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my husband is dying from cancer and it's so hard to deal with it!

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Old 06-17-2008, 01:14 PM   #1
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Unhappy my husband is dying from cancer and it's so hard to deal with it!

terry was dx last nov with stge 4 colon cancer. He had emergency surgery for a large tumor in his colon but still had more and also a mass in his abdomen. After healing he took 5 chemos but had trouble with blockages off and on. He got thinner and thinner. after the last one he had a bad blockage and had to be hospitalized for 5 days. He hasn't been eating much and this only made it worse. He seems to have just gone downhill in the last few weeks and now I've lost all my hopes. I had to call hospice because he fell 4 times trying to get to the bathroom. They were good and brought a hosp. bed and comode so he has an easier time but they gave me a book about end stages and he hasthe symptoms. He wont eat enough to keep a bird alive and is so weak. He just sleeps all the time and is getting disoriented. it's so hard to watch. He is my soul mate-together almost 20 years and so happy together. We are both 55 and I don't want to give him up yet and I feel this deperation like maybe I should take him to the hosp. Hospice says sometimes that is not good to put him on IV because it can cause fluid around the heart. I am just so frustrated. Seems like we had hope and now it's hopeless.I quess we would be just prolonging the inevitable. He doesn't understand what is happening to him. It is so sad. Wouldn't wish this on anyone and can't beleive it's happened to us.

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Old 06-17-2008, 03:06 PM   #2
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Re: my husband is dying from cancer and it's so hard to deal with it!

It happened to my husband and me 19 months ago. He was dx with esophageal cancer in Nov. 2004 and passed away Nov. 2006. We were together 36 years, he was 59. I know what you're going through and how difficult it is. Hospice is correct, there is no point sending him to the hospital. Let Hospice make him comfortable and he will be there with you when the end comes. I didn't think I could do it either, but when the time came I just held him and told him it was ok to go. He was disoriented too and I don't know if he heard me or understood, but it made me feel better. I don't know why these things happen, no one does, but you'll come through it a stronger person. I'm here if you want to talk. Take care and I send you (((((hugs)))))).

Old 06-18-2008, 09:28 AM   #3
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Re: my husband is dying from cancer and it's so hard to deal with it!


I am so sorry this is happening to you and your dear husband. I have been through the same exact thing, but not with a spouse (my mother had stage IV colon cancer that spread, I loved her more than anyone in this world). It is good that you have Hospice there to talk to and to help make your husband as comfortable as possible.

Continue to show him you love him and comfort him as much as you can. You may be surprised at the inner strength you have at certain times. It is helpful to know that Hospice will be there to assist you both every step of the way. They are like angels on earth.

(((((more hugs)))))


Old 06-25-2008, 01:49 PM   #4
Cat Az
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Cat Az HB User
Re: my husband is dying from cancer and it's so hard to deal with it!

I'm so sorry for what you and your husband are going thru. I hope and pray that those close to you and your husband are there for you. You'll be in my prayers. I wish I could take his pain away and heal him.

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