Hi Sandy, So sorry to hear your feeling this way.
Reardless of what you try to explain, their are some folks that just equate opiate use to addiction. Befor the late 90's every doc and nurse were tought the same thing.Longterm useof opiates is bad and only leads to adiction. I remeber when I first hurt my back I saw a well respected spine Ortho. His advice was wait untill it's absolutely unbearable and what I really needed to do was ecercise 3 or 4 days a week/ Walkd out knowing I had huge bulges and tears in disc impinging nerves. and all I need to do is excercie, Sure
The real changing ponmt for me after 3 dailed surgeries 93, 96, and 99 left me bed wridden for a years. Surgeon discontinued the meds quick before that is was like begging for 20 viodin A WEEK TO KEEP FRFOM GIVING UP. He got tired of the requests, cut me off and referred me to the local med schools dept head of pain management took 10 weeks to get in to see her.. Her deal was acupuncture and anti D's. At least she admitted that she didn't think she could help me ans referred me to a program at anifferent hospital that had in and out patient pain management. So I went a month there, doing everything from art therapy to counseling, PT twice a day etc etc. Very structured. But their doc did use pain meds, It took from 93 to 2000 and 3 failed fusions to convince these docs, their methods just didn't help. That was the 3rd 30 day pogram I had done.
I ended up changing docs because the director of the clinic wasn't in my network, clinic was, but not her private practiuce. She referred me to another clinic that had been their for years where they offered pretty much anything and everything interventionally, to SCS and pumps and med management along with an onsight shrink.. WE did modalities some I had done before, some I hadn't, but he put me on morphine, worked with me on the insurance switching me back between MScontin, Kadian and Methadone for a couple years. but soon meth was all I could afford. It ,ade ,e feel cappy, laxy, I would fall asleep and baically nod, It wasn't ptetty and not how I wanted to spend my life.
The subject of the pump had come up several times over the last decade and I felt what to I have to loose. The frst trial failed miserablly do to a spinal fluid leak, But 6 months later I did another trial and it was succesful, I had surgery, healed, started working out, lost almost 40 lbs and returned to work part time under the ticket to work program.. SDSD doesn't make it easy, you can loose benefits if you exceed the max amount you can earn by 1 dollar in one e month. Right now that dolar amount is 720 nucks, Pretty pathetic but do have someone other than TV half ther day was such a blessing.
But I truly have found that much of what I learnd in PM boot camps when opiates weren't used, and all the PT I had been through tought me to excercise without hurting myself and what to focus on.
I can't explain what going back to any kind of work when you have been home bound for several years. It's an amazing feeling to interact with other adults, feel like you doing something productive and just covering my monthly medical expenses.
Untill you decide to see things for all you sill have rather than all you have lost, thinking things will never change prevent you from changing or your life from changing.
. It's baby steps, First you got to get walking, even if it's to do things someone else may gladly do for you, Then start walking outside, My phylosophy was i was really such a wrechk already, how much worse could I make it bby trying to regain strength and endurance.
The absolute worse thing you can do for overall health is to be sedentary. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. My determing factor for the use of opiates is that it's perfectly safe if they don't impair you more than your physical condition. I hated the way LA orals made me feel, The head fog, nodding off, etc tec. I just felt drugged to get to a level of relief that I didn't want to end it. The pump seemed like a great opportunity because you don't have all the cognative effects of taking orals.
I worked yesterday and am paying for it dearly, didn't sleep, hurt like a %%$^&* but I made decent money for 5 and half hours, had a lot of interaction with others and just fee llike Im a contributing member to society. I have no doubt you pain is real, I just wonder how much better you could make things trying to me more active. I can bearly sit still 10 minutes with the junkyard in my back so I know how much it benefits to tighten and stregthen you core, not to mention feeling strong from fdding dumbells into an aerobic workout.
It's one step at a time, If you went to the gym tomorrow you would wreck yourslf. But how much worse would walking to the mail box make you feel. I truly believe those of us with good docs, are doing the best they can, sadly not enough explain how important it is for the patient to do all they can do to improve their own situatiom. Life is truly a glass is half full or half empty kind of thing when uyou through long term chonic pain into the equaltion. You ca ount our glessingg and work yo increase those or you spend you time thniking about all the negatives aspects, what you have lost, etc etc. Wouldn't those day be better served if you doul sneek a quick workout in and make the night special for a loved one. How you act given you circumstances are entirely up to you.
Good luck, Dave
Sorry bout spelling and grammer, slept aboutt 2 hours after work sitting up and haven't been able to lie flat and sleep yet.. But it's still worth geting out o the house.
