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My sweet nana died last night ...


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Old 08-14-2016, 10:09 PM   #1
Alwaysinmyheart
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My sweet nana died last night ...

It is about this time last night I received the call from my mom that my Nana had passed away. She had lung cancer. We found out she had it 10 months ago. She was misdiagnosed. At first, she was told she had pneumonia, and that kept being the diagnosis for months. Then cancer was found. It was a long battle, but I am so heart broken. She did not want any of her family (besides my mom and rarely my uncle) to see her in the condition she was. I saw her maybe 3 times during her battle. Because of this, it is so hard for me to grasp the fact that she is gone. it does not seem real to me. My mom had been slowly preparing me for it to happen.

In June, they thought she only had about 2 weeks left. I could not go see her and so I would text her, tell her I love her, and would just cry. Then, this past Thursday, she was told she had months to live. The next day, my mom was told she had 2 days. I have been crying my eyes out since then. When I got the call last night, I could not believe it. I had been crying all night before that, but I was in shock. It took about 20 minutes and then I could not stop crying.

My mom and stepfather were with her Friday night and around 3 am, my nana opened her eyes and was looking at my mom. She could not speak, she just looked at her. My mom moved around, and her eyes followed. My nana weakly grabbed and held my stepdads and mom's hands. This is about 24 hours before she passed. We believe that was her saying goodbye. I so wish I was there, but my mom said I would be shocked and would not be able to handle it.

I just miss her so much. She will be cremated but we are having a viewing tomorrow and while I am scared/don't want to go, I know I need to. I need closure. I know this isn't a question, I just need someone to talk to. Maybe similar situations, or advice on how to handle seeing the body. I saw my dads body when he passed when I was 11 (I am 24 now). But that was it. I don't want to touch my nana tomorrow, but again should I?

May her sweet, caring, beautiful soul rest in peace.

 
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Old 08-15-2016, 12:23 AM   #2
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Re: My sweet nana died last night...

My dear why ever would you be afraid to touch NaNa? It will be OK. Hun as soon as were born we begin to die, in the physical way. See your beautiful NaNa off from the world of sorrow. I believe she is with The Lordd, but thats just my personal faith. I too had to see my Gramma off . I miss her each & every day. Her birthday was t10th of thes month (August) she would have been 102! Blessings to you & yours belovd as you go thru this grief. They say time heals all wounds, but separation from our loved one is difficult. She must have been a wonderful NaN for you to grieve her so much. That is meant as a compliment. Love to you & yours.

 
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Old 08-15-2016, 02:52 AM   #3
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Re: My sweet nana died last night...

Whether you decide to "touch" her or not is totally up to you. Its scary and unnatural to touch someone who has passed...remember Nana is not 'there" only her body. Her spirit will be with you forever! If you decide not to touch her, its okay.....and if you decide you want to, that is ok too. Many people dont want to touch a body, but want to make some contact. Maybe just touching her blouse or dress will be enough. You'll know when you get there. You cant really plan for these things. As family, you will have extended time with her and after you reach a comfort level, you might change your mind. Go with whatever feels right.

What is important to remember is that lung cancer is a horrible disease and she didnt suffer for long, thank goodness. This is a blessing. She will never have pain again and she is in a place where she can rest in peace. The viewing is simply a place to say goodbye and you will do that however you see fit. Tell happy stories about her, celebrate her life and shed some tears....but when it is over, you want to remember her with a big smile. She would want this!

Best to you and your family. I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-15-2016, 07:12 AM   #4
Alwaysinmyheart
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Re: My sweet nana died last night ...

Thank you all for the kind words. It is tough because she was only 76, for my family- that is young! We have had family on her side live to be 101. MsNik, you made a great point. I am sitting here planning it out vs when I get there it'll be completely natural. I am scared to do it, but like I said I know I have to. Simply because it does not feel real to me. I need to see it. And, I can't be sheltered from death my whole life. The pain hits me in waves, some moments i'm ok, others I am not. It seems so far that night time is hard for me.

Lung cancer is a terrible disease, and she never smoked a day in her life. Cancer sure doesn't discriminate. She was pain free and passed peacefully, so that makes me feel some what better. My mom says she does not think she looked peaceful when she passed however because my mom knew how bad my nana did not want to die. She was not ready. She wanted see us get married, to meet her great grand kids. I can take comfort in knowing she saw us graduate college and get good jobs, so she left knowing we were headed in the right direction of life <3

 
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Old 08-15-2016, 07:43 AM   #5
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Re: My sweet nana died last night ...

So sorry for your loss.

Prayers to you and your family.

 
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Old 08-15-2016, 08:12 AM   #6
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Re: My sweet nana died last night ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by movielover40 View Post
So sorry for your loss.

Prayers to you and your family.

Thank you very much. I am going to the viewing today at 2:00 (eastern time). Nervous.

 
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