It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Death & Dying Message Board

Dad died, how to cope with funeral?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-28-2010, 04:32 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 65
AnnaKaren HB User
Dad died, how to cope with funeral?

I'm 51 years old, lost my mother to lung cancer nearly 10 years ago, an aunt 6 months after that and now my dad. He had vascular dementia and was 91, this was expected. It's just the end stage was so fast, maybe 3 weeks.

He was very physically fit, could walk, etc. First week of Nov. difficulty swallowing, pocketed food, become totally incontinent, failure to thrive. Nursing home called in hospice on the 18th, I was able to speak to him up till the very last visit. He was only bedridden less than two days.

I am an only child and have been expecting this, I know he's lucky end stage was swift. I was always closer to mom so thought I could "handle" this. When I got the call in the middle of the night I was calm, 12 hours later nausea, stomach pain, racing heart. I did not expect this.

Any thoughts on how to get through funeral tomorrow? Very small, not much family left, from funeral home to cemetery and that's it, but I feel I am losing my mind. I did have post stress 6 months after mom's death and have been through the worst at death beds, why this now? I just panic at the thought of tomorrow. Would a Xanax help?

Thanks for listening.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 11-30-2010, 02:26 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Oak Hill, VA
Posts: 3,503
ibake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB Useribake&pray HB User
Re: Dad died, how to cope with funeral?

I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. The funeral is now done and you have had to go it alone. I too was an only child when I lost my dad to vascular dementia and an abdominal aoritic anuerism. I lost my mother 5 weeks later-she had alzheimers. I don't know what to tell you except that as hard as it is, it will get better. Not quickly, you will have flare ups of crying fits for awhile. It's been three years since I lost them and I am just getting to the point where I can talk about it and not tear up-most times. Hang in there-and you will get better.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Today is 11 months since my son died jasonsmommy Death & Dying 5 12-05-2009 05:14 PM
Mother died and confessed wmarie Relationship Health 23 07-12-2009 10:44 AM
grandmother who i never met died shorti Death & Dying 7 05-04-2009 06:01 PM
I need some advice, My mother died about a month ago Carl F Death & Dying 1 11-17-2008 01:41 PM
My father just died and I feeling so sad and confused. heatherton Grief & Loss 16 09-18-2008 04:48 AM
My daddy died wanderingsoul53 Death & Dying 9 08-25-2007 12:11 PM
New to board, My dad died 5 days ago, Need Help NOW muggle_mama26 Death & Dying 9 03-04-2007 05:51 PM
My auntie died and I feel guilty dale2004 Death & Dying 1 10-23-2005 05:35 PM
My son died last night and I feel like dying too... housemum Panic Disorders 16 12-23-2003 08:51 AM
my husband Don, died mrsdlash Cancer: Lung 17 07-05-2003 04:52 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:33 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!