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downinkansas 06-27-2015 06:09 AM

Need Physical Touch
I have been struggling with depression and bipolar since around 16 years old. I'm 34 now. I've had some crappy relationships that I'm sure can be attributed to a low self-esteem on my part. The past 3 years though I thought I had really turned it around. I left an unhappy marriage and found someone that I felt so connected with. About 6-8 months ago, there were some more changes. I was unhappy with my job, medications made me gain weight (around 50 pounds in a year), and I ended up changing jobs and medications. I haven't gone thru this many med changes since I was 16. I got more and more down. Able to function at work and then just go home and zone out and/or fall asleep. Due to my own negative attitude and hostileness towards him, I've lost the person I spent all my time with. It is devasting to me. I can't and don't blame him because in a way, if I could "dump" myself I would too. It just got past where he could handle it anymore. We still talk and are friends but it's hard not being the same as it used it be. What if I never find anyone (friend or more) that can tolerate me? I miss being held the most. I'm trying out getting massage just because I miss the feeling of someone touching me. Any other ideas? I wish I could get a pet but can't due to renting. I hug pillows and stuffed animals which is kinda weird, but better than trying to molest strangers I guess.

Thisby 07-14-2015 09:33 PM

Re: Need Physical Touch
I'm sorry you're going through this.

Is it possible to volunteer at a Humane Society? Those little fellas would love the contact too.

I can't really think of anything else....

sally75 07-20-2015 02:34 AM

Re: Need Physical Touch
Hi, wow your story is so similar to mine. My anxiety and depression got progressively worse in my 30's and I was in a 11 yr relationship. He left me and I know that part of it was how badly i treated him. I just couldn't see past my own anxiety. After he left I was so lonely but as time went on I started to feel better - much better! I am lucky I have pets. I took my dog for long walks. I also started getting a weekly massage. I saw a doctor and started medication and also talked to a therapist. I'm not sure if you have close family that you can talk to but I my parents were supportive. Sometimes just talking to people, even therapists, make you feel cared about even if there is no physical touch. I also read lots especially stories of other people overcoming similar situations. Some animal refugees need volunteers which may include walking dogs.

remy 07-22-2015 08:56 AM

Re: Need Physical Touch
I understand what you mean about missing the physical touch. I haven't had that in so long. And for me, I think it has contributed to my depression. I had a therapist who talked about touch therapy. She mentioned that there were groups who engaged in hugging/physical touching (totally non-sexual) to provide that human touch we all so desperately need. See if anything comes up on a search. Maybe there's a group or some information? Until then, be good to yourself. Change is hard. It's very hard for me. It's the time when we have to be kindest to ourselves. I'm glad that you're at least still in contact with the person you were with. Hopefully you have or can explain how things have affected you so that you don't feel like you deserved to be dumped. (Though I totally know the feeling...)

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