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My grandma passed away

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Old 07-01-2007, 08:06 PM   #1
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My grandma passed away

Today was the viewing. I know my grandma wasn't the same person in her last years that she was when I was in junior high and before, but I still miss her. Of all her siblings, she was the only one that seemed to have any health problems - she had lung cancer, colon cancer, dementia and Parkinson's disease. I was upset to see the casket was open at the service because I really did not want one of the memories of my grandma to be her in a casket. It was just very depressing to see her like that, and even when everyone was there and going around socializing, I was fighting back tears.

I was close to my grandma when I was younger, and as much as I hate to say this, I think I was her favorite grandchild. She may not have always had the sweetest temper, but I still thought she was a great lady. And in thinking about dying, I just can't help but wonder if that's all it ever is - people mourning for a day or so and then going on with their lives, wondering if there is anything after death, not religion-based, but just in general. And, of course, I feel nervous thinking about when my own time will come. I know I'm still young and old age is many years off for me, but I know it goes just so fast and before you know it, you're gone. I just wonder if the life we live now is all we get...probably makes no sense.

I know my grandma always said she was afraid to die, but I guess, in a sense, it was best that she was not entirely aware of her surroundings because I hate to think she would have been scared in her final moments. As much as I miss her, all I can say is that she no longer suffers from the problems that plagued her in her final years, and for that I'm glad.

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Old 07-02-2007, 06:24 AM   #2
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Re: My grandma passed away

I'm sorry for the loss of your grandma. Grandma's are really special people.....cherish the good memories. In time you will find yourself smiling more when you think of her. She's out of her pain and in a better place.

Old 07-02-2007, 09:46 AM   #3
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Re: My grandma passed away

sorry about your grandmother... I think when we lose someone close to us..we cant help but look at our own it is normal for you to be thinking about your life and its inevitable ending...

my husband is dying from cancer and in preparing for his death, I am dealing with similar issues as you...and what you said make a lot of sense

I personally do not believe in "veiwings" and do not want one when my time comes... I guess we are all different though...some feel they need that closure but I like you dont want that to be my last image of someone..
i am scared now b/c my husband is here at home with hospice care...I know he will die here and I will have to see it... I truly wish I didnt..I really dont want to see him after he is gone...but I know I have no choice...
we have made his final arrangements ans are not doing a viewing as cancer has made him a shell of his former self...I dont think people who once knew him would believe what has happened to his body in just a short period of time... he started getting sick in December and was diagnosed in March...
it is now the beginning of July...he is only 47

my thoughts and prayers are with you for strength during this difficult time...just wanted you to know you are not alone in your thoughts..

take care

Old 07-02-2007, 09:44 PM   #4
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Re: My grandma passed away

I am so very sorry to hear about your grandmother. Viewings can be hard, but for many it brings closure. Your grandmother is a much better place free from any pain and tears.
I'm sending out a ((hug)) and my thoughts and prayers for you and your family

You need a big ((hug)) as well. Your reply brought me back to a few weeks ago when I was in your shoes...I remember feeling scared and not knowing at times what to do...seeing my father decline in health on a daily basis and dreading the day when he would pass.... As sick as my father was, I was not prepared for the night he passed on (I'm not sure if you ever really are)...but I feel very fortunate to have had that opportunity to share that experience with him. He passed in my living room (on my sofa couch, which he loved), surrounded by my sisters and brother and his sister...we played oldies on the radio, shared many laughs and tears and when he passed, it was his body giving a sigh of relief from all the suffering he endured over the last several months...there was nothing scary or dreadful about the experience as I thought...and even now when I sit in my living room, I can still feel the love filling the room. Many people don't have this opportunity to pass peacefully and it's one of the best gifts we can give to our loved ones. You're a strong woman and you can do this....and if you need to talk - I'll gladly listen
Lots of love for you both

Last edited by jeaniek; 07-02-2007 at 10:23 PM.

Old 07-02-2007, 11:03 PM   #5
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Re: My grandma passed away

I feel for all of you. When I was between 17-22, all my grandparents died as well as my 2 beloved cats I'd had since I was 3. It was a not so good few years there in that regard.

What I learned, among other things, is that ALL that matters is love. That you know your loved one felt they were loved, and that they gave their love to you and others concerned.

That really is all there is in the end, and all that matters - love.

Old 07-03-2007, 08:24 AM   #6
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Re: My grandma passed away

thank you jeanie for your kind words

Old 07-12-2007, 06:52 PM   #7
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Re: My grandma passed away - for snoopy

Hi Snoopy, I'm so sorry for your loss. Just remember that your grandma is in a better place now and is happier. At least you got the chance to be really close to her, I regret not being close to my grandparents. All my grandparents passed away already. I just have a question to ask you since I've been having this intense fear of dying which is known as thanatophobia and this is causing me to be depressed and my psychiatrist said that I'm suffering from ocd. It has been 17 months already since I've felt this. My question is, do you know why your grandmother was afraid of dying? My ocd/sickness now is out of control, when I see old people in their 80s and 90s, the thought that would cross my mind is "are they afraid of dying?" So do you think old people are afraid of dying? I hope you're feeling much better now and hope to hear from you soon.


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