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  • I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

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    Old 01-29-2017, 01:23 PM   #1
    FreeCharles
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    I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Hi, I'd like to share something that has caused me much, much depression in my lifetime. I have never had a relationship in my life, not even a date, for various reasons that were out of my control (they had boyfriends, weren't interested, etc.) and it would cause me so much pain, and I would cry - because 1) no matter what I seemed to do or change, the outcome was always the same and 2) loneliness and rejection is painful as hell.

    But just yesterday I made peace with the idea that I may always be alone, and suddenly it doesn't seem so scary. I may never meet anyone that wants to be more than 'friends' and I just don't care or have the energy to get upset about it anymore. I accept that it may just be my fate.

    I'm wondering if any other guys out there have decided to give up on girls and dating and how it is working out?

    Last edited by FreeCharles; 01-29-2017 at 01:25 PM.

     
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    Old 01-29-2017, 01:25 PM   #2
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    How old are you, Charles?

     
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    Old 01-29-2017, 01:27 PM   #3
    FreeCharles
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sweetpotato13 View Post
    How old are you, Charles?
    Old enough

     
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    Old 01-29-2017, 02:10 PM   #4
    waywardson
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    I certainly know these feels. I'm just too short n ugly. It sucks, like it's just a horrible feeling.

     
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    Old 01-29-2017, 02:12 PM   #5
    FreeCharles
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by waywardson View Post
    I certainly know these feels. I'm just too short n ugly. It sucks, like it's just a horrible feeling.
    Do you feel like you won't find somebody? If that were to happen, how do you think you'd feel?

     
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    Old 01-29-2017, 02:25 PM   #6
    waywardson
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FreeCharles View Post
    Do you feel like you won't find somebody? If that were to happen, how do you think you'd feel?
    No I don't think so. I've tried, it's been made very obvious to me that I'm just too ugly. I'm in shape, eat well, but my face is just not attractive enough and am too short. I honestly am very tired of it, I feel life is kind of pointless. I recently made a trip to Germany to escape and I just feel worse now, because I'm drinking and no one wants to talk to me. The feeling is kind of like hopelessness, I just don't know what to look forward to.

    I'm glad you made peace with it, I hope it works out for you. My biggest problem with it is that society treats me badly, like there is something wrong with me.

    Last edited by waywardson; 01-29-2017 at 03:50 PM.

     
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    Old 01-29-2017, 09:27 PM   #7
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    @waywardson. Funny seeing you here. I just left a comment on your thread.
    Giving up is not the answer. Maybe just take a break. I'm 21, I just asked a girl out there weeks ago and she said we should just be friends. It hurt like hell but it for better. Last Saturday I went to the bar for a drink and got a phone number. We are going out now and it's not all it's cracked up to be. Just enjoy being single for a while. The comment I left said something very similar. Just find you. She'll show up soon!

     
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    Old 01-29-2017, 09:39 PM   #8
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by greenarrow1228 View Post
    @waywardson. Funny seeing you here. I just left a comment on your thread.
    Giving up is not the answer. Maybe just take a break. I'm 21, I just asked a girl out there weeks ago and she said we should just be friends. It hurt like hell but it for better. Last Saturday I went to the bar for a drink and got a phone number. We are going out now and it's not all it's cracked up to be. Just enjoy being single for a while. The comment I left said something very similar. Just find you. She'll show up soon!

    See you obvs are ok looking. I don't get any of that. I have been on quite a few dates and have been in a few shorter relationships going through my 20s. But I am 34, I'm too old to not be married or in a LTR. I can't meet young women at the bar, they want guys around their age. It feels like it's just not meant to be for me. I don't want to be that old man living alone, no family etc, it just sounds like an awful way to live.

    Last edited by waywardson; 01-29-2017 at 09:41 PM.

     
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    Old 01-30-2017, 07:45 AM   #9
    FreeCharles
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by greenarrow1228 View Post
    @waywardson. Funny seeing you here. I just left a comment on your thread.
    Giving up is not the answer. Maybe just take a break. I'm 21, I just asked a girl out there weeks ago and she said we should just be friends. It hurt like hell but it for better. Last Saturday I went to the bar for a drink and got a phone number. We are going out now and it's not all it's cracked up to be. Just enjoy being single for a while. The comment I left said something very similar. Just find you. She'll show up soon!
    What happens though when every woman you meet that you click with and are interested in, is in a relationship and/or just wants to be friends - as has been my case?

     
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    Old 01-30-2017, 07:14 PM   #10
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FreeCharles View Post
    What happens though when every woman you meet that you click with and are interested in, is in a relationship and/or just wants to be friends - as has been my case?
    That's acctually a really good question. I had two girls that I wanted to ask out. Both time I was turned away. The one really didn't get my signals and when I finally just became blunt with her She said she wasn't looking for a relationship at that point in time. The second said the words that hit like a ton of bricks, I think we should just stay friends. So I got upset about both. Went in tinder for a bit and wallowed in self pity for a week.
    Then I said to myself "I can be okay for a bit." a bit was two weeks later. There is another thread that asks is to explain the phrase " when you stop looking for love, it will find you" but it's true. Maybe not true love but a good feeling for a while anyway.
    Again, not a therapist just a dude with a phone, just do you for a bit. Hang out with friends get on the occasional dating site talk to strangers. Don't look, just live. In the end, it'll be alright.
    Best of luck
    ~GreenA

     
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    Old 01-30-2017, 07:42 PM   #11
    FreeCharles
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by greenarrow1228 View Post
    That's acctually a really good question. I had two girls that I wanted to ask out. Both time I was turned away. The one really didn't get my signals and when I finally just became blunt with her She said she wasn't looking for a relationship at that point in time. The second said the words that hit like a ton of bricks, I think we should just stay friends. So I got upset about both. Went in tinder for a bit and wallowed in self pity for a week.
    Then I said to myself "I can be okay for a bit." a bit was two weeks later. There is another thread that asks is to explain the phrase " when you stop looking for love, it will find you" but it's true. Maybe not true love but a good feeling for a while anyway.
    Again, not a therapist just a dude with a phone, just do you for a bit. Hang out with friends get on the occasional dating site talk to strangers. Don't look, just live. In the end, it'll be alright.
    Best of luck
    ~GreenA
    Thanks for the kind words man! But I have to throw you a couple more questions...what if you haven't gotten any real matches on tinder or online in general, despite being on it for years? And what if you've 'done you' many times before and still nothing?

    I know I'm sounding pessimistic right now, but there's a good reason for that... my history, and especially my recent history! :P

     
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    Old 03-05-2017, 08:56 PM   #12
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FreeCharles View Post
    Thanks for the kind words man! But I have to throw you a couple more questions...what if you haven't gotten any real matches on tinder or online in general, despite being on it for years? And what if you've 'done you' many times before and still nothing?

    I know I'm sounding pessimistic right now, but there's a good reason for that... my history, and especially my recent history! :P
    We'll, tinder is really just for quick hookups not really LTR's. Try getting a hobby. Not just to get your mind off of it but you might meet someone with similar interest.
    @waywardson, if you read this one, younger women don't want guys their age. Trust me. I know younger women, they're all about older guys.
    I really don't have a ton of advice to give. She's out their looking just like you, and I am certain you'll find her when the time is right.
    ~GreenA

     
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    Old 11-08-2017, 06:22 AM   #13
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    Re: I will never have a girlfriend. And I now accept it.

    I know how you feel. I'm 27, a little overweight, not terrible looking, but I have major self esteem/confidence issues. I've never been on a date and have only asked one person out and she said she doesn't see me that way. It sucks. But I still have hope that it'll work out.

     
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