of people do not understand how this is possible and it is true that some people judge becauase they do not understand. I always hate having to put it out there as well. When I had my root canal the novacaine with the epinepherine in it set off my addiction. I broke down cyring in the car afterwards because it felt like I had relapsed. Fortunately, I am able to take my pain meds responsibly and as prescribed especially with living by myself and I am completely in control of them. You know that you can't change how someone is going to think, act, behave, or what they are going to say. But only in what your attitude and thinking is. I know that you are taking your meds responsibly so I am in your corner and understand and I also understand just how mean and cruel and uncompassionate people can be that don't understand addiction. I am pulling for you and you are definitely helping me in the process. Don't ya just hate that word. Ha ha.

    Brian

     
    Old 02-04-2008, 09:21 PM   #28
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Thanks guys and gals,

    bpain welcome here.

    So many people out there do the wrong thing with their meds and yes it does mess it up for others that are trying to do the right thing.

    Automatically red flags go up when you get honest with your docs about your addiction issues. I have had the same GP for about 8 yrs, and only one time has he ever said anything that stuck me as a judgement but it could just been the way I heard it. To be honest I cant even remember what that is.

    I worked with a PM doc for a year when on w/c so when they decided to send me back after the car wreck I went to him because he knows me and knows I dont abuse my meds and he know what works for me.

    I will be sad to be refered back because I can not really afford the gas anymore to go and see that doc so if that happens I will have to make a choice. For now all the meds are still coming from my surgeon and he has only been my doctor since September so he does not really know about my responsibility,

    They can find out what they want if they want to.

    Sammy thanks very much for the support and I am sorry to hear about the chair. Wow I can not even imagine.
    I have been having very spikey pain today. Up down up down.

    Who knows whats really going on in there.

    I do hope that they figure things out soon. I know he mentioned the that a possible diskogram is in the works after the MRI if needed. Not looking forward to that because I know they are painful.
    What else is new right...lol another painful experience to add to the never ending list...or so it seems.

    I know in my heart there is and end to the maddness at some point. I know that God is taking care of me no matter what happens.

    Chrissy

     
    Old 02-04-2008, 09:28 PM   #29
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Chrissy...I'm sorry to hear you're still hurting, but I am grateful that you have good pain management. Keepin' on prayin'...

    Last edited by painaway; 02-04-2008 at 09:31 PM.

     
    Old 02-05-2008, 12:39 AM   #30
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    Re: Feeling very sad & emotional, the burning pain is really wearing on me! Help!!

    Chrissy:

    I think I've mentioned I teach college. I would hope that the people in the Special Populations Division (that's what we call it anyway) would not hold any grudges and judge you on any previous services you may have sought out. The folks at my institution are highly trained in their field and are very special people. The reason they have to have the documentation from your doctors is so that they can justify outlining a plan for your services, and to make sure that they are meeting ALL of your needs. I wouldn't worry too much about this. IF they deny you any services you deserve, you have a RIGHT to go above their head and complain based on the Americans with Disabilities Act. So you have some comfort in knowing that if you DO get turned down, you have an avenue for an appeal.

    I know its hard sometimes, and I think today is one of those days, but truely these folks are there for you, and I would hope and pray that your College has Special people in this area who are there to do the job they are supposed to do. I'm praying for you right now, knowing that you are going through some especially hard times. We're off right now (today and tomorrow) for Mardi Gras.

    Hugs to ya Chrissy!
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