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My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless


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Old 01-11-2016, 11:58 AM   #1
Daniel1991
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My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

My dad fell ill during Christmas & it got to a point where he needed medical attention/advice considering how stubborn that man is refusing not to go, our local doctor said she is more than sure that my dad has cancer on the liver. He went in for a CT scan few days ago and will know the results next week, our doctors did say prepare for the worst.

After my mum, brother, and sisters heard this news they all pored out crying. When they told me, I was watching TV at the time. I waited till they explained in full, and that it didn't effect me like I thought it would have. Few days after hearing the news, my dad has lost a lot of weight & even thinned in the cheeks. His doctor did say he has something else to do with acid in the chest and he keeps being sick. (sorry for not knowing in full medical terms). Anyways she prescribed him some medicine to make him eat and take-away the acid so it'll make him feel better and be more comfortable.

I just don't know what to do, I feel hopeless and even Googled cures that can help him. I'm 24 yrs old and it may seem stupid, but I've had the odd tear here and there and I want to be strong. Is it normal to feel this way?

We have a holiday in end of July and the doctor did say it'll do him good. But, what I took from that is... so 'he'll last longer than 7 months?' Sounds horrible to think that, but the uncertainty of my dad is literally making me numb.

 
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Old 01-11-2016, 12:13 PM   #2
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

Hi. Everyone deals differently when they hear upsetting news. Personally, I don't look at a lack of crying as "being strong". I just feel that the news about Dad is hitting you in your own unique way, and that is perfectly okay.
I am so opposed to doctors giving a length of time for an illness to run its course. Yes, it's good so that your parents can get their affairs in order, if need be, but the truth is, there are millions of people who live many months to many YEARS after being told they "only have a certain amount of time".
Let me know what the CT scan reveals. I care.

 
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Old 01-14-2016, 12:09 PM   #3
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

Hello, thanks for replying. My dad has had the results, and unfortunately he has been diagnosed with stage 2 liver cancer, the good news however is that none of the cancer cells are in his bones or blood stream. I know, I shouldn't Google cancer survival rates etc,, but it's something I just needed to-do myself.

The survival rate of at-least 5 years is pretty comforting (not sure the accuracy), but most importantly, my dad is beginning to fight it, he is eating a lot more being the doctors nearly treated a cyst he had causing him to vomit when eating, and now that he's able to keep his food down, he's gained colour, gained energy to move around lot more, and overall feeling lot more better. Also the doctors did say that they can only think about operating when he has the strength too and that he is lacking fiber.

Myself and my family is feeling bit better knowing what my dad has been diagnosed with & how we're going to fight it with him.

 
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Old 01-14-2016, 12:16 PM   #4
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

I'm glad to hear that your dad is feeling better and wants to fight!
Do they want to do chemo?

 
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Old 01-20-2016, 03:30 PM   #5
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

Hello, thanks for the support, my mum & sister went up to the hospital today to hear the final test results, but with sad news to say, they've estimated my dad has about 3 months at most before he passes away. Doctors said the cancer is aggressive and has spread, and with his current condition any forms of surgery or medication could be fatal.

Came to a shock to me & the family, I was so optimistic that he'll fight the cancer and in fairness, I was in denial that anything will happen to him. It did hit me when my sister rang and told me the news like all of our family. Doctors are going to keep him in hospital for a few more days to build up his strength before he can be sent home, as my dad and us wanted him to be there for when the inevitable happens.

MacMillans cancer support & local GP will be visiting regularly to make sure he's getting the fluids down him and feeling comfortable etc. Feels scary on just how quick life goes by. I had strong memories thinking about this when I was around 13 yrs old, I've always feared losing a parent and now 24. I can't believe it's happening. No words to describe it.


Thinking of many memories flooding at me today. When you're young, you have no worries, you just played out after finishing school and enjoying life. I remember near enough every summer playing on my bike, water fights, and then heading home seeing my dad water the flowers whilst my mum was cooking tea, washing my clothes for school next day.

We've got a holiday booked end of July and we have decided to go ahead with it. My dad would want that for all of us, and being there are about 4-5 little ones coming along, we want them to enjoy a holiday for when they break up from school.

Anyways thanks for whoever shall be reading. And will post again soon.

Dan

Last edited by Daniel1991; 01-20-2016 at 03:31 PM.

 
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Old 01-21-2016, 02:53 AM   #6
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

My heart goes out to you. My own father fell last December of 2014 before Christmas and broke his back....he was already dx with Cancer and had been on chemo and all sorts of treatment for the past year...chemo makes the bones very brittle and when he fell, he really damaged himself.

He actually didnt die right away. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks, went to rehab where he really didnt do very well, came home and sat, immobilized for another ten days...then, he attempted to get up, tripped, fell, and went back to the hospital. This time, he broke his neck. He remained there until he passed away.

Im still dealing with 1000 emotions. Its hard not to be angry, that he his caregiver wasnt watching him to make sure he didnt fall again; and yet, the cancer was aggressive and we knew he didnt have much time left anyway...I had to get through this most recent christmas without him...it will be one year since he passed in another 6 weeks....some days are better than others, but nothing takes away the feelings that you describe. I have them too.

My best to you and your family...
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Old 01-21-2016, 06:38 AM   #7
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

I'm sorry to hear this.....use the time wisely.....and also don't give up hope.

 
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Old 01-22-2016, 05:05 AM   #8
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

Thanks for sharing, Daniel. I'm so sorry to hear the news. Your posts have made me cry and I want to offer a hug of support. I had a similar situation with my grandma, she kept hidden that she had bladder cancer years back. She was a smoker, and they told her to stop, but she didn't. Anywho, she feel ill which everyone thought was the flu. She went to the hospital two or three times, then the bad news came, they found cancer--and it was terminal. It was a big shock, probably just like you're going through. She died in 2012 and I miss her dearly. Cancer and heart disease are the big killers and I hate them. Just keep in mind, maybe you guys can seek a second opinion just to see what they say and if he is able to do chemo. Peace and love!

 
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Old 02-07-2016, 03:50 PM   #9
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

Hello, I'm not sure if its too soon to post being I've shared so much of the situation of my dad, and that the positive replies has been comforting. Around 7:30pm today my dad peacefully passed away. Obviously came to a shock being I only went out to my sisters to get my jacket back. 20 minutes in, my other sister rang saying 'come home'. Same words she said when I heard the news of my dad first getting diagnosed with cancer.

Unfortunately it came true, he passed away & most of the family was already there. My first post at first was how numb & emotionless I was feeling, but when I got there and saw my dad laying in his bed. I broke down and let it out. I'm happy that he passed away with one of his favourite songs playing and that there was a few family members already there seeing him.

We all said our goodbyes and for me, it's the first time seeing a passed away body. It did shake me a little, but I know it was my dad and that all he had suffered was gone which gave me and the family relief and now he can rest in peace. Love you dad x

I feel saddened that my dad bought my mum a new fridge-freezer which arrives Saturday 13th - same day as my nephews 11th birthday which he'll miss, but I know he'll be watching and that he's up their with his mum.

Anyways thanks so much for all of you. Wish you and your loved ones happiness and take care.

Dan

Last edited by Daniel1991; 02-07-2016 at 03:52 PM.

 
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Old 02-07-2016, 03:59 PM   #10
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

I'm sorry to hear that, Daniel. It's not easy, but know you can always post here. Rest in heaven for your father.

 
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Old 02-08-2016, 06:40 AM   #11
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Re: My Dad Is Terminally Ill. Feeling Drained, Numb, and Emotionless

oh Dan, I'm so very sorry.....I certainly wasn't expecting that.....so soon.
I'm glad he went peacefully, wasn't alone and had his music playing. Hugs to you and your family.

 
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