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My dad is 81 and does not know he is dying of Lung cancer

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Old 07-11-2009, 06:44 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2009
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Pinetree001 HB User
My dad is 81 and does not know he is dying of Lung cancer

My dad is 81 and was diagnosed with Lung cancer yesterday. He was not told as he is very weak cannot speak due to paralised vocal cords and has diminished understanding. He is aware of his suroundings and can respond to instructions. I cannot ignore his illness and I am sure he can see my grief. Not sure what to do next

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Old 07-11-2009, 10:00 AM   #2
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cherie57 HB User
Re: My dad is 81 and does not know he is dying of Lung cancer

I'm sure he knows something is wrong.
Hold his hand and say a prayer for strength.
Even if he may not understand all that you say-talk with him-tell him.

hope this helps.......


Old 07-12-2009, 07:19 AM   #3
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kevpark HB User
Re: My dad is 81 and does not know he is dying of Lung cancer

as a new friend, i wish to send you a hug of comfort. give your dad and hug or kiss and tell him you love him. let him know. let him feel valuable even when hes sick. let him know hes not a burden, even if his dying naturally is. let him know how special he is.

you sound like a special person too. any dad would be lucky to have such a caring daughter as you are.

believe me that my best wishes are, even now, being send to you.

Old 10-24-2009, 08:40 PM   #4
Calif. guy
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Calif. guy HB User
Re: My dad is 81 and does not know he is dying of Lung cancer

Hello, Pinetree001.

First off, I'm very sorry for your father's current health and my prayers go out to him and yourself.

You're going to be a state of confusion and probably euphoria due to this, which is perfectly understandable as we love our parents and it's only natural to get worried over their health.

The reason you mentioned his speaking disorder is probably due to what his reaction might be if you told him, and how he wouldn't be able to express himself as normally as you would be able to in this kind of situation so he would freak out or faint. This might happen depending on his reaction to the news. I can't say for sure how he'll react since you obviously know him better than I, so it's up to you to decide if he should know or not.

My brother told me this story of his Japanese friend who's father was in the same health as yours right now and how his friend didn't tell his father he had it, leading to his survival and thus recovery from the illness - this could have been made up, but I am not sure. He said that this was the way of the Japanese, it was a tactic to save loved ones, and like I said, as for it's legitimacy, a quick Google search would probably be useful.

You love your father, you want to do everything you can for him, and you're now at the point of decisions and choice making - which is the most important stage of this process and also the conclusion of it.

I bid you farewell and all the jazz and take care.

Old 10-24-2009, 11:44 PM   #5
winner mary
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Re: My dad is 81 and does not know he is dying of Lung cancer

Really all you can do is make him comfortable, give him lots of love and enjoy your time together. I will pray for you

Old 10-29-2009, 06:21 PM   #6
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Re: My dad is 81 and does not know he is dying of Lung cancer

Dear Pine Tree,
I've been in your shoes with my parents. I suggest you talk to your father's doctor and ask him when/if you should tell your father about his condition. See what the doctor says as to what and when you should tell your father about his illness. I would take what the doctor says and then make a decision, and come up with a plan.
I wish I could give you a hug. Hang in there.
Keep us posted.
Take care.

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