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Just lost my brother

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Old 04-26-2012, 10:38 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Just lost my brother

My brother's been dead about a week now. He was only 37 and he had a heart attack. I'm 29 and I've already buried all of my grandparents, both of my parents, a friend of mine, and now my only sibling. He was never married and had no kids, so I'm the official next of kin.

I feel really guilty. I hadn't seen my brother for three months before it happened. My husband and I just bought a house last month, but we started our search in January, and we've been so busy with the move and our jobs that I hadn't seen him since his birthday in February, even though I made sure to call him at least once every week. We were looking for a home near where he lived partially because we wanted to be closer to him and partially because we wanted to be closer to my work. And when we did find a good place, I made sure to tell him that he'll definitely see us way more often after the move (the appartment we live in right now is 2.5 hours away by bus and we don't drive). I also feel guilty over the fact that we weren't that close when we were kids. He was 7 years older than me, and we only got closer when I moved out two years ago. Even though my husband says I'm a great wife, and my friends say I'm a great friend, I feel like I could have done a better job in the sister department, and now I won't have that chance.

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Old 04-27-2012, 12:31 PM   #2
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Re: Just lost my brother

Listen dear heart,
I hardly know anyone who wouldn't feel guilty after loosing their lived one, myself included. It's not easy to loose loved ones, it always a tragedy.
My kids have 7 years difference in age and also not very close growing up, only when my daughter got married and left home, my son grew up too so they got closer. This is always a case, don't blame yourself for this.
Especially in between bro and sis.
I am sure he knew you loved him and he loved you back. Just so tragic that he had to die at such young age. I am so sorry to hear this, this is so unfair... I wish I could help you to ease your pain, but I cant.

He wants you to enjoy your life, your marriage and your new house... Let the guilt go, it will not help you to build healthy happy life and this is what exactly your darling brother wants for you.

Stay strong, hang on in there

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elmianis (05-08-2012)
Old 04-29-2012, 04:04 PM   #3
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Re: Just lost my brother

Moldova, I couldn't agree more with your kind advice. I am sorry for your loss, AirGuitar.

blessings, Sue

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