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    Old 04-21-2011, 02:57 PM   #16
    matthewbradey
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by EagleRiverDee View Post
    The unknown aspect of dying is what scares me the most. I have my beliefs...but you don't really KNOW where you're going after life. So yeah, that's hard.
    it is the unknown that scares me too. if, after life, there is nothingness, then that is not so terrifying, since we won't even know that we don't exist! if that is what happens, you could almost say that we never die, because we are never conscious of anything after life. but, like you said, we don't know that. or, we could "go somewhere" absolutely wonderful, --but we don't know if that either. it's the "not knowing" that is scarey. and, of course, there is always the prospect of experiencing something very unpleasant after life--and that is very terrifying to me as i said before.

    i am new here, and i just noticed that i "jumped in" on this discussion on page 3 without even having read pages 1 or 2! stupid me! i didn't even know pages 1 and 2 existed! --anyway, i now have read all of your posts and thank each and every one of you for your kind and thoughtful comments. they have all been very helpful to me. i will keep reading your posts and getting more acquainted with this site and with you all. thanks again. --newbie!

    Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-21-2011 at 08:23 PM. Reason: added second paragraph

     
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    Old 04-22-2011, 03:09 AM   #17
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    I have been practicing my Catholic faith much more lately and I am finding that I am not as afraid of death with my increased devotion to my faith.

     
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    Old 04-22-2011, 06:27 PM   #18
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    You are right the not knowing is what is scary, but that is where your faith comes in. As someone said not too long ago: 'You don't fear God, you fear his judgment.' Again, growing up in a very Catholic house and losing your parents very young is not a good combination for feeling safe and secure. I remember when I was 13 and my Mother had passed away I remember asking 'Is Mom really in Heaven?? Well, Honey no one has ever come back and said.... Wow!!!! Can anyone really be surprised that I have issues???? But, I can honestly say that since I have grown older I search for comfort in God's word rather then the advise of others who really have no idea..... One thing that is also certain, is we all have too find our own means of comfort to overcome this scary thing called Death............

     
    Old 04-22-2011, 06:54 PM   #19
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    Somehow we must all find our way to peace of mind and comfort. I constantly try and break away from the voices of the past that offered no comfort at all. Even as I write this I imagine that I am as strong as I feel. I pray to GOD that he will be with me most in my hour of need.......

     
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    matthewbradey (04-23-2011)
    Old 04-22-2011, 07:22 PM   #20
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    wwwgirl, it's uncanny you should say that: Sometimes i have gone to the Catholic church here in town. I find it very comforting with the icons and rituals and prayers and liturgies, etc. Let's just say it is very different from the church i grew up in which emphasized a kind of easy grace--(too easy--not real?) and from the church i go to now with its emphasis on good works and social justice (nothing wrong with that but sometimes i wonder, "What would it be like to belong to 'the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, the true Church of Christ' with its sacraments and rituals and rites and traditions?" In other words, i wonder, "What would it be like to be able to actually receive the Eucharist, or to go to confession and to formally receive forgiveness for personal sins from the priest, or to be told what to do for penance??" I bet it would make a big difference!)

    I know you may not have meant to imply, "Become Catholic". But it is weird, I have been entertaining just that idea for quite some time. Maybe i will, at least, start going back to the Catholic Church more regularly, even though i know i can't participate in certain things. It is still comforting, and maybe it will lead somewhere! Thanks for your reply.

    Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-22-2011 at 08:50 PM. Reason: to make clear who i am addressig

     
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    Old 04-22-2011, 07:27 PM   #21
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wwwgirl View Post
    I have been practicing my Catholic faith much more lately and I am finding that I am not as afraid of death with my increased devotion to my faith.
    It's uncanny you should say that: Sometimes i have gone to the Catholic church here in town. I find it very comforting with the icons and rituals and prayers and liturgies, etc. Let's just say it is very different from the church i grew up in which emphasized a kind of easy grace--(too easy--not real?) and from the church i go to now with its emphasis on good works and social justice (nothing wrong with that but sometimes i wonder, "What would it be like to belong to 'the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, the true Church of Christ' with its sacraments and rituals and rites and traditions?" In other words, i wonder, "What would it be like to be able to actually receive the Eucharist, or to go to confession and to formally receive forgiveness for personal sins from the priest, or to be told what to do for penance??" I bet it would make a big difference!)

    I know you may not have meant to imply, "Become Catholic". But it is weird, I have been entertaining just that idea for quite some time. Maybe i will, at least, start going back to the Catholic Church more regularly, even though i know i can't participate in certain things. It is still comforting, and maybe it will lead somewhere! Thanks for your reply.

    Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-23-2011 at 08:31 PM.

     
    Old 04-22-2011, 08:01 PM   #22
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    [QUOTE=linda1958;4737689]Somehow we must all find our way to peace of mind and comfort. I constantly try and break away from the voices of the past that offered no comfort at all.

    I can see how your strict Catholic upbringing was not helpful to you when you lost your parents at a young age! The things we were told at a very young age! I was told very unhelpful things, too, as i mentioned earlier. it's almost impossible, if not impossible, to get those voices and those beliefs out of our spirits. it's like our spirit was broken back then. Sometimes religion can be almost be abusive, i think, to a child. One thing I like about the church i go to now, --a believers' church where only adults are baptized--is that they don't generally tell kids such things. When they are older, they make up their mind--(or not. That's the risk, I guess). But by the time they are older, these beliefs, are much more reasonable--that is, they include a healthy doubt and skepticism that should be part and parcel of belief.

    Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-23-2011 at 08:26 PM.

     
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    Old 04-24-2011, 11:47 PM   #23
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    i fear death as well. it just really gets to me. its really hard for me sometimes to not think bout it. i just dont know whats gonna happen to me.

     
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    Old 04-25-2011, 07:14 PM   #24
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    The reality is that none of us is ever going to know what death brings until we go through it, so again what brings me comfort is my faith in God. As it does not remove all of my
    fears it brings me some sense of comfort. The unknown is always scary, but I would rather die believing in God not knowing if he exist, then to die and wonder 'what if he does,' and then it is to late. Have faith and just look around at this wonderful planet we live on (minus the politicians,) and ponder the question; Could this all have come together without Divine Intervention???? So please have faith......

     
    Old 04-26-2011, 08:26 PM   #25
    matthewbradey
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by WhenItRains View Post
    Well I think a lot of people who are big into religion are afraid of death because religion is so doom and gloom.I was raised Catholic,but I don't practice anymore.I do believe in a GOD,and I do pray,but as far as the bible and stuff goes,it never helped me have faith.It only made me more fearful.

    When I started to look at death through a spiritual and scientific way,I started becoming less scared of dying.Think of how many planets there are.So many galaxies,and we don't even know how many universes.Life and death to me is not just heaven and hell.Nothing is ever black or white.

    There is this theory and belief that energy never dies,it just changes form.And that is what I believe.
    I don't want to die in a gross or painful way,that kinda scares me.But what lies beyond does not scare me.

    To me,a true,loving God will not punish good people for no reason.Just my take on it.

    there is just so much we don't know. science has only skimmed the surface of reality. reality is both wonderful and terrible. and we are thrown into the middle of it-- i, personally, am not complaining-- but it's like, we are just here. i am very skeptical of those who say that they know what is going on. yes, i think that it's more than just heaven and hell, too.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by linda1958 View Post
    Have faith and just look around at this wonderful planet we live on (minus the politicians,) and ponder the question; Could this all have come together without Divine Intervention???? So please have faith......
    i am thinking about it

    Last edited by matthewbradey; 04-26-2011 at 09:05 PM. Reason: insert quote

     
    Old 04-26-2011, 10:35 PM   #26
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

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    Originally Posted by wwwgirl View Post
    Hey everyone. I am absolutely terrified of death. I am always afraid that if some deity exists, that he/she is punishing me. I am terrified of dying because I don't want to experience the pain but I also don't want to be punished in the afterlife. I am a former hard-core Catholic and well, I am just terrified of what may happen in the next life. I am trying to get over this and I am in therapy but it just worries me so much.

    Plus, I have several serious health problems. I have often wondered if I don't have cancer though no signs have been found yet. I go to my doctors almost constantly in the frantic hope that they will find what is wrong and can treat it before I die of it.

    I suffer from Fibromyalgia among other problems. I am trying to eat more healthy, trying to quit smoking, etc etc. I know there is something bad wrong with me and I just want to heal myself or reverse this process before I am suffering so much that I can't stand it.

    I already suffer quite a bit, both psychologically and physically. I have major depression, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks so that doesn't help much.

    I am trying absolutely everything that I can and can afford to make my health better. I don't want to die at 28. I want to live to at least 65 or 70. Unfortunately, I don't see myself making it past 35 and never really have.

    My family history is like a world record book when it comes to serious problems. I mean, my older sister who died before she turned 3 had a very rare heart defect. It was Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Only half of her heart was going. She died shortly before her 3rd birthday. This was 2 or 3 months before I was born. What makes it even more rare is that this defect most commonly affects male infants.

    I just absolutely terrified and I was wondering if any of you knew of any resources that could help me cope?

    I plan to begin attending a United Church of Christ again (I'm a member of one and I feel they are much more open minded than my previous churches) this Sunday but to be honest, I don't really believe in faith healing anymore. I believe God can heal if he wants to. That is, of course, dependent on whether or not he exists and I don't know about that.

    But yeah, if you all could please support me, and talk to me, I'd appreciate it.

    Don't worry about saying the wrong thing or whatever. I am a very understanding person. Thanks.
    Have you ever heard of National Alliance Mentally Ill? They have support groups all over the US. Find a local chapter and join one. They have different groups that deal with different kinds of mental health issues and other topics. What beliefs did you have about God when you went to the Catholic church ? Why do you have doubts whether God really exists or not ? I think even people who believe in God sometimes have a fear of death and dying. I believe that we fear more of the unknown and the pain and suffering we might have to endure during the dying process. Hospice care helps those people who have terminal diseases who have a life expectancy of six months or less certified by a doctor. They can determine how they want to live out their last months of life by how much pain medications they want to be given to control their pain where they want to spend their last months and who they may want to be with them during their last days and hours. I have been with several patients when they have taken their last breaths and it's very peaceful. I think most of us fear of dying all by ourselves with no family or friends near our side when we take our last breaths of life here on earth. I do think though that those of us who believe in God and heaven have an easier time of letting go of life here on earth because we know that we are going to a much better place with no disease,pain and no suffering and we will be with God and his angels for eternity. I have seen this peaceful expression on their faces when someone dies that knows that they are going to be with God for eternity. My adopted grandma actually had a smile on her face when I saw her several hours after her death had occurred. No scowl or frown or any sign she had been in any distress before she died. That me feel so relieved because my prayer for her was to just go to sleep and not wake up and that's what happened. I don't know if you ever been with someone when they took their last breath of life or not ,whether you could even consider volunteering with hospice patients that have no family or friends to be near their side during their last hours of life. You wouldn't have to say anything to them but sit next to them and just hold their hand or stroke their forehead or just place your hand on their arm gently just to let them know someone is there with them and they care and don't want them to be all alone. Many hospice programs and even some hospitals are looking for volunteers just to do that. Maybe that would help you to relieve some of your fear of death. I am a home health aide and care for those hospice clients everyday and sometimes it makes me so sad that I have to leave a client when they are so close to death and they have no one to be with them during their last hours of life. That is heartbreaking to see but unfortunately I have to leave and go on to my next client. I wish that I could stay with them.

     
    Old 05-07-2011, 09:30 PM   #27
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    I am a christian, I do beleive in God, but that dont mean Im afraid to die, that is human. The Bible has stood the test of time everything in it has came true. I have had panic attacks for a year and death was all I thought of and it can be scary. I have been around alot of my family, that has taken their last breath. God has taken alot of sickness away from me, I have also had a guardian angel sent, wish I could tell you the whole story. When my mom passed she was a child of God she said she wasnt scared of death but she was of dying. God gives us dying Grace and she proved it to me. So at last she had a massavie heart attack went into a coma. BUT as I sat there she was talkin to all my loved ones who had gone on before, I tell ya I had cold chills, she told her mother."Wait for me Im coming, just stand by the river!!! It was so amazin she explained the beauty of Heaven. Then last year by brother had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital and they brought him back, and he said I have always feared death but not anymore, he said it was like he went to sleep then all of a sudden there was a bright light and all these people were around him just talkin. I could never make it thru this life with My LOrd and my faith. I have saw miracles. My thoughts are when God wants to take us home he will, and not until then.
    Panic attacks are so bad, my advice is search your heart and make peace. We were born to die its a part of life its how we deal with it. I wish you the best of luck

     
    Old 11-05-2011, 05:06 PM   #28
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    Re: I am so terrified of death

    Denis leary once said.. "I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying."


    i got health issues so when im depressed i always think of that. i understand..

     
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