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Addiction To People (Codependency)

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Old 07-19-2005, 12:39 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 205
Derangea HB User
Addiction To People (Codependency)

I have an addiction to this one guy, who is awful for me. I have a boyfriend who I never see so I always feel neglected. When I'm alone I abuse myself mentally and physically. How can I get pass this? How can I learn to live with myself and just focus on myself? Anyone else have this problem?
"All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses."

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Old 07-19-2005, 05:43 PM   #2
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: a state that borders canada
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weasel HB User
Re: Addiction To People (Codependency)

not really sure what to tell you, but i kind of get where you are coming from. i wouldnt call it an "addiction". with all the boyfriends that i've had (not that many) i have this huge issue that when they arent around my brain starts going. like not really a voice, but thoughts going through my head that hes not with me at that moment because he doesnt want to be with me because im not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough, and im all that because im lazy and i blame my laziness on what my doctor calls bipolar and i got to tthat doctor by letting these thoughts snowball, and its this huge cycle . is that kind of what you are talking about? i never got into the self harm thing thank god.

anyway, a few suggestions, though they dont alway work.

- Keep your mind occupied. watch tv, read a book, DO something. they say excercise helps everything, but i know i can never get my rear end that motivated. try meditation. read books about it or read about it online.

- this one helps me. i separate myself from my brain. this sounds weird, but in the initial stages when that thought process kicks in, its helpful to kind of tell yourself to stop. so like when i talk to my therapist about it i say stuff like "my brain keeps telling me im not goodenough, blah blah blah " because I KNOW with the conscious, healthy part of my brain it realy is all in my head.

i hope this helps a little bit. you helped me anyway. i thought i was the only one who felt neglected regardless of the reason for us not being in the same vicinity.

except i live with my boyfriend and he works from bout that??

Old 07-20-2005, 05:26 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 205
Derangea HB User
Re: Addiction To People (Codependency)

Thanks Weasel,

I should just try shutting down my brain. You know, I used to do that alot when I was younger now that I think about it. Maybe I should start it up again. I felt REALLY bad about myself lastnight when I coudn't get a hold of my boyfriend for the longest time. He usually gets off work at 5. And then 9pm came around and he finally calls me and tells me he's been home since 1pm but just forgot to tell me. That really ticked me off. But I didn't show it. Because I'm afraid he'll leave me then. Which is stupid, I know. Here are some other symptoms of codependency when you're away from a certain person or "addicted" to someone who is bad for you:

*Consuming or obsessive thoughts of the object of your love
*Avoidance of the loss of this love
*Seeking to avoid rejection or abandonment at all cost
*Manipulation to regain this love
*Extreme dependency on this love
*Perceives love and relationship as a basic human need
*Sense of worthlessness without a relationship or partner
*Feelings of not being whole outside of a relationship
*Extremely accepting of abuse, often putting rational explanations to irrational treatment from another
*Defining "wants" as "needs"
*Refusal to acknowledge these as a problem
"All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses."

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