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  • I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

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    Old 07-15-2015, 09:47 PM   #1
    GroceryStoreGuy
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    I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Hello everyone, let me start by saying that I'm new to this forum so if I'm unable to paint a clear picture of my problem for you, just ask me for clarification. Thanks.

    I've had depression since I was a kid. Slowly but surely my passions drifted away and I stopped doing very much of anything. When I was in grade 9, I enjoyed hanging out with friends but by grades 10 and 11 I had withdrawn. My routine was waking up, going to school, coming home and not going out until school the next day.

    It's a pattern I've continued to this day, only I've replaced school with working in a grocery store. For anyone has worked in this profession or retail in general, you could understand this is an added hell.

    I am constantly looking for other jobs but I don't seem to be qualified for much more than the customer service industry. I did go to college where I took broadcasting, but I haven't had any luck in finding a job in that field either.

    Other than that, I'm an introvert who only sees his friends at work. I'm a Type B living in a Type A world. I get drained of energy being around people and the only time I feel like I can be myself is when I'm by myself.

    So, in summary, I'm near-reclusive, I do nothing because depression has taken my zest for anything in life, I go to a job I hate (to pay the bills) and I keep to myself. But I want to change all that. I would like to have a relationship too.

    Has anyone been in these shoes? Thanks.

    Last edited by GroceryStoreGuy; 07-17-2015 at 01:05 PM.

     
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    Old 07-15-2015, 10:24 PM   #2
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    I have had depression and anxiety. It is very hard. Please seek professional help. There are skills you can learn and medication to help so you can have the life you seek. This can be the beginning of a new life for you, one you desire and one you deserve! Please!

     
    Old 07-16-2015, 11:25 AM   #3
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Agree with the post above - seek professional help. You deserve to have a healthy life that is fun and rewarding and it's within reach, you just have to seek help. If you need a reference for a free counseling resource, let me know. Hang in there, you're not alone.

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-22-2015 at 05:35 PM.

     
    Old 07-16-2015, 08:32 PM   #4
    GroceryStoreGuy
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Thanks for the support,

    I actually have been seeing a psychiatrist for the past few months (he is so busy I can only get an appointment once a month). He's good and very educated but I don't get very much out of counselling in general. I've been to see many a mental health professionals, and they were okay.

    Now I did take an interest in my health when going to see them, meaning I didn't just passively sit there and waste the counsellor's time. I've found that as good as they are, they are still "professional humans" and humans aren't perfect. However, on this forum I'm hoping to cast a net out there and see what people who have gone through this too (or are going through it) have done or are doing.

    Thanks again for the support

    Last edited by GroceryStoreGuy; 07-16-2015 at 08:34 PM.

     
    Old 07-17-2015, 09:21 AM   #5
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Glad to offer support. Is there anything you enjoy doing that you could work towards? Do you like being outside?

    Praying for ya

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-22-2015 at 05:35 PM.

     
    Old 07-17-2015, 01:00 PM   #6
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Honestly, my activities are few and simple.

    I'm 25 years old and my main hobby is going for walks alone. Part of the problem is when I'm with people, like friends and family, I can never really have a good conversation with them. I find that almost everything I say is challenged or questioned in a way that makes it feel like people are always lecturing me.

    I'm not saying they don't care about me, they do, they're great! It's just that being with them drains my energy like you wouldn't believe. So I 'prefer' to be alone...

    I am on Paxil and Seroquel (which I am happy with their effects) but they do make me have less energy to begin with.

    Last edited by GroceryStoreGuy; 07-17-2015 at 01:02 PM.

     
    Old 07-20-2015, 08:35 AM   #7
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Walks are good! Glad that you have friends too. I can understand what you mean when you say they are draining. Have you thought about finding another hobby? Just having something to look forward to might help lift your spirit. I enjoy taking pictures outside while on my walks and then seeing what I come up with afterwards. I also love painting, it's something I look forward to doing after work. Just trying to help. Hang in there!

    Last edited by Administrator; 07-22-2015 at 05:35 PM.

     
    Old 07-23-2015, 02:33 PM   #8
    GroceryStoreGuy
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Hobbies are okay distractions, but my problem is that I don't have anything going for me career-wise.

    I do want something in life, a house and a meaningful career. As I look around though, I get more and more depressed because I find that with my education I'm merely qualified for retail. I would like to go back to school, but it's a difficult decision:

    The goal is basically the opposite of what I did last time, take a program that can land you a job in your field (even if it's entry level) and work towards a long term goal (giving me a purpose) of saving up money, finding a wife getting married and buying a house to raise a family.

    I would like to go back to post-secondary but there is nothing I want to or can pursue. I don't wind up in the same situation I am now: put down a lot of money to go to school and end up working in a grocery store. I'm not smart enough for a white collar career, and I am not a tradesman, at all. Tried it, didn't like it.

     
    Old 07-23-2015, 02:37 PM   #9
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    do you like dogs? what about adopting a dog from a shelter? You would be saving a life and gaining a walking companion. Dogs give unconditional love, and they are great for starting conversations with people!

     
    Old 07-23-2015, 04:11 PM   #10
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    I would but I don't have the space for one. I have a small bachelor apartment being a grocery store employee

     
    Old 07-27-2015, 06:22 PM   #11
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    I could've written your original post word for word, except that I am female, and older than 24, and I don't work in a grocery store, I actually just quit my job because it made me so miserable.

    When I was in high school, I walked anywhere between 15-25 miles a day. I went to college, but I also don't have a career. I'm thinking of doing some volunteer work to try to get out and force myself to meet and interact with people with interests similar to the few that I have. I don't dislike people. But I have difficulty spending too much time with them.

     
    Old 07-28-2015, 02:31 PM   #12
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Sophie, I'm sorry to hear that but kind of relieved to hear that I'm not alone.

    Today was a particularly tough today, as I was unable to leave my apartment. I felt kind of anxious but mostly I felt like "what's the point? I probably won't connect with someone and I'm zapped of energy from working last all weekend and last night."

     
    Old 08-03-2015, 08:44 PM   #13
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    Im going through something similar, and I just quit my job in " food prep". Not to sound un modest but I only took that job because the owner of the restaurant told me that I would be next to waitress. Months and months went by and about 6 empty promises later and it never happened so I quit. Ive had three interviews with other employers for various positions and although the interviews haven't went perfect I never landed any of the jobs either. I feel like my boss at my old job really weighed on my self confidence. Telling me and promises me advances and then never delivering. He would even joke around and say " keep it crazy " when I would leave, all because I was fed up of a dead end job and sick of empty promises so obviously I became bitter and agitated. I did get hired for a part time job but I still need to find another part time job to accumulate hours. Lately I feel like I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I usually love doing my hair make up and even working out ( just to stay toned ) but lately I've had no desire to do any of those things, I'll make myself do my hair and face sometimes because I find that I feel worse if I just sit at home and do nothing at all and if I don't look decent for my boyfriend. Im beginning to think that I want to try anti- depressants again but I'm really scared to. Aside from the fact that they didn't seem to do much in the past, my boyfriends mom was on some a few years ago and she killed herself a few months later. Which also poses another problem. I feel like I can't talk to my boyfriend and life partner about my struggles because it will bring up bad memories...

     
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    Old 08-11-2015, 10:39 AM   #14
    GroceryStoreGuy
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    I'm sorry to hear that Chloe. All I can say about anti-depressants is that I am happy with what they are doing for me, but they can only do so much. I do encourage you to find a good psychiatrist, like the one I have, and s/he can help you find the right medication and dosage for you.

    I'm about to head to work in an hour, and I'm dreading it. At my job it seems like there's different rules for different people. Some people are allowed to get away with doing very little. I am not one of those people. I've always been the responsible one and so I always have to pick up the slack. In my line of work, it does NOT pay to be good at your job.

     
    Old 08-11-2015, 05:15 PM   #15
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    Re: I have no desires, opinions, or anything in life

    I hear you on that one. At my old job I did a lot of the work while others constantly slacked, and when I would ask to leave early for appointments it was a huge deal. So glad that I left that job, I couldn't stand it any longer.

     
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