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Pregnant by an addict ...

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Old 09-25-2017, 05:56 PM   #1
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Pregnant by an addict ...

I met my ex nearly 3 and half years ago and fell madly in love. We've been on and off in what I guess you can call a "complicated relationship". I always thought he just had commitment issues but I soon found out he enjoyed partying and doing drugs. That paired with commitment issues caused a rocky relationship.

He was always so sweet to me, always says the right things and made me feel amazing. But when he'd leave, everything would change. He'd never answer his phone, no matter what time of day I tried to call, no answer. He'd show up to my house hours later than planned. No matter how I tried to talk to him or argue and get upset, things just got worse. No matter how good of a conversation id think we'd have, it seemed to not matter at all.

Last year I got pregnant with his baby. This exposed even more of his true colours. He would disappear for days and tell me that he just needed some space. I felt it was so unfair as I was already so scared and undecisive. I needed him and Everytime I'd turn to him, he'd disappear. He never ever answered his phone, even shortly after he'd leave my house. I just always felt do disrespected and hurt. I could never understand because when we are together, he'd tell me he truly loves me and will change and that he's just struggling with things in life.

Eventually he admitted having a drug and alcohol problem. He'd sound hopeful and say he wants to go to treatment, he'd ask me to look into treatment centers for him and I started having hope again. But soon realized nothing was gna change. The same behavior continued and even got worse.

We ended up breaking it off for 4 months. I never should have looked back. Before we broke up he said he was gns go to treatment and get help. Over the 4 months I got a new job a new place and was doing pretty well, was on the road to healing.

Unfortunately I let him back in my life. He messaged me after finding my profile. We spoke for a few minutes and I tried to end the convo but he asked if we could talk on the phone and the rest is history. I shouldn't have let him back in but I did.

I got pregnant again, within the first few days of us hanging out again. I am now 11 weeks pregnant with his baby and surprise, he's acting the same way as last year. Actually, worse.

He had already disappears for a day and a half when I texted him to tell him I was pregnant. He called me later that night and claimed he had a run in with the law and got caught with drugs. He then said he had to go into a treatment program for a week and wouldnt be able to contact me frequently. He told me he loved me and that he was excited about the baby and to stay strong and patient and he'd be back soon. I stayed hopeful for a week or so and then started to question what was going on. I emailed him and called, he would email me days later and say he only access to internet every 3 days and had to stay off his phone.

He msged me twice within a month of being in this "treatment centre". Which he said was an alternative to jail. Eventually I saw him again, he had no proof of being in treatment and didn't even talk about it when I saw him. Infact he admitted to drinking a beer before coming to see me.

I saw him a few times over the next few weeks, in between those times he'd disappear for 1-4 days. The last time I saw him I begged him not to disappear again and he said he promised he wouldn't, he said that "running from you is running from myself". He says he loves me so much and that our baby is a blessing. But it's been 10 days since I saw him last and 6 days since I heard from him last.

It's been 6 days (since I heard from him), I've called and left msgs crying. I've texted and emailed. I begged him to tell me why he'd tell me he loves me so much and treat me like I'm worthless. I really don't understand.

I love him so much but hate him at the same time.

Can you go on a crack/cocaine/alcohol binge for 10 or more days?

Sorry for the rambling. Hopefully someone has some advice for me...

Last edited by Administrator; 09-25-2017 at 06:26 PM.

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Old 09-26-2017, 01:34 PM   #2
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Re: Pregnant by an addict ...

I don't think there is a time limit on going on a can last indefinitely, even forever.....
What you need to consider is that if you have this child you are a single parent, no matter what he says, it's just never going to materialize. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Do you have the means to raise this child by yourself?

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