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    Old 02-11-2008, 10:09 AM   #1
    skych
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    Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Hello all,

    I thought about putting this in the spianl cor disorders area but decided that it may be better here because most of you all know me better in the pain area.

    For those of you who do not know my history I will tell my story...please hang in there and read the entire thing if you can....

    For the last 3 1/2 years I have been dealing with many health issues and surgeries. Seven surgeries thus far.

    In may of 2004 I had a hysterscopy laproscopy and right after that I broke up with a man I was with for 7 years.

    I had also been sober for almost 4 and relapsed in July of 2004 for about 60 days.

    I have now been sober for 3 years and 5 months.

    A few days after returning to work after a drug and alcohol treatment center, I re-injured my arm at work which led to 4 surgeries on my left arm. This was in September of 2004.

    Jan 2005 hospitalized for 4 days because of my colon.

    Feb 2005 first wrist surgery

    June 2005 second wrist surgery that in august we found out failed

    December 2005 I had a Hysterectomy at the same time I broke off a year long relationship with a man that I met in 12 step groups

    July 2006 3rd wrist surgery to fix failed surgery.

    September 2006 Put into pain management

    March 2007 4th arm surgery on elbow problem caused form all the times my arm was placed in a long arm cast

    All the while I am still clean and sober. My drug of choice was methamphetamines. Always take meds as prescribed.

    All the while dealing with all the BS of workers comp.

    May of 2007 no longer need pain medication so go through a terrible detox from the meds even though I took them as prescribed my body really had a hard time tappering off all the meds.

    So now I am really excited because I am not taking any meds anymore.

    My arm is really come a long way and is soooo much better.

    It is now July and I am awaiting my disability rating from work comp so I can get on with life.

    July 10th 2007 Car accident, that puts me back into pain management by September 2007.

    I eventually got off the workers comp in Aug 2007, but I essentially just traded one injury for another.

    I have since undergone all conservative methods of treatment for my neck problem and even had one cervical surgery.

    Jan 2008 cervical Posterior Laminotomy and Foraminotomy

    Well now you guys are probably saying get to the darn point.

    When I was injured on the job I decided to go to school and persue my dream to become a nurse. So I have worked very hard to do that and I would have been ready to apply to the nursing programnext month if I did not have these unresolved neck issues.

    I am currently still in soooo much pain. The Jan surgery helped some but I still am experiencing enrelenting pain from the unaddressed issues in my neck. I am taking pain meds but I have a high tolerance to them I think because I was on them for my arm for so long, and because I burned out all those receptors because I abused the street drugs. SOOO I also have a low pain threshold or low pain tolerance. On a daily basis I walk around with a 7 with spikes unto the 9-10 range where I willa actually throw up from it or become nausiated.

    The accident was not my fault so I do have an attorney and all that jazz.

    But I may be looking at more surgery on my neck and a longer recovery that just puts my life on hold even longer.

    I am so scared right now. I have really crappy health insurance that only gives me a prescription discount card. I am spending almost $400 a month for ONE pain med prescription. Plus all the regular meds i need like my hormone Premarin is $50 a month and others as well. My money from the settlement from the workers comp is running out. That was supposed to be my money to support myself through nursing school.
    I am sad because I can not drive and have not driven since my Jan 8th surgery. It is hard for me to sit through 12 step meeting because sitting is very very painful unless I can recline in a soft chair or on a couch. I do go but not as often as I would like. I can not walk for exercise anymore so I went from walking 14-20 miles a week in July of 2007 to almost none at this time.
    My social activities are almost nil unless you want to count having someone drive me to the store.

    I am not married and have no children and my closest family members are my Mom and Dad 3 hours away. My Mom comes when she can.

    My 12 step sponsor has 32 years clean and sober and I dont know what I would do without her. She helps to keep me grounded. I also sponsor a young woman as well.

    School is greuling on me. Only one class 2 days a week but on Tuesday after the lecture I have a Lab that requires me to stand and to look through microscopes. Very painful.

    I am so sick of pain and medications and surgeries and uncertainties.

    Today I am very sad! I am crying!!1 My money is dissappearing and I have no money coming in. I went to school to prepare myself to go back to work after the arm and workers comp were over. The injuries overlapped eachother for a month and so I never had a chance to go back to work.

    I just want to get to the bottom of the neck problems and have thenm treated so I can get to a point where I am able to work. I am 38 years old and because I spent so many years screwing off my life on drugs I have nothing put away to retire on.

    Darn it I just want to get back to my life. I am so frigging worn out. I find myself grieving the loss of my independence. The possible loss of becoming a nurse. Loss of my social life because of the pain it causes me to be out.

    What do you all do when you feel like this????

    I wont see my Neuro untill February 22. I just had another MRI last week and it still says the same thing except that the neural foramina are not encroached at C 3-4 4-5 anymore, but I still have 3 herniated disks at C 3-4, C 4-5, and C 5-6.

    The neurologist told me right from the start that the surgery I was having was not to address all my issues. He said I needed a fusion and he really did not like to do them on people my age.

    Then in the first post op appointment he said something about an ADR (artifical disk replacement.) I am scared of those surgeries although I think that one or the other may be in the near future for me. I know that they are challenging to recover from but I know I can do it if that is what is in God's plan. It is the getting there if that is what is needed.

    I just do not know anymore. I wont give up!! I just get tired and worn out.

    All the bills and treatments and meds and appointment that seem to go no where and the waiting and most of all THE PAIN. I am so sick of it all.

    I already take anti-depressants. The Cymbalta was so expensive that I had to get it from the manufacturer because I could not afford it when the school changed to a different insurance in Aug. I have been on it for a year and now I will recieve it for a year for free.

    Thats another thing if I physically can not work or if the doc says no more school untill I am better I will have NO HEALTH insurance which scares the **** out of me. I get my health insurance from the college I attend but it is not as good as the insurance that they previously had.

    I believe in God and I know he will carry me through but I need to also reach out and tell people I am really having a hard time coping.

    Please some gentle words of encouragement. I am sooo grieving the many losses that are becoming more evidnet in the near future and the ones that are already here.

    Please Help....
    Chrissy

     
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    Old 02-11-2008, 06:51 PM   #2
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Chrissy,
    I don't know if you saw the other post that I responded to but I addressed alot of your questions there. I don't understand why you are not able to get your medical costs and prescriptions reimbersed from the insurance company from the car accident. They should be paying for all of this and not you. Unless I am completely missing something. I will pray for you.

    Brian

     
    Old 02-11-2008, 07:14 PM   #3
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Brian,

    I will be meeting with the attorney on Wed. As i understand it I pay for some things out of my pocket and then in the ned when it is all setteled I should be reimbursed.
    Who knows anymore. I mean I am just at my witts end. I am now looking into SSI because I do not see how I can possibly work at this time. I have not been able to work since it happened. Workers comp ended right after my car accident and once again I was left in a position where work was out of the question.
    I was basically expecting to be done with workers comp and go right to work. I took classes so that I could get a job in a doctors office. There is no way I could even sit and answer a telephone and it has been that way since July 10th of '07. My heart just breaks when I hear people complain about there jobs. I only wish I could get up and go to work every day.

    Every time I start thinking about having to wade through the red tape off all these things I just want to crawl in a hole and then crawl out with everything all better.

    Brian I am just wanting things to move forward and I feel like I am a sitting duck. There is not a whole lot that I can do until I see the doctor on the 22nd and the attorney on Wed.

    I just think about it all and I want to cry. I honestly dont know how much more I can stand.

    Today was not good when I got up this morning at 4 am. I was stir crazy so I asked a friend to get me out of the house for an hour. I swear all I did was ride in her car to a store that we were in for 20 minutes. Then we picked her daughter up at a violin lesson and she took me home. By the time I got home my pain had reached the 10 mark and I have been laying down ever since. With the exception of needing to make something to eat.

    Dont know what is in store for me!!

    Scared and need a plan of action frommy doctor.

    My Mom will be here tomorrow so she can be at the attorney's meeting with me and I think she may come back when I see the neuro on the 22nd.

    Just tired and worn out!!!

    Chrissy

    Last edited by skych; 02-11-2008 at 07:16 PM.

     
    Old 02-11-2008, 07:26 PM   #4
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Chrissy,

    I remember when I had my bad car accident that I would send the insurance company's attorney my med expenses for the last couple of weeks and they would cut me a check. It did not mean the case was settled just that I did not have to wait until the case was completely settled to get any money. You should definitely ask about this and also about getting some kind of living expense benefit since you can not work. I don't really know all about the legal aspect just telling you my experience. I remember they did pay me for the amount of time that I could not work.

    You need to get your a** on the phone and tell your doctor your pain is like 8-10 and tell him you need something else for pain control. If it was him he would not want to endure the pain for as long as you have. The only way that he is going to know how much you are suffering is if you get on the phone and let them know. Maybe go on Methadone short term since it is a good pain med and cheap. Just giving you some options. I hate to see you suffering. I wish that I could come over and give you a big hug. I know how depressing it can get with living by yourself, being in pain, having ongoing health problems. Please keep us posted on what goes on. I'm sorry that I left you hanging for a couple of days. Didn't mean to scare you

    Brian

     
    Old 02-11-2008, 08:36 PM   #5
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Girl, I hate to see you feeling this way, but I am glad you reached out here. You are such a wonderful, strong, smart, compassionate person, and I just know the Good Lord has SO many amazing things in store for you!!!! Just keep putting your trust and faith in Him. In Jeremiah 29:11 He says, "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Gal, hang on to that! You are going to go to nursing school, and you are going to become the best nurse ever! Things will get better. Your pain can be managed in a way that will allow you to live comfortably and productively. You just HAVE to speak up...tell your dr. you are hurting. You shouldn't be living with 9-10 pain daily. That's unacceptable, in my opinion. I think you worry about your past, and therefore, you don't feel comfortable asking for an increase, or a med change to something stronger. The past is what it is...it's over with and gone. You can't change it, but you can be proud of yourself for all you've accomplished. You are now a mentor, yourself, for someone who looks up to you, I'm sure. Look how far you've come!!! You need to get it in your pretty little noggin that you DESERVE pain relief and you DESERVE proper treatment. Don't worry about tomorrow...or next week...or next year. Just keep your mind on today...and on all you have done to help others...and all you've done to get where you are this day.

    I know that pain can absolutely ruin a good day, and it can be an all-encompassing force in your life. You really need to get in touch with your pain doc...like asap. Your pain levels are too high, and you deserve better. I'm praying for you, girl...it's going to get better, I promise.

     
    Old 02-12-2008, 05:39 AM   #6
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Good Morning!

    You guys are the best!!!

    Thanks so much for the encouragment and the compliments.

    I have been awake since 4 am again. I was sitting here thinking that after I see the attorney tomorrow I am going to ask for a referral to a Pain Managment doctor. I will be unable to return to the one I previously went to because I can not afford to drive the 50 mile round trip to his office. That sucks since he knows all about me.

    I am not sure about the methadone thing. I mean I did not tolerate that drug very well at all. But there has got to be something else out there that may help.

    When I see my Neuro S. I am pretty much going to put my foot down. If my Mom is in town she will be going to that appointment and my friend Barbara who helps me and goes to school with me is going to go as well. The doctor actually asked Barbara questions about what she thought about my issues whic I really liked because then he was hearing it from someone who sees me struggle everyday.

    This is not right. You all are right on the money!!! I am not willing to live in this fashion and we...the doc and I ...need to come up with some kinda plan.

    Brian, I will be at the attorneys office tomorrow and the reimbersment for soe of this stuff will be on the list for discussion. I am glad that my Mom will be there because I do not always understand or hear things correctly.

    You know....in a way I could give a rats a** about the money I just want my health restored to a place that I have less pain and can go back to work in a decent job to repare myself for old age. If I dont have my health then how can all the rest fall into place.

    My health and my sobriety are like number ones on the list of priorities.

    Of course this is my long day at school and I already woke up with a very high pain level. Burning in the lower scapular region as well as that stupid hot poker and neck pain. That lower scapular area pain had gone away right after surgery so I can not understand why it has returned. But, it was one of the things that was never supposed to be helped with that surgery anyway.

    SOOO.....I am laying on the couch with the heating pad on as usual and looking over the material on my weekly quiz.

    I will for sure post after going to the attorney tomorrow. I will probly be back on later tonight so everyone have a good day and thanks so much for being here for me.

    Chrissy

     
    Old 02-12-2008, 08:48 AM   #7
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    allot to go through, won't say any platitudes they mean nada when you are in pain and scared. However i will give you one piece of information since brian stated the other part well.
    HEB has a drug program of over 500 drugs on it for 5 dollars. Walmart and Kroger and target's plan have too few of meds i am on.
    I got the list of available drugs and brought them to my various docs. Except for the pain patch now all my meds cost 5 dollars each, granted had to change things out that were on the program but i went from 450 a month scripts to under 100 huge difference.
    Also you might try contacting united way in your area see what programs might fit you and i highly recomend therapy, while talking doesn't change anything it does help put things into perspective

     
    Old 02-12-2008, 02:07 PM   #8
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Zoey,
    I think that H-E-B program is only offered in TEXAS and no other state but I do know there are other grocery stores in different states that offer similar programs. Good advice though. I don't know if you have looked thorough the thread at the top titled "DO YOU NEED HELP IN BUYING YOUR MEDS" but there are quite a few sites with very valuable information and help. I am sure that there is ALOT of assistance that you qualify for, you just have to look and do the research (do the footwork)

    Brian

    Last edited by brianpain33; 02-12-2008 at 02:19 PM.

     
    Old 02-12-2008, 04:21 PM   #9
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Hi Chrissy - I too am very sympathetic to your plight and wish there was something that could be done to expedite a resolution. One thing I did want to mention: I know you said something about considering filing for disability with the Social Security Administration. I think that is an excellent idea and that you should initiate a claim immediately!! I know that the thoughts of going through more horrible red tape isn't what you want, but you should just bite the bullet and get the paperwork started. It can sometimes take years for you to get to a final hearing on your case, so why not get the ball rolling. You may end up having to pursue that course of action in the end, and if you file now it will make the waiting all that less painful. I honestly do not know how you and others who have crappy insurance and salaries that don't cover the basic prescriptions survive in this world!! If I could share all of my wonderful insurance coverage and prescription plans with you I would do it in a heartbeat. Just know that I'm also thinking about you and keep venting on the board. All teh best - KathyMac

     
    Old 02-12-2008, 09:11 PM   #10
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Hi all....

    OH MY GOD...

    WORST PAIN FLARE EVER!!!!

    Oh my God you guys. I went to class as usual and then to the lab. I had already woke up this morning in bad pain but managed to get it down for a while. When I woke up it was at about a 8-9 and I managed to get that down to a 7 with Ice heat meds and laying down doing nothing at intervals when I would feel it start to escalate. I took meds at about 12:30 PM a bit earlier than usual because I had woken up so early this mornign I took the first dose earlier.

    Anyway when I took the meds before school I also laid down for 1 1/2 hours with ice and then heat to prepare for the day.

    I got up one time and left during a 1 hour 15 min lecture. The had a break for 15 min between lecture and lab. We have a 30-40 min lect aat the begingin of lab after a 20 min test. After the test I got up and left during the short lecture. The I had to leave again during the lab part.

    I was in soooo much pain. I was nausiated and had tears in my eyes. I could not even read and had to have one of my lab partners tell me the directions.

    It was sooo bad that I ended up leaving about 30 minutes early. My Mom came to get me and when I got into her car I caved.

    I was in so much pain we considered going to the ER. I was just completley floored. I just wanted to go get in the shower and see if I could get it down some form the 10+.

    I think my mother was in shock. She hears me complain and all that but she has not seen me like that ever. Maybe once after the surgery when the CNA left me in the bathroom and I had no ability to push the pump because it needed resetting and the CNA was not answering my call. She actually has been fired I was told because my NS was ****** for what she did.

    Anyway I have managed to get the pain back down to an 8 but let me tell you this.

    I am so f#@(*&g DONE with this. My doctor is going to get a phone call tomorrow letting him know what happened.

    My MOm is going to the attorney with me so I am sure she will say her piece there too.

    The pain was so bad I was frozen! Cripled from it. I got in the shower when I came in the door. I took some medication and then laid with the ice wrap then some heat. It has now been 2 hours and I am just feeling like it has gone down some.

    This is awful. I want answers and treatment. You know I had a good cry on the way home from school from the pain. I actually was nausiated while in the classrom all the way till I got home. I even retched from the pain.

    My friend Barbara who helps me and is my classmate was in shock as well. She has not seen me that bad either. Even the teacher said I looked white. That is right when I told her I was leaving.

    I really do not want to take Methadone again. There has got to be something out there that is longer acting that will help me. I am sure that I have a tolerance now to the percocets. Do you all really think that taking 4 more than I already can take in a 24 hour period is really going to make that much difference?? I am allowed up to 8 tabs in one day and I say 4 more in a 24 hour time frame because after surgery I was allowed up to 12 pills in a 24 hour period which was round the clock if you will. It just seems like they are not helping me. And, yes I do get leary to ask about other things because of my past. I am scared of oxycontin!!! I dont want to take the Methadone again. Getting tapered off that was so horrible. What the heck else is there!!

    I just can not handle it like that anymore. If the doctor says no school than fine but I want him to say it. I will discuss it with him and get it in writing so I can try to get my money back from the class if possible. I jsut can not do it anymore and I am having a hard time letting it go.

    How do I let the school go? I have the insurance until May as far as I know they can not kick me off the plan or policy especially because I have already paid for it and the reason I would be droping the class would be because of a medical reason.

    If I drop the class that is like ripping a huge part of me out. I know you all understand what I am saying. I think it is time to let it go but I jsut can not believ I even have to make this choice. I want to talk to the doctor first.

    What the heck am I going to do with myself if I can not attend school??? I am sure that I would be able to go to at least 2 meeting a week if I felt up to it. I guess read a lot of books for fun and tend to my orchids.
    OH and can't forget that I will have to wade through all the RED TAPE crap for SSI.

    I feel like my life is falling apart and I can not do one darn thing to change its direction!!! UUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!

    How the heck did I end up here!!!

    I am so sad. This is so not where I want to be right now!!

    See you all in the morning...the typing is getting to me and escalating my pain.

    Nite....

    Chrissy

    Last edited by skych; 02-12-2008 at 09:24 PM.

     
    Old 02-12-2008, 11:40 PM   #11
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Chrissy -

    I'm so sorry about what you're going through. It's just not fair - you are such a kind and compassionate person! I agree with the wise advice you've been given - there needs to be a change in your medications to better manage your pain. You should not be having to live in so much pain day after day.

    You are so right - with pain there comes so much uncertainty - it makes it impossible to plan and live our lives like we should be able to. I also totally understand and relate to the grieving part of it. We grieve the lives we once had. I still grieve the career I had to leave that was so much a part of me. It also is so frustrating when we put so much hope in our surgeries, only to find we're at the same pain level or worse than prior to surgery. Why can't our bodies COOPERATE??

    Sweetie, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    ~ Fiona
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    Old 02-13-2008, 05:01 AM   #12
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Chrissy, I just feel so bad for you. I do think getting a note from the doctor & putting offf school until your pain is better managed is the best thing. It has to be h*** to study with all this going on, not just the pain but the stress of not knowing how tommorrow will be.
    Did you call & see if your surgeon wants any other tests done before you go in?
    I am glad your mom is going with you to see your attorney & I hope someone goes with you to see your surgeon to.
    I agree that you are going to have to have better pain managment so you can at least have better quality of life.

    The hardest thing is not knowing. I am with your there, I took my pain meds & was up 2hrs. later. One night of sleep since my surgery. I am getting concerned here, it will be two weeks tommorrow since the surgery. I have an appointment monday & can't wait. I want to know is this normal? Scared that this surgery may not be a success. Still can't drive so know how you feel. so very tired of not being able to go out for something when I need it, cranky. Depending on others does not get it at all. I woke up after taking the pain meds so upset, I dread going to sleep anymore. I just throb & ache, & the scapula area is so tender when I go to lay against the pillows. My neck is starting to bother me, cracking away. All of it is getting to me. So I know how you feel, at least some what.
    I would definantly demand any other tests that the surgeon may want done now, & for gosh sakes better pain control. I am on the percocet to & at times that pain just lingers, & I know it does not always last more the 2-3 hrs.
    With all that you are trying to do that is not enough. good luck with your meeting with the attorney & as always you are in my thoughts. Sammy

     
    Old 02-13-2008, 06:29 AM   #13
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    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Thanks Sammy, and Fiona,

    I managed to sleep last night and I am thankful for that.

    Today is the appointment with the attorney and I am interested to see what he has to say.

    The way my Neuro does the refill on his meds is you have to call for a refil a few days before you run out, but because he only gives me 7 days worth I am calling right after I get the prescription filled. S

    So I have been getting the prescription mailed ..... yes in the MAIL.

    The NS has another office about 30 miles from here and that is his primary office. He is only in my town every other week.

    To make matters worse I have only 7 pills left and I hope I wont need them all today because if the prescription does not come in the mail I am screwed!!!!

    Not to mention the last time I went to fill the prescription the Pharmacy did not even have any and I had to wait for the shipment to come in so I was actually past due on taking the meds for a few hours.

    This is all to frigging much you guys.

    When my Mom gets up this morning I am going to talk to her about the school thing. As much as I love it and I want to continue reaching for my goal, I just do not think I have it in me anymore.

    I am sad about that.


    As far as my pain goes I did wake up feeling better than I went to bed. Better than I woke up feeling yesturday morning.

    Pain at a 7 this morning. It will be another long day for me. Meeting the attorney and then I got to get my hair done and that takes a few hours. My hair is already totally to long and unmanageable. It is hard for my to wash and dry and curl it evy day because of my neck. It hasa not been cut for about 3 months now and is so long it makes it hard for me to fix it.

    I will certainly post later today about the meeting with the attorney and I may call the doctor and just report what happened yesturday.

    Thanks everyone

    I know I could not do this without all of.

    The power of prayer

    Chrissy

     
    Old 02-13-2008, 12:37 PM   #14
    brianpain33
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    Join Date: Aug 2007
    Location: COLUMBUS, OHIO
    Posts: 2,153
    brianpain33 HB Userbrianpain33 HB User
    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Chrissy:
    Obviously the Percocets are just not cutting the pain enough. You said that you do not want to go on Oxycontin. You do know that the active ingredient in Oxycontin is oxycodone and the Percocet is (oxycodone + acetaminophen) so in essence you are already taking the same thing. If you take Oxycontin it is just the Percocet minus the acetaminophen. Have you tried adding any ibuprophen(Advil) or Aleve. Sometimes adding these anti-inflammatories will help. Even if it only helps a little at least it is a little bit more pain control.

    I know you are worried about going on anything stronger but you need more pain control and right now you NEED SOMETHING STRONGER. Try not to think about the past and the withdrawal from the Methadone. You just need something stronger right now whether it be MS contin, Fentanyl patch, Methadone, or Oxycontin. You need something stronger and something that is long acting. Don't dig up the past and what you went through to get off the Methadone. I know that I did alot of that when I started on the Lortabs again. I went through hell when I went off of Oxycontin & Percocet over about a 1 week period after I told my doctor about my addiction. I will never forget that hell of withdrawal but I knew that I had to get control of the pain and ONLY THINK ABOUT TODAY. You really need to get on the phone and tell your doctor what is going on. He can not read your mind and figure out how bad you are suffering. Please, Please do not go on like this because you may eventually snap and either end up in a mental hospital or relapse and trust me you do not want either one of those because I have been through both of them. Let us know what happens. I will pray for you.

    Brian

    Last edited by brianpain33; 02-13-2008 at 12:37 PM.

     
    Old 02-13-2008, 04:13 PM   #15
    skych
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    Join Date: May 2007
    Location: USA
    Posts: 1,359
    skych HB Userskych HB User
    Re: Grieving....Loss...and fear and Uncertainty..sad again..help

    Hi all,

    Brian I read your other post and I am sorry to hear how much pain you are in as well. The not knowing what is going on just makes it worse.

    As for my meds, I will be discussing this with my NS either on the phone or when I see him. At this point I would like to do something different. I just cant live like that.

    I went to the attorney today and he said not to worry. Yeah right!!!

    He said that all the medical stuff will be taken care of and that he is actually going to seek payments and participation in my coverage not only from my car insurance but from the health insurance that I had at the time of the accident.

    The person at fault for the accident did not have very good insurance and it is now falling under the "under Insured Motorist" part of the insurance that my car had.

    As for my treatment and continuing problems with my neck, he is sending me to have a second opinion because that is something that my Mom and I asked about. I will see my NS on Feb the 22 and then the attorney is going to send me to an ortho who has specialized in necks and spines for a long time. This other doctor actually put an artificial disk in a young woman in my town back when they were in trials here. SHe is doing as good as ever.

    So we have a direction from the attorney and I am not opening any other bills anymore. I am just going to pass them on to the attorney.

    Today was somewhat better and I made it through my hair appointment after the attorney appt.

    It is somewhat flarred right now but I can not take any meds until 6 pm.

    So in the meantime I am going to rest and then have some dinner and it will be time to take them by thne.

    Today my Mom and I started the process of SSI Disability application. We have some things to gather together for that.

    As for the school stuff I am just going to see what happens untill I see the Neuro. I will see if we can get better medicated so I can stay in my class.

    I also got the prescription in the mail today so that was a good thing because I was out of the meds after the dose I took around noon.

    All this stuff is in no way shape or form going to get sorted out in the next 30 days so all I can do is try to get better pain controll and ride it out.

    When I woke up this morning I was so tired!! I think that the huge pain flare really took a lot out of me physically and I am so tired.

    I did not get to study much today but oh well. Better luch tomorrow.

    I gotta get off this computer because it is hurting so I will check you all later.

    Thanks so much for being here for me....

    Chrissy

     
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