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Death of a co-worker

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Old 07-31-2013, 05:55 AM   #1
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Death of a co-worker

One of co-workers passed away very suddenly on June 29th. She literally went to bed one night and never woke up - she was only 40. She had a massive stroke that left her brain dead. I work in a small organisation so her death hit everyone really hard. It was such a shock for everyone. I couldn't go to the funeral - but two people from work did go. We had our own little ceremony at work for our co-worker, where we all got together outside, said a small prayer and let coloured helium balloons go. It was a beautiful sunny day and because we couldn't all go to the funeral, it was our way to say goodbye. We made sure we let the balloons go on the same day and same time as the funeral. It gave me closure but it was so hard to let go of those balloons.........afterwards a few of us were talking and we all agreed that it still didn't feel right, to say goodbye to a young and vibrant person.

I only knew my co-worker for a short time but during that time, I got to know her a bit and we worked closely together. I got along with her well and we often had little chats at work. It has hit me hard and I'm still trying to come to terms with her death. I can't seem to make sense of why such a young person had to pass away so suddenly. She wasn't sick and I was talking to her, with another co-worker, the night before she died. I still can't believe that we were chatting with her that night and then the next day, she was gone.

I have people to talk to about this but I think its affecting me in other ways too. I went away for a few days after my co-worker passed away and that helped. However, since I came back to work after my 2 week holiday (which I had already booked earlier in the year) I haven't felt like myself. I was sick with a virus last week and now I'm sick again this week. I'm normally a happy person but in the last couple of weeks, I've felt really down and unhappy. I feel like I can't get motivated. I have put on a brave face at work, pretending to be happy on the outside but on the inside, its a different story. I took a demotion at work recently and that has helped a lot.

Has anyone got any ideas on how I can feel happy again and how I can motivate myself??


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Old 07-31-2013, 10:12 AM   #2
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Re: Death of a co-worker

I think you might need to talk to someone. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm actually sitting in the waiting area of my psych's now. It wouldn't hurt. They may have someone at work available. Cathy

Old 08-01-2013, 07:56 PM   #3
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Re: Death of a co-worker

My younger sister died suddenly last March 2012. She was only 44 y.o. I still can't grasp it. It seems like sudden deaths esp. accidents are harder to accept. Mentally we are unprepared for it. It is a shock to our system. News of this sort is a type of stress that we are uniquely unprepared for. My a sister had officially undiagnosed and untreated lupus. We feel that she died of the damage the lupus had done to her respiratory system. I mention this because, even tho' I am still trying to grapple with her death, she had several friends who did not know of her health struggles and they are really messed up because one day they were talking to her on the phone and making plans to go out on the weekend and the next thing they know, they are being informed by me that she has died. I minded going through her voice messages. You know the kinds you leave for friends? Hey, where are you? Call me back cause the weekend is approaching and I can't wait to hit the party scene!!!!!!

Anyway, it is kind of like PTSD, so find someone who may be able to relate. You will need to talk it through until your mind can square the reality into terms you can accept. It is unfair, unexpected and atypical. You might have to speak with a professional therapist, but only if you feel comfy with that. Me? I don't so I will have to just stumble along with my private attempts at reconciling reality with the reality my mind clings to. Good luck and God bless. :-)

Old 08-28-2013, 05:25 AM   #4
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Re: Death of a co-worker

Sometimes grief takes time especially when the death is so tragic. There are good people to consult that may help you as someone else made the comment.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-25-2015 at 10:59 PM.

Old 08-30-2013, 09:33 PM   #5
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Re: Death of a co-worker

You have every reason to be sad and feel "off". Something like this is tragic. There are support groups and bereavement groups at your local hospitals. Your church may also have one. You can look into grief counseling through the local community resources and if you have no idea where to start, call the local hospital for direction. This is normal what you are experiencing and it will get easier with time, however you asked for help- which means you are experiencing a tough time right now. Being around others who have gone through similar situations and learned how to handle it, will help.
RRMS- dx 05

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