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  • Mom Jokes

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    Old 07-04-2006, 10:32 PM   #1
    Skateboard
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    Mom Jokes

    My mom passed away when I was 10 from lung cancer. I was really sad and depressed for about 3 weeks, and then things started to get better. I'm 15 now, and I've gotten over it. The only problem, is that when people make mom jokes to me and I dont laugh, it causes an akward situation. I'm afraid to tell them that my mom died. My friends are always happy and never put people down. The only problem is that they're putting me down, even though they dont know it. So that makes it harder to tell them about my mom.
    The worst situation was about 3 months ago, when I was sitting in lunch with 5 or 6 people. We all talked and ate, and then I asked 1 of my friends a question about how much homework we had in History (he has it before me). His response was worse than "a lot" it was instead, a mom joke. About 2 or 3 people at the table stared at me, because they were my closest friends and they already knew about my mom. The other 2 people kinda giggled and went on eating.

    What did I do?
    I looked down and didn't repeat the question. I felt akward and had a need to punch something really hard. Then everyone noticed my despressed state. I kinda just started eating afterward and there was a dead silence for about 2 unbearable minutes..

    That was the worst of the lot. It happens around 5 or 6 times a year, and I havn't done anything about it.

    How can I get enough guts to tell my friends how it is?

    When I want to, its not the right situation.. Everyone is usually happy, and me telling someone my mom died after they said a mom joke would make everyone sad and sorry for me (I dont want them to). Think about it. The jokster is expecting laughter and possibly an even more humerous response from me. He instead gets "My mom is dead..."

    Last edited by Skateboard; 07-04-2006 at 10:38 PM.

     
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    Old 07-06-2006, 10:37 PM   #2
    wishn
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    Re: Mom Jokes

    Keeping it vented when this happens is the very worse. It builds and when you are alone you think about it feeling worse. I have gone through the very same thing with my brothers death. I am much older then you, 49, but still feel the hurt and disappoint when there was a joke or remark. Remember, they do not know what happened, they are only being normal healthy young people. However, that doesn't mean it makes you feel any differently. I understand your feelings of saying, my mom died. It seems like everytime I felt compelled to say "My brother died" it brought on either silence or oh I am so sorry, how did it happen or other sad remarks. Depending on what you can do I strongly recommend talking to a therapist (not forever) but being able to vent and the professional will recommend things you have never even thought of. If this is not something you can do, research a good book that is self help on this. That is how I started and then decided on therapy. If you need a suggestion on good books just let me know and I will look up what I read. There are other books now, that are very informative and helpful. Especially work books that you can put your feelings in print, think through them and see what other people have done.

    I know it has been a difficult time for you losing your mom and sound very brave...and a very loving son. I'm sure you mom is looking down saying how proud she is of you.

    Annie.

     
    Old 07-15-2006, 12:10 PM   #3
    sleas
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    Re: Mom Jokes

    I lost my mom a year and a half ago. Although I am 36, I know how you feel. When co-workers and friends make remarks about their moms or argue with their moms and then say something bad about their moms, I want to tell them that they should feel lucky they still have their mom. It is human nature that we will not always get along with our parents and not see eye to eye, but I would give almost anything to have one more day with my mom. And I think it is hard for people to understand that until they have lost their mom or dad. Mom jokes are not funny when you don't have a mom.

     
    Old 07-18-2006, 08:22 PM   #4
    Angel77
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    Re: Mom Jokes

    Honey, from a mom to a boy who needs a hug from his mom, you need to tell them what is going on. You can do it matter of factly, when it's quiet and no mom jokes, just simply say, "I know you guys don't know, I didn't expect you to, but the mom jokes are really hard for me to take, because my mom passed away."

    And, yes, you will get sympathy, as every young man who lost his mom should. It's traumatic at any age, let alone a young one. I was 4 when my dad died and my mom died last year at the age of 46, I'm 29....and it is still hard. You will hurt for a long time. I still miss my parents and losing my dad at such a young age left a hole most will never grasp...and this is where your friends are at.

    Imagine, if you had a friend who had a situation like yours...would you rather know about it and stop the jokes or find out later and feel awful for the continued onslaught of mom jokes? I would prefer to know...besides, you're going to need a support system and your friends can't help you if they don't know.

    I wish you the best and I pray that you will get through this and have all the help you need.

    Is your family helful? Do you talk to anyone about your grief...seems obvious to me that you're still grieving...although I have a sneaky suspicion that you're just not saying anything to anyone. People love you and want to help but that can't help what is not acknowledged.
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    Old 07-20-2006, 10:12 PM   #5
    blondieblue98
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    Re: Mom Jokes

    I can totally relate to you! My dad died when I was 12 and my mom when I was 16; and the only thing that still bothers me is when people make "your momma" jokes. I am a pretty blunt person so if you don't already know my mom is gone I will let you know if you decide to say something about her; but for the most part people know and don't say things like that. A few have let things slip but mostly they catch themselves because they realize who they are talking to. Do you not feel comfortable telling people about your mom? If your not comfortable you could ask your friends to say something to those making jokes. It isn't right and it will only make the pain fester inside of you. I remeber the day after my mom died they made an announcement at my school since she worked there, they had taken me out of class before the announcement to try and comfort me. When I left the office most people just stared at me in disbelief, some asking why I was there (my answer: live my life before you judge my behaviors) but I remember these two freshman at the end of the hall snickering in their locker after I heard one say "good, that b***h needed to die..." Although I am not proud of my actions, I walked up behind them and slammed the locker door into their heads. I shouldn't have hurt them but they hurt me and it was at that point I started becoming more blunt. It sucks you have to go through this but I am so proud of you for overcoming what you have, it is so difficult dealing with loss of this magnitude but you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Keep your head up and know your mother is watching over you very proudly....

     
    Old 08-15-2006, 12:14 PM   #6
    Cartia
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    Re: Mom Jokes

    i agree that you should ask a friend to tell your other friends, or say something when there arent any mom jokes in the air. im 16, and my grandma died in april, and it saddens me whenever i hear someone saying how they dislike their grandparents. i didnt know either of my grandads and wish i had. however your friends find out, im sure theyll understand. its a really big thing to happen, and i hope youre coping well. you sound like a really nice, sensible guy and you deserve not to be uncomfy
    Amanda

     
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