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  • need advice urgently!!!

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    Old 06-07-2016, 10:13 AM   #1
    KioCo's Avatar
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    KioCo HB User
    Question need advice urgently!!!

    Hey guys, I'm here to ask about how to deal with my girlfriend.
    So we've only been dating for two months, however due to certain circumstances she and her best girlfriend moved into my house. And because of that I've been spending a lot of time with them, and I'm pretty sure that their relationship is a codependent one. Now I'm absolutely no expert on this subject which is why I'd like you to decide weather my theory has any merit and if yes, what I should do.

    So there are quite a few things that seem abnormal about their relationship:
    1. Their completely different: My girlfriend is smart, funny, responsible, disciplined, helpful, modest and caring. Her friend on the other hand is the exact, awful opposite: entitled, arrogant, dumb, and loud.
    2. Their not on equal footing: Her friend behaves like she owns her, she sends her to get her food, has her do the majority of their chores, gets angry with her over the most trivial things, has her do all of her college assignments even thought she has more than she could possible handle from her own college........
    3. She decides everything: where they go out, when, with who and how long they stay. She even gets mad when she's not invited to go out with us.....
    4. My girlfriend supports all the poor decisions her friend makes: her friend likes to have sex with married men her mothers age, and my girlfriend admits she hates it, and jet she'll still cover for her, and doesn't say anything about it to her.
    5. She doesn't accept criticism: her friend had a birthday when we just started dating and we asked her if she has any plans, she said no, so we organised a party. I bought everything, cake, booze, invited friends..... only for her to ask me a hour in if I'd mind if they left to meet one of her old-guy buddies for a hour or two. I said ok. they left and didn't even come back until morning. I was talking to my girl the whole time and she spend it complaining about how she wished to come back and how annoying the old people there were. Now after all that she still wont admit that her friend behaved unthankful that day and she'll even try to justify her actions.
    6. She hates her mom because of it: when I asked her why she only hangs out with her even though she has friends, and she started biting, explaining that she hates that question and that it's the main reason why she and her mom fight. She then told me how her mom believes that their relationship is unhealthy and that she should also hang out with other people, after which a huge fight ensued......

    What do you guys think?

    Last edited by mod85; 06-30-2016 at 05:15 AM.

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    movielover40 (06-07-2016)
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    Old 06-07-2016, 10:21 AM   #2
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    Re: need advice urgently!!!

    I think your girlfriends Mom is pretty smart.

    I hope this is temporary.

    Best of luck to you.

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    Old 06-30-2016, 03:50 AM   #3
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    Re: need advice urgently!!!

    Hi. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have kind of a similar situation that happened to me years ago. Only my situation involved the problem of my friend and my husband were too close with each other for my liking! Yes I think the relationship between your g/f and her friend is not healthy at best. I can see how this situation could blow up any minute. I would immediately talk to your g/f and see if you can get her to see that this is not good for ANY of you to be in. Then the two of you make a plan to get the friend to move out because this could very well cost you your relationship with her! I hope this helps!!

    Last edited by Angelofmusic101; 06-30-2016 at 03:52 AM.

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