It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Chronic Pain Message Board

Chronic pain and depression I think I;m losing it.

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-13-2008, 04:16 PM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 189
georgi HB User
Chronic pain and depression I think I;m losing it.

I can hardly type for crying so much. today is bad. I am in pain. my body aches or feel inflamed most of the time. I have a bad back and a fracture in my back that bothers me as well. I really don't know what is causing all of this aches and inflmation and guess the doctors don't know either. It would help if I had a name to this. I feel like people don't understand. I had parathyroid surgery 2 months ago. I know that my calicum was high in my blood, but that should be resloved. I have an appointment with a new pm doc. I had a panic attack today, just not sure I will get better. How does one cope when you feel bad so much of the time? I tried not to take my pain meds today. I don't want to take this stuff. I ended up taking it because my legs hurt so much. I feel like a big baby. I have been taking St Johns wort for depression for the last 3 years, it worked pretty well up until I changed brands because my pharmacy did not carry it anymore. I don't want to be on drugs my whole life. I also read your post and realize that many of you have it soooo much worse than me, I feel bad complaining. I just want my pain to go away. Sorry to be a drag. The meds are kicking in and I am starting to feel a bit better.
Thanks for letting me get this out.

Hepaitits for blood transfusions 1979
Thymus Cancer stage 4 1985 radiation effected my spine and lungs
Parathyroid tumor 2007
Severe osteoprosis

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 02-13-2008, 04:48 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,153
brianpain33 HB Userbrianpain33 HB User
Re: Chronic pain and depression I think I;m losing it.

You have definitely come to the right place to complain. I think that nearly everyone on this board that does have chronic pain has experienced depression, fear, and hating the effects of the meds. I can tell you that I am definitely one of those people. I am bi-polar but for a long time the doctors thought that it was just depression. I would suggest maybe trying some of the other natural supplements for depression like 5-htp and some others that I can't remember. I was trying to get off of Ultram a couple of months ago and got to a point where I was having over powering and nearly crippling depression. I knew that I needed help especially when thoughts of taking my life were creeping in. So I told my psychiatrist and we tried an anti-depressant which the first one, Prozac, did not mix well and I had to switch to Effexor. I am still having some depression but I know it is no where near where I was without taking it. I have also gotten my pain under very good control and that is helping with the depression factor as well since

more pain -> more depression-> more pain -> more depression -> and on & on

The best way to stop the cycle is to get better control of the pain & possibly add an anti-depressant. I know that Cymbalta has worked very well for many people here as it helps with pain also. I think the anti-depressant help to change the way we perceive pain. When we are not depressed, the mind is able to handle the pain better, just my opinion.

As for not wanting to deal with the drug side effects. Trust me I do not like having to deal with the side effects day after day. But the benefits definitely do outweight the side effects. That is how all of us decide whether to take certain medications for pain. If you can put up with an tolerate the side effects and it allows you greater quality of life, then why not take them. I am on a mixture of meds that would totally nock some people out and these are per day: Lyrica 600mg, Trileptal 1500mg, fentanyl patch 50mcg, ultram 100mg, Lortab 20mg/day and melatonin 3mg (at night), benadryl 50-75mg (at night). If you think that I like the side effects, he** no. I can tell you that my pain levels average about a 3 instead of a couple of months ago when they were averaging 6-7. So you are definitely not the only one who goes through these things and this is the place to get them out. I like how one of my counselors put it that I was emotionally consipated and I just needed to let it out. So just let it out.


Old 02-14-2008, 01:31 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,345
hessie28 HB Userhessie28 HB User
Re: Chronic pain and depression I think I;m losing it.

Hi Georgi, Hope you are doing better. It is not easy. I don't know how I do it somedays either. There are days I can't even get up and shower. I am 43 and had to retire because I could not work anymore with the pain. I also have Narcolepsy, sleep apnea, undiagnosed stomach problems in addition to the pain from my lumbar fusion, nerve damage etc. My dr. suggested that I was depressed because I am in so much pain and tired all the time. I told her I was not. The symptons of Narcolepsy are almost identical to depression. I told her the difference is that I want to get out of bed but physically cannot. Not the other way around. Somedays I sit here and just say to myself that I am so sick of being in pain. I'm sick of going to the dr. constantly. I'm sick of taking a handful of meds everyday. I take two different amphetamines for the Narcolepsy just to stay awake. Then I take Topamax, Skelaxin and Oxycodone for pain which make you tired. The meds fight each other. People don't understand. I have to listen to my mother tell me all the time that I take too much medicine. She means well. I tell her I need it all. Since that actor died she thinks I am going to screw up with my meds. I know what I am doing. Everyday I put a smile on my face so people don't even know I am in so much pain. I have a 14 year old son so I think that is what keeps me going. I don't want him to know what kind of pain I am in. I'll say I am in pain so he knows but does not know to what extent. I go to his games in pain etc. I try to keep things normal. It just stinks. I use to worry about too much meds. But, you have to do what you have to do. Weigh the pros and cons. I didn't mean to give you my life story. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I hope it helps you to know you are not alone. Feel better.

Old 02-14-2008, 07:39 AM   #4
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 87
lizzybrog80 HB User
Re: Chronic pain and depression I think I;m losing it.

Hessie, one thing you said stuck out to me, and is a driving force behind the depression I frequently feel - and that is that you put a smile on your face so people don't know you're in pain. I do the same thing. We pretend that everything is OK, when inside it is so far from OK..... I think that by living a "double life" somewhat, that drives the depression deeper - for me anyway. We put on the smile so that people don't know we're in pain, but then I think I get angry that people don't know. It's not that I want sympathy, but it's like I want support. I think we, as human beings, need a little bit of love & caring. Sometimes we just want to hear: "I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you're doing OK." We do hear that here on the board, but sometimes I think I crave it in real like. Maybe it's sort of like wanting some empathy. Wanting people to realize how bad off we really are. Because when we put on a smile & pretend everything is OK, everyone else goes about life like everything is OK. But sometimes you just want to scream: "Everything is NOT ok - do you people have any idea how much pain I'm in? How many medications I take? How diminished my quality of life is?" I don't know. I'm not making any sense. But I know I do the "put on a happy face" routine, but then I crave the opposite - I want people to know. I find myself wishing pain on people sometimes, just so they could have a glimpse into what my life feels like. What a horrible thing to say, but it's the way I feel. This board has been a blessing, knowing that there are others out there who actually get it. Even my husband, sweet as he is and supportive as he is, doesn't "get it." Anyway......
Back pain since March 2005
2 ESI's - Feb. 2006
Discograms 11/16/06 & 7/10/07
End. Discectomy - July 2007 (L4/5)
3-level Foraminal Inj. - Jan. 2008 (L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1)
IDET - 1/25/08 (L3/4)

Old 07-05-2011, 01:39 PM   #5
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 18
molliefrog24 HB User
Re: Chronic pain and depression I think I;m losing it.

oh my word..i just came across this and i feel the exact same way. and i have sort of felt guilty for feeling that way-wishing people could feel my pain just so they would know what it's like -wishing they could be on the meds im on just so they could feel how crappy it is. this is an old post but i just had to write back! it's so wonderful to hear that from someone even if it is online. thankyou!

The following user gives a hug of support to molliefrog24:
nochange (08-04-2011)
Old 07-10-2011, 06:43 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 1,409
nochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB User
Re: Chronic pain and depression I think I;m losing it.

oh, I wish people would feel for a moment my pain.

The following user gives a hug of support to nochange:
molliefrog24 (07-11-2011)
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Chronic Fatigue - Any Help would be GREATLY appreciated Please. luvmybabies2 Chronic Fatigue 10 04-15-2011 09:11 PM
anxiety/depression,etc a result of the pain,etc from fibro or Mikeyson3 Fibromyalgia 7 04-24-2010 04:00 PM
Can chronic pain be caused by just depression? Mitsuko Chronic Pain 4 02-15-2008 01:12 AM
depression stemming from chronic pain momofsix Pain Management 7 11-07-2006 12:06 PM
A Letter to Normals from a Person With Chronic Pain Drewtn Pain Management 24 12-14-2005 02:48 AM
Letter to people with chronic pain *Please Read* *Long* dancergirl587 Lyme Disease 5 11-14-2004 10:47 PM
To All, especially Linda Re: Living In Chronic Pain BAXTER Back Problems 44 02-13-2004 02:57 AM
To All: Re: Living In Chronic Pain BAXTER Pain Management 13 01-25-2004 04:58 AM
To All....Re: Living in Chronic Pain.................. joprud Spinal Cord Disorders 12 06-21-2003 03:33 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:40 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!