It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Death & Dying Message Board

what to watch for in days before

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-23-2008, 05:27 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 24
babydreams HB User
what to watch for in days before

my mom hasent been sick for long at all. she started having trouble with leg and back pains 3 months ago thats it her dr. told her it was cronic arthritis since then she got worse slowly this started in april by june she was in a wheel chair and couldnt walk far on her own dr. did a mri end of may and came back in june showing cancer so they started doing all test x rays, more mri,s bllod work everything and couldnt find where the cancer was it wasent in the blood they said nor the bone then they told us maybe there isent any cancer this was beginning of july this month. then 11 days ago she couldnt move her 1 leg so i took her to er and they did 1 x ray and bllod work and told me next day that cancer is all through her liver, pancre and gallbladder and now bones ad is breaking bones..they also told me that she only has a couple weeks left its so unfair we didnt even know she was sick untill 3 months ago and now she wont be with us soon she may only have days up to about a week left now. how can dr,s do the same test over and over and not ind anything and then someone else does the same test once and find all that im so mad. 2-3 days ago i noticed she is starting to hallucinate more, sleeps all the time, hardly any pee now constant diarea, she is very jaundiced , not eating or drinking much any more she has the odd sip here and there cause her mouth is so dry and they said she is dehydrated. but not eating. yesterday she said to me while she was awake i just saw the most beautyful red balloons. oh and its hard to understand her now this has been for a few days now its like marbles in her mouth

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 07-23-2008, 08:47 AM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: connecticut
Posts: 81
Marie1973 HB User
Re: what to watch for in days before

Hi I'm sorry you're going through all this with your mom.This is a little like what happened to my dad when he went into the hospital last month.
First they said it was pneumonia,then it wasn't.Then he had a blood clot,then he didn't.Then they though he had diabetes-but he doesn't-just a big confused mess.
ER's are so crazy busy most times-I guess this stuff just happens-not that it should.

Like your mom,my dad was given 2 weeks to live when we left the hospital on June 8th.He's still here & with it.
He's gone through alot of what your mom has.The sleeping all the time,hardly peeing,not eating or drinking-a few times where I thought-this must be it.But he keeps coming back.I think it's all up to the individual and when they are ready.Only God really knows.

There was a few times when my dad was sleeping all day,urine getting darker & not eating anything but ice cream.
The last few days he's up more than not,he urine is getting lighter again and he ate a few hard bolied eggs and a donut this morn.

Like the hospice nurse said-the body is a marvelous thing.Sometimes it just corrects itself.It's pretty amazing.
So we're just taking it one day at a time.That's all you really can do.He's not 100% better-far from it.He keeps going up and down.He's weak,getting weaker and still has that pallor color.
But everything is in God's time.When He's ready,He'll call us.

Did they refer you to hospice?

Old 07-23-2008, 10:10 PM   #3
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Katonah, NY
Posts: 49
blueeyes62 HB User
Re: what to watch for in days before

I went through the same thing with my mother. My mother woke up one morning in 2/06 feeling very dizzy and faint. My father took her to the ER, they did a blood test and told her that she had vertigo and sent her home. Seven months later the same thing happened again except she started seeing double vision, my father brought her to the ER and right away they did an MRI and it showed that she had many tumors in her brain. They really didn't know where the tumors wer coming from. They did a chest xray and that was normal. When they did a chest cat scan that is when they found a tiny lesion on her left lung, but they didn't think that the brain tumors were coming from there. What really stinks is my mother always went for her yearly physicals. The last one she had done was in 7/06 and she was told that she was very healthy. When they found the tumors in her brain, they told us that she had Stage IV Lung Cancer, which she didn't even have any symptoms of it. The doctors really weren't concerned about her lung, they were more concerned about the tumors in her brain. She had to have 15 radiation treatments to her brain and then have another scan. When they did the next scan it showed that her brain was clear. Her oncologist wanted her to have 6 months of chemo. She had all of her chemo treatments, her doctor said that she was responding so well to the treatments that he had stopped them. Not even being off the chemo for one week she started having severe pain in her jaw on the left side, she said that it felt very numb. She couldn't eat, sleep or even hardly talk. It was also so swollen. Her oncologist told her that it was inflammation, but it wasn't cancer. He put her on an antibiotic, but it didn't help, then he told her to go see her dentist. She went to the dentist and he said that everything was fine with her teeth. He then sent her to an oral surgeon and he told her that it was osteocronosis of the jaw. H e said that some patients get this from taking a certain chemo drug, so her oncologist took her off this chemo drug, but my mother wasn't getting any better. She was in so much pain, so then he gave her a poain patch and that didn't even help. We noticed that after she had the radiation treatments to her brain she started developing dementia, she was told that it was a side effect from the radiation. Well it wasn't getting any better. She was gettin wose with the jaw and the dementia. In 5/07 she had a massive stroke, the worst you could ever have. We just got her to the hospital to get this special shot. She did okay with the shot, but I noticed that she really wasn't herself. While she was in the hospital with the stroke her oncologist had another oral surgeon look at her jaw and he didn't like the looks of it, so he told my father to bring my mother in when she gets out of the hospital. My mother went to see this second oral surgeon, he did a special test on her and it showed a massive tumor in her jaw. We were all devistated. The only treatment was radiation for the pain. After she was done with the radiation treatments she started getting severe pain in her lower back. It was so bad she couldn't sleep or anything, so they did another pet scan and it showed that the cancer was in her L2 and L3 and it was back in her chest again. The only treatment was radiation to her hip. My mother tried to take all her treatments, she couldn't take the last two she was in so much pain and could barely move. The doctors told my family that there was nothing more they could do for her. Shen started not really eating or drinking anymore and was in so much pain. She was hallucinating very badly, we thought that it was from her medication. Then she told us that she was losing control of going to the bathroom. She was so weak and losing so much weight. We could barely pick her up to get her to the bathroom. She looked so dehydrated, so we brought her to the hospital this was on Friday 7/13/07. She had been given IV's. We thought that she was just dehydrated, when we saw that they weren't taking the IV's out, we knew that something wasn't right. She also had a catheter in her, because she was told that she had a urinary tract infection. She was given antibiotics for that, but it turned out not to be an infection. It was that her body was starting to shut down. One day her oncologist said that my mother was stable and then the next day he told my father that my mother was lucky if she had 2 weeks left. We had her transferred to a Cancer hospital, she was there for four days and then had passed away. It was th mist devistating thing in my life. I still can't believe that she is gone. She was my best friend. We were with each other every day and did everything together. She passed away on 7/28/07 at the age of 70. I still keep saying that it isn't fair. Here was a very healthy woman that took care of herself. I do remember that my mother did tell me one day that she didn't feel right inside. She new that something was wrong with her. She even went to her primary care physician who is also a pulmnologist and she told her that she was stressed from taking care of her 89 yr. old mother at the time. She had put my mother on antideppresants and she also told my mother that she had anxiety. And that was not the right diagnoses. I am so angry with those doctors. I just wish that they caught it sooner and maybe she would be here today. I miss her so much. Blueeyes

Old 07-24-2008, 12:08 AM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 258
carken HB User
Re: what to watch for in days before

Marie, my father is responding somewhat like yours. He's 88 years old and has been under hospice care in a nursing home since Feb., with renal cell carcinoma, lung cancer, and bone cancer. Almost three weeks ago, the hospice nurse told us he was "in decline", and he definitely seemed worse to us. In fact, he told both me and my step-mother that "something was happening in his body."

Since that time he has been better and he as been worse. He hallucinates,is incoherent most of the time, and continuously tries to get out of the bed which results in falling, since he's not been able to stand on his own all this time.

My father is a retired pastor, and reading the Bible has been a part of his daily routine all his life. How he lies in the bed with his mind idle all day and all night. He has literally been tormented by some his own realitites that weren't reality at all. My daughter suggested we get Max MacLean's audio Bible on cd for him. I ordered it and took it along with an inexpensive little boom box to him this afternoon. He could only say, "It's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I put on Matthew and within 15 minutes he was asleep. 45 minutes later he was still sleeping soundly, so I sneaked away. God's Word has a calming effect.

Old 07-24-2008, 11:10 AM   #5
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 43
Twiddles HB User
Re: what to watch for in days before

Hi Blueeyes,

I can sure relate to how you feel about your mother's death. I had nearly the same thing happen with my mother almost 2 years ago. She was one of those people who always took care of herself. She never missed her yearly mammogram or pap smear, had the colonoscopy to screen for cancer, had blood work every 6 months, and everything was always normal. She began to have a little abdominal discomfort, nothing really major, just some mild abdominal pain and a little nausea but not enough to keep her from doing her normal activities. Her doctor said it was most likely gall bladder, and they scheduled her for a minor surgery to remove her gall bladder laparoscopically.

She had her minor surgery on Feb. 1, 2006. She woke up from anesthesia thinking her problems were over, but instead found out that they didn't even remove her gall bladder. She was so full of cancer, they just terminated the surgery. She was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer which had pretty much spread everywhere. They told her she had 2 to 6 months to live, and she died 3 weeks later. It was the most horrible thing I've ever been through. I just couldn't believe that someone could be that near death and have no symptoms. I grieved so hard and for such a long time. My Mom was so special to me. Losing her was, I thought, the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

Until June 27, 2008. Just one month ago my husband and I found out that my hubby, Dave, has stage IV renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer) that has spread to both kidneys, both adrenal glands, both lungs, and the lymph nodes in his chest. And, like my Mom, no symptoms until it is too late to do anything about it!! He started losing weight pretty fast and was tired, but we thought it was due to stress. That went on for about 2 months, and he lost 30 pounds. He developed a cough that wouldn't go away, and the doctor did a chest x-ray then a CT scan, and then we got the horrible news. So....I was just now beginning to get over losing my mom, and now I find out I'm losing my husband. I thought nothing could be worse than losing my Mom, but this is worse. He's started Torisel, a new drug for advanced kidney cancer, and his mouth is full of sores, and he's just in agony. Seeing him miserable is horrible for me. My heart is just in a million pieces. My mind is torn in a thousand different directions. So many decisions to make, so much to worry about. And here, just a month ago, we were dreaming about what we'd do when Dave retires, etc. It's amazing how much life can change in one day.

All I can say is just let you know that you are not alone. There are many people out here who are coping with situations like yours. It is comforting to know that others care. Wrap yourself up in the love from your friends and family, and most of all, pray for strength to get through this. Hang in there, and just take one a time. You will be okay. It is going to be hard, but you will survive this. My prayers are with you.


Old 07-27-2008, 03:10 PM   #6
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 24
babydreams HB User
Re: what to watch for in days before

thank you everyone but sadly my mom passed away this morning i was sleeping in her room at the hspital and i noticed she started panting at 4:30am i got the nurse who said to me even though she is having breathing changes she might still have days left i knew that wasent the case 5 mns later i couldnt hear it any more and had a bad feeling so i checked her and i couldnt see her breathing the nurse came in and cheked her puse then closed her eyes and said im sorry. i came home yesterday afternoon for a few hrs and had a brief sleep and i had an odd dream that i was running out side in an open field and a gust of wind came and started blowing me up to the sky even though i was dreamng this i could actually feel my chest and heavy pressure as I was getting higher in the sky i got scared from the pressure i was actually feeling that i awoke and something told me t go back and let it take me all the way up so i did and when i got to the same piont again i felt that pressure in my chest but i kept going and it got tighter but then when i was all the way up in the sky the pressure was gone and i felt this peace i was just floating and then i awoke and my

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
TKR - what it would have helped to know beforehand. Grumpyathome Knee & Hip Problems 17 10-14-2012 10:18 AM
Husband and I are debating on what makes a woman happier.... ctnc1234 Relationship Health 30 04-19-2010 12:34 AM
what is diff between hepc natural cause and trans fusion dinnon Hepatitis 5 09-15-2009 08:06 PM
Not sure what to do.. (very long relationship issues.) J712 Relationship Health 17 10-30-2007 05:21 AM
Blaming in the relationship - what's your opinion lambswool Mental Health 3 03-12-2007 08:41 PM
whose to blame - what's your opinion lambswool Relationship Health 12 02-21-2007 12:31 PM
What's Safe at Thanksgiving free2be Weight Loss 8 11-23-2005 08:38 AM
I ran out of meds-tell me what to do now StMishl Pain Management 8 03-22-2005 07:49 AM
It's always about everyone else and what they want to do why does it seem like that? Kari7171 Relationship Health 12 03-01-2004 05:05 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:22 AM.

Site owned and operated by™
© 1998-2018™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!