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  • Just found out the guy Ive been dating has cystic fibrosis... he wont talk about it..

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    Old 10-25-2009, 09:38 PM   #1
    bmc1086's Avatar
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    Unhappy Just found out the guy Ive been dating has cystic fibrosis... he wont talk about it..

    My boyfriends mom recently informed me that he was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis in 8th grade. He is now 22, my age. He refuses to talk about it and Im pretty sure he doesnt take his meds. He has a terrible cough (just got over swine flu) and Ive noticed his fingers and toes are clubbed. He is also pretty skinny. But otherwise seems to funtion normally as far as appetite and energy level. Does this mean he probably has severe or mild case? Ive read alot about the disease recently but most of the information is about children and i work in healthcare and have delt with a few cf patients but they were all very very severe cases. I would just like to know anything anyone can tell me about cf diagnosed in adolescents and if anyone has any idea what i can do to tenderly help him deal with this. Any advise or shared wisdom would be greatly apprehiated. Thank you.

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    Old 10-26-2009, 12:32 AM   #2
    aimski's Avatar
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    Re: Just found out the guy Ive been dating has cystic fibrosis... he wont talk about

    oh dear, I am so sorry to read this...I work with people who have cf, so I know a little about it....I don't know if you know but, it is not common for people with Cf to live beyond there 30's early 40's....they can go well for a while but even those on meds and have regular hospital visits start to go down hill at some point.
    If you want to be with him, just be there for him, encourage him to talk to you and share how he is feeling- i'm sure he would appreciate your love and support
    I wish you well

    Old 11-03-2009, 04:25 PM   #3
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    Re: Just found out the guy Ive been dating has cystic fibrosis... he wont talk about

    Hey, I'm 23 and I have been diagnosed since I was 3 months old. First thing I would suggest is do not pressure him to talk about it, if your with someone that sick, you probably wouldnt anyways, but sometimes people find it hard coping with something they have been given, and for him to talk to you about it, takes ALOT of trust in a relationship, and if you guys are newly dating, I dont see him opening up soon. Sorry. As per him being severe or mild, you can never tell by his cough or anything. Guys are usually alot skinnier when having CF, also the cough in ALL CF patients is extremely harsh especially at his age or mine I should say.

    As a girl, I have never coped with a guy who has CF, now the reason I could suggest his doesnt take his meds, the same problem I had as a teen or growing up, I have no where to put them when I went out, and generally I dont like people starring at me when I am taking my medication. now that I am 23, I have a purse, I can store my meds in there, and when I need them just take them out.

    I would suggest you wait for him to come "clean" about it. If and when he does, you could always suggest as a supporter to hold on to his meds in your purse, this will offer him a support knowing that you know how important they are, also, you can suggest them when you know its time to eat, just not in front of other people. Maybe get to know his med dosages, I know how commited you are to the relationship yet, and I am not doubtful, but you have to prepare yourself for something big, this is a big part of his life, a daily routine he can NEVER let down, so getting to know his med dosages will help you just provide them at time of a meal instead of having to center him out in front of everyone as ask him how much he needs to take.

    I am currently in a serious relationship of 3 years, I did not tell the guy until 1 full year of dating, if I was sick, i would avoid his company, I could never sleep out because of my nebulizer, and I wouldnt take my medication around him. Its hard to cope, if you think, he may feel alone. I didnt have anyone in my family that understood because NO one had it. I had to figure it out all by myself.

    Also, Technology is constantly changing and I have huge hope, but when I was born I was given a life expectancy of about 30 years old, now its hard to get close to someone and love someone when you know that eventually you will leave them, against your will.

    Anyways enough blabbing, my suggestion is, let him open up to you, its not that you cant talk about it, you can always ask questions and be inquisative, Im sure him explaining what he has to do on a daily basis, may help him open up and it will ultimately bring you two closer together.

    I hope this helps
    Proud Mom of Triplets
    Born October 10th 2010

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