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Aimegirl 05-21-2017 10:48 AM

Problems Since Childhood
 
I have never resolved my issues as they keep coming back to haunt me. When I was young people made fun of me and I never understood because I never started it. I always wondered why people hated me so much. It came to a very bad end when in high school my symptoms started catching up to me. Then my mental health disorder got the best of me and I had to drop out and get a diploma through the GED department because I couldn't stand being around other people much. I mean it didn't help to be back in the school where the problem started and actually made me experience physical illness as well. Then I got further into my religious beliefs and thought when people grow up they grow up mentally as well. Nope, same problems as an adult. Mean nasty people who make fun of me or insult me so they can get the reward instead of the person who deserves it or just plain jerks who have nothing better to do. From being online, I know there are many of these types around. However, I want to be myself and be able to feel sad or happy without consequences of other people's judgement. I can't though in work world because everyone seems to think being tough is a good thing. However, pretending to be all right when you're not makes it worse for me. I guess I have problems with why these people seem to think being mean and nasty to others is discipline or part of life. Shouldn't people just accept people for who they are and leave them alone? That's my main thought.

sweetpotato13 05-21-2017 02:14 PM

Re: Problems Since Childhood
 
Oh how I wish it were so, that people would just accept one another! I am terribly sorry to hear that you have spent your lifetime being essentially bullied. How sad for you. I think that everyone is broken in their own way, but that doesn't give anyone the right to treat you poorly.
I know it's not easy, but I encourage you to keep being yourself! Everyone else is taken. Hugs to you.

Sisteryaya 05-21-2017 11:09 PM

Re: Problems Since Childhood
 
[QUOTE=Aimegirl;5459227]I have never resolved my issues as they keep coming back to haunt me. When I was young people made fun of me and I never understood because I never started it. I always wondered why people hated me so much. It came to a very bad end when in high school my symptoms started catching up to me. Then my mental health disorder got the best of me and I had to drop out and get a diploma through the GED department because I couldn't stand being around other people much. I mean it didn't help to be back in the school where the problem started and actually made me experience physical illness as well. Then I got further into my religious beliefs and thought when people grow up they grow up mentally as well. Nope, same problems as an adult. Mean nasty people who make fun of me or insult me so they can get the reward instead of the person who deserves it or just plain jerks who have nothing better to do. From being online, I know there are many of these types around. However, I want to be myself and be able to feel sad or happy without consequences of other people's judgement. I can't though in work world because everyone seems to think being tough is a good thing. However, pretending to be all right when you're not makes it worse for me. I guess I have problems with why these people seem to think being mean and nasty to others is discipline or part of life. Shouldn't people just accept people for who they are and leave them alone? That's my main thought.[/QUOTE]

You know, I could have written that! I went through the same thing. I've tried to adjust... to be tough and not let people know they hurt me but it's so hard. I feel like I have regressed back to my childhood. My best friend was talking crap about me behind my back and I heard her and I think that's what set off a bad depressed episode. Took me back to my childhood when kids would surround me and torture me, like a scary movie. Isn't it crazy how we can subdue our thoughts and feelings and then they come back to haunt us. People just roll their eyes like it's no big deal and I'm over sensitive if I say anything about it.
I've pushed all my friends away because I don't trust anyone any more. But the sad part is no one really even cares. People don't like me either. I don't know why. ...If I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would even care! Well except my kids and husband. I guess they are all that matters anyway.
So that kinda was my long version of "your not alone by any means." If you need to talk to someone who won't judge no matter what I'm here for you." I am a good listener. :)
But I think your right. People do suck. I know some people assholes but for the most part people are very kind and do care. Sometimes it's just hard to see it. 😊.


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