It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Chronic Pain Message Board

  • So tired of it!

  • Post New Thread   Reply Reply
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 03-17-2015, 02:12 PM   #1
    cspineguy
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Posts: 219
    cspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB User
    So tired of it!

    Haven't posted in a while, as things have been pretty crazy, I live in the northeast so we have been dealing with snowstorm after snowstorm this winter, and it's left me not only a little stir crazy but of course an increase in pain from the bitter cold.
    So I guess I'm just tired of it all. Tired of always being in pain, tired of always going to doctors, and tired of all the medical stuff and tests ect. And I'm about to start again with more doctors as I now have to see a urologist and also get a full neurology check up as a lot of my symptoms are worsening. I now have to use a lot of voice recognition stuff to even type as my hands are getting so sore.
    One thing that really bothered me this week was going out to dinner for my niece's birthday. Aside from the usual production of making sure I have all my pillows neck braces medication and things to make me comfortable, halfway through dinner my hands start to lock up and I'm an awful pain. And on the ride home my shoulder and arm goes into spasm and I feel like I want to cut the darn thing off! And somehow during the last few days I must've twisted my foot as it's put me in pain and I'm hobbling around which is putting stress on my neck and shoulders...oh the good times never stop!
    So I guess the gist of this thread is just that I'm tired of all this, so tired of doctors and dealing with insurance companies and SSDI, and not to be able to just enjoy my life with my friends and family. Some people will tell you that things will get better, but I'm starting to really lose hope

     
    Reply With Quote
    The following 7 users give hugs of support to: cspineguy
    Gloria1335 (05-08-2015),gmak (03-29-2015),karlee1010 (05-11-2015),momzworkin (03-18-2015),parker1261 (03-18-2015),tortoisegirl (03-18-2015),touchmenot (03-19-2015)
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 03-17-2015, 05:26 PM   #2
    BB07
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    BB07's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2010
    Location: Lower Alabama
    Posts: 1,102
    BB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    My Friend-

    you are just right-nothin' else to ad.......
    __________________
    constant companion pain

     
    Reply With Quote
    The Following User Says Thank You to BB07 For This Useful Post:
    cspineguy (03-18-2015)
    Old 03-18-2015, 01:02 AM   #3
    parker1261
    Senior Member
    (female)
     
    parker1261's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2014
    Location: Texas
    Posts: 232
    parker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB Userparker1261 HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    hey there you are ! kinda wondered where you went - and yup everyone's been sidelined by the weather....if it doesn't stop raining sometime soon i will lose it ! cold and rain are NOT my friend !......i understand my dear.....i've cried and cried these last few months....this cannot be our life can it ? that's my biggest deepest fear....what are we gonna do dude ? short of opening a vein (sarcasm kidding) i have no clear picture of the future anymore, how about you? not even a small inkling......and i don't know if i even care..........now that you're all cheered up i will sign off....just know that i feel the same way.....living the dream man......
    __________________
    If you lick the icing off a cupcake it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    Be careful when following the masses; sometimes the "M" is silent !
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 03-18-2015, 05:59 AM   #4
    momzworkin
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: Kansas City, Kansas
    Posts: 843
    momzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB Usermomzworkin HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    ***HUG*** A big, gentle hug, dear. I know how you feel. I never know what is going to hurt more when I wake up in the morning. My husband is STILL just learning to understand some of what I go through. He is wonderfully supportive, but we had a serious and sad conversation last night about what our life might look like in 20 years after seeing a woman in a wheelchair. He said the thought scares him, but he will be there no matter what. I know I can count on him. I just hope it doesn't come to that!
    Are you taking anything for depression, or have you talked to a pain psychologist? My PM office has one one staff and she has been really helpful at times when I am overwhelmed.
    Glad you are back on this board where we can support you -at least through the web!
    Blessings,
    Momz
    __________________
    07/2006: A/P fusion L4-S1; DX DDD
    09/2009: started PM
    04/2011: Right rotator cuff tear
    09/2011: re-tore shoulder in PT- lost 30% function in shoulder
    06/2013: diagnosed with failure of L2-L3-L4

     
    Reply With Quote
    The Following User Says Thank You to momzworkin For This Useful Post:
    cspineguy (03-18-2015)
    Old 03-18-2015, 01:34 PM   #5
    cspineguy
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Posts: 219
    cspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Haven't been on the boards too much, as my hands have really been bothering me and like you the weather really sidelined me too, feel like I'm just starting to wake from a really bad dream.
    You hit another good point and that is the future, so hard to even think about it. So far it's been doctors, tests, and ssdi! And I'm starting again with more of it for the spring. But long term, so many plans I had pre chronic pain, seem long ago. Traveling, doing DIY on my home are gone and even holidays are more of a chore than something fun. Just waiting for something to give and let me feel like I'm back in the world, at least some of the time.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by parker1261 View Post
    hey there you are ! kinda wondered where you went - and yup everyone's been sidelined by the weather....if it doesn't stop raining sometime soon i will lose it ! cold and rain are NOT my friend !......i understand my dear.....i've cried and cried these last few months....this cannot be our life can it ? that's my biggest deepest fear....what are we gonna do dude ? short of opening a vein (sarcasm kidding) i have no clear picture of the future anymore, how about you? not even a small inkling......and i don't know if i even care..........now that you're all cheered up i will sign off....just know that i feel the same way.....living the dream man......

     
    Reply With Quote
    The following user gives a hug of support to cspineguy:
    parker1261 (03-23-2015)
    Old 03-18-2015, 01:46 PM   #6
    cspineguy
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Posts: 219
    cspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Funny you mentioned wheelchair, as that is something that is always in the back of my mind. What will the future bring and what will my condition be in 20 years. I've had many nights thinking about that and if it happened how I would cope and how we would have to change things drastically in our lives. Right now, I can do some light driving, but that is getting worse and I almost found myself stuck and unable to drive home from my families house, very scary. I do have an appointment for a neurology check, as things have been getting worse and so far no one seems to know what is the real cause. It is a hospital program that specializes in looking at the whole body and hopefully able to come up with a treatment plan.
    My PM does have behavior health as part of their program and I've also been seeing a private therapist twice a month for depression. He has helped a lot with dealing with feeling useless and coming to terms with my life now.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by momzworkin View Post
    ***HUG*** A big, gentle hug, dear. I know how you feel. I never know what is going to hurt more when I wake up in the morning. My husband is STILL just learning to understand some of what I go through. He is wonderfully supportive, but we had a serious and sad conversation last night about what our life might look like in 20 years after seeing a woman in a wheelchair. He said the thought scares him, but he will be there no matter what. I know I can count on him. I just hope it doesn't come to that!
    Are you taking anything for depression, or have you talked to a pain psychologist? My PM office has one one staff and she has been really helpful at times when I am overwhelmed.
    Glad you are back on this board where we can support you -at least through the web!
    Blessings,
    Momz

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 03-18-2015, 08:08 PM   #7
    touchmenot
    Junior Member
    (female)
     
    touchmenot's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2013
    Location: wv
    Posts: 48
    touchmenot HB Usertouchmenot HB Usertouchmenot HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Understand 100%. I have been feeling really crappy myself. Believe part of it is SAD. Hopefully, as spring arrives and the warmer weather is here, it will help us cope better with the pain and all the other things we have to deal with.

     
    Reply With Quote
    The Following User Says Thank You to touchmenot For This Useful Post:
    cspineguy (03-20-2015)
    Old 03-19-2015, 06:50 PM   #8
    gmak
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,648
    gmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Hi C spine, Glad to hear from you and I understand. Unlike most of the country I haven't endured the frozen tundra but evenso I can say that winters are my worst times and so happy spring is so soon and then summer... Yes! Also, I remember looking into the future 20 years ago in pain mgmt and thankfully the things I feared the most didn't happen, well some did like losing career, but mostly it's just been a very slow progression but I am pretty much the same except neurologically and I get scared looking at the next 20 years because I will be elderly as well! Lol Not funny really, our fears must be pretty similar actually as just in this one thread I think most of mine have been mentioned. Cspine as long as the drs are still looking for an answer, a treatment plan, etc it can be overwhelming and tedious and long but there's hope they will find something like a new medicine or a cause that can be corrected or a new treatment or surgery that will help. The worst for me was when 3 NS's and my pain dr too told me there is no surgery, no treatment, nothing that can be done. I have a new kind of nerve pain that's horrid and nothing relieves it and yes you guessed right the dr is doing nothing. No med change, no MRI. Just nothing. No referrals, no testing just nothing & while all of that is a big hassle it was better imo than nothing. So that's why i need support here and we can be there for each other to get help through the tough times and help someone hopefully when it's a better day because while my husband also tries to understand he can't grasp this do nothing concept. So.. Spring and it's already helping me today and I so hope it helps you too!

    Last edited by gmak; 03-19-2015 at 07:15 PM.

     
    Reply With Quote
    The Following User Says Thank You to gmak For This Useful Post:
    cspineguy (03-20-2015)
    Old 03-22-2015, 05:59 AM   #9
    cspineguy
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Posts: 219
    cspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Hi Gmak,
    So glad your winter wasn't too bad and hoping we all have some good weather soon.
    Yeah, more testings for me, but hope to get some more answers as last year I went thru all this and felt afterward like it was a waste with conflicting diagnosis. So it was time to see a neurologist to find out why things have been getting worse, even though my MRI's show no major changes from the past year.
    Sorry about the NS telling you there was no treatment or anything. I remember the day when we went back to my NS and he said it couldn't help and I had to go into pain management. It had my wife in tears, as we really felt like he just gave up and pushed us on someone else and until that point never heard about failed back surgery.
    Hope you are doing better today and having less pain. It's cold here, but at least the sun is out



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by gmak View Post
    Hi C spine, Glad to hear from you and I understand. Unlike most of the country I haven't endured the frozen tundra but evenso I can say that winters are my worst times and so happy spring is so soon and then summer... Yes! Also, I remember looking into the future 20 years ago in pain mgmt and thankfully the things I feared the most didn't happen, well some did like losing career, but mostly it's just been a very slow progression but I am pretty much the same except neurologically and I get scared looking at the next 20 years because I will be elderly as well! Lol Not funny really, our fears must be pretty similar actually as just in this one thread I think most of mine have been mentioned. Cspine as long as the drs are still looking for an answer, a treatment plan, etc it can be overwhelming and tedious and long but there's hope they will find something like a new medicine or a cause that can be corrected or a new treatment or surgery that will help. The worst for me was when 3 NS's and my pain dr too told me there is no surgery, no treatment, nothing that can be done. I have a new kind of nerve pain that's horrid and nothing relieves it and yes you guessed right the dr is doing nothing. No med change, no MRI. Just nothing. No referrals, no testing just nothing & while all of that is a big hassle it was better imo than nothing. So that's why i need support here and we can be there for each other to get help through the tough times and help someone hopefully when it's a better day because while my husband also tries to understand he can't grasp this do nothing concept. So.. Spring and it's already helping me today and I so hope it helps you too!

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 03-22-2015, 04:33 PM   #10
    gmak
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,648
    gmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Thank you Cspine! Yes I had that diagnosis, failed back surgery syndrome for 17 years and it certainly was a good reason to cry! I always wondered how that diagnosis fit me because my surgeries weren't failures but never expected arach because I'd never heard of it! I'm wearing shorts, it's a perfect 76 degrees and just got home from seeing a play at the theatre and out to eat and I'm doing so good today it's a marvel! The old pain is so well controlled but then the new pain which is sacral/tailbone area nerve pain started up and is bad but I had a great 5 hours after killing wake up pain and the beginning of this now. I so hope that the neurogist can help you and it will be warm there before you know it! I wish I could turn on a giant fan and send you warm air right now! lol

     
    Reply With Quote
    The Following User Says Thank You to gmak For This Useful Post:
    cspineguy (03-23-2015)
    Old 03-23-2015, 02:02 PM   #11
    cspineguy
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Posts: 219
    cspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Hi Gmak,
    So glad you are doing good this afternoon and enjoying the weather. Please send some my way! LOL
    Don't mornings stink. Mornings for me is usually hours on the heating pad just to get moving. Not a good day today for me, don't know if I just reached or turned the wrong way, but after doing a small errand, I was in agony and lying down in tears. To be honest just so sick of it. And now aside from dealing with the neck/shoulder/arm pain I gained after surgery, now my hands are driving me nuts. They are always in pain and numb, lock up, and I have even more problems doing things I enjoy like painting. On top of it I have urinary problems that need to be looked at, as I've had pain and blood in my urine. Sometimes it just seems to never end!
    Thanks for listening to my rants, as today I feel like I've just had it.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by gmak View Post
    Thank you Cspine! Yes I had that diagnosis, failed back surgery syndrome for 17 years and it certainly was a good reason to cry! I always wondered how that diagnosis fit me because my surgeries weren't failures but never expected arach because I'd never heard of it! I'm wearing shorts, it's a perfect 76 degrees and just got home from seeing a play at the theatre and out to eat and I'm doing so good today it's a marvel! The old pain is so well controlled but then the new pain which is sacral/tailbone area nerve pain started up and is bad but I had a great 5 hours after killing wake up pain and the beginning of this now. I so hope that the neurogist can help you and it will be warm there before you know it! I wish I could turn on a giant fan and send you warm air right now! lol

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 03-23-2015, 08:37 PM   #12
    gmak
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,648
    gmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Hi Cspine, I have those days! Too many to count so it makes a good day stick out like a true red letter day! Im so sorry hearing about your hands and all of the pain and difficulty! Has the radiologist ever mentioned on any of your MRI reports the words " clumping of nerve roots?" Just curious. I hope tomorrow is a better day! You mentioned in original post on this thread that you were afraid you wouldn't be able to drive home from a family members home. Well, I get so nervous that that will happen to me because I've been traumatized when at church or grocery and couldn't drive home because pain so severe and now I'm afraid to even try and when I do I'm terrified the whole time. I don't know what it is that makes that scenario so bad in my mind but you are the very first person who understands! Thank you because I needed that living among the healthy, thank God, people who just don't get it!!!

    Last edited by gmak; 03-23-2015 at 08:39 PM.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 03-24-2015, 06:28 AM   #13
    cspineguy
    Senior Member
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Posts: 219
    cspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB Usercspineguy HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    Hi Gmak,
    There hasn't been anything like clump of nerves on my MRIs. One of the most annoying things is having two different drs giving different reasons. One Dr who did an EMG, said it was carpal tunnel, which I already had and he said it returned. When we saw a hand surgeon he looked at the same report plus did an exam and said it wasn't carpal tunnel, but most likely coming from my neck. Hopefully the neuroolgist can shed some light on this and figure out what is going on.
    You definitely not alone in being afraid of driving. I never know how it will affect me or if I can even get back, which is why I try to keep it to short trips, like down the street to the pharmacy. Today a friend is taking me to the doctors because it's too long a drive and my only other option is public transportation which during this winter hasn't been very good.

     
    Reply With Quote
    The following user gives a hug of support to cspineguy:
    parker1261 (03-24-2015)
    The Following User Says Thank You to cspineguy For This Useful Post:
    gmak (03-29-2015)
    Old 03-28-2015, 08:14 PM   #14
    gmak
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Oct 2012
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,648
    gmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB Usergmak HB User
    Re: So tired of it!

    I so hope the dr visit went well And the dr is one that can help you! Restoration of your hands working is a huge thing! Sometimes when I read about all the very intricate, miraculous technologically advanced things that are done in medicine these days I wonder why do I never seem to have a dr that is like that no matter how many I see and I wish I could find one that could do something new and fabulous to help me and I hope that for you as well!

     
    Reply With Quote
    The following user gives a hug of support to gmak:
    karlee1010 (05-11-2015)
    Reply Reply




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:31 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!