It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Depression Message Board

  • Christmas and No Family

  • Post New Thread   Reply Reply
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 01-02-2018, 05:42 PM   #16
    Will I Be Happy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2000
    Location: united states
    Posts: 491
    Will I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Thanks for responding! Yes I am in therapy. I go weekly. Iíve somewhat looked into groups. Iíve been trying to change my thought pattern where if I catch myself being negative I correct it w a positive. Itís the forgiving others I struggle with. I know nothing was done on purpose but still wish theyíd acknowledge it. Yesterday I was by my parents and my brother didnít come out of the basement. I didnít say a word. He texted me later in the night that he doesnít know why he just wants to sleep all day. I responded that heís depressed. He seemed to agree by saying his life isnít where he wants it. He said he wished he gave my parents grandkids and that he thought money would fix all. I mentioned therapy and he said maybe. I didnít push. He knows something is there but not sure if he will deal with it. I didnít push and reminded myself to continue to focus on me.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 01-02-2018, 08:22 PM   #17
    yayagirl
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    yayagirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,474
    yayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Dear Happy,

    I think you're response to that situation seems very healthy; owning your own stuff, acknowledging what your brother shared, sharing what you think without pushing and not getting emotionally tied in to it.

    It seems to me that in all families usually the person that is most bothered by where we are at is the one that takes the first steps to begin recovery. You likely were the first one to see that something is out of balance. I was the first one in my family and I am far from the first born. Not everyone can face themselves. Not everyone will. The important thing for you is being able to live with your self and your own choices.

    We don't want to be controlled by others, and I think you did a great job of not trying to control your brother. KUDOS...you have come a long way in your self-work, more than you may be crediting to yourself. To me it shows me where I am at when a family member opens up and talks about where they are at.

    In my mind, forgiveness of others starts with me understanding that my flaws can and do bother others, so I try to keep in mind that while my ways may be different, they still bother or annoy others. My flaws can make relationships as difficult on others as theirs are hard on me. When I am patient and understanding in my relationships, people often become patient and understanding of me.


    I think you really handled the interaction with your brother in a very mature and kind way.

    Love,
    __________________
    ~ YaYa ~

    Last edited by yayagirl; 01-02-2018 at 08:25 PM.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 01-04-2018, 09:49 AM   #18
    Will I Be Happy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2000
    Location: united states
    Posts: 491
    Will I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Today I feel super anxious. Maybe the blizzard making me feel isolated. I havenít spoken to him. Mom said he wasnít awake yet. Now my anxiety sky high. Having a hard time changing the negative thoughts. In such a state of worry and fear.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 01-05-2018, 10:45 AM   #19
    yayagirl
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    yayagirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,474
    yayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Dear Happy,

    Worried about what?

    Anyone else's problem is theirs. Maybe no one else will ever change.

    And you will never change until you take responsibility for yourself.

    Your happiness is based on your own choices.
    Not what brother or mother does or does not do.

    You are one person.
    Just yourself.
    The others are not you and you are not them.
    __________________
    ~ YaYa ~

    Last edited by yayagirl; 01-05-2018 at 03:12 PM.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 01-07-2018, 06:12 PM   #20
    Will I Be Happy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2000
    Location: united states
    Posts: 491
    Will I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Sorry just responding. Last few days really cold weather here. My upstairs pipes are frozen. Ugh. Also have hopefully a minor health issue that needs to be taken care of so havenít had much time. With the pipe issue and health issue, my family has been very supportive. I hate having to need help. Yesterday I was a mess. Was told I need a biopsy. Then my heat tanked. I had my meltdown but Iím hanging in. A lot of self-talk that I can only handle one thing at a time.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 01-08-2018, 10:23 AM   #21
    yayagirl
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    yayagirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,474
    yayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Dear Happy,

    Glad to 'see' you!
    I hope you can get the health issue sorted out.

    Well, those are some big problems. I'm sorry you need a biopsy. Thank goodness for modern medicine!

    Hon, we all need help from others. Even the independently wealthy need help and cooperation from others. There is a saying 'no man is an island'. We all depend on others for so much and they depend on us. I think where to draw the line can be confusing, at times, but it is rare that a single person can go off by his or her self and dwell without any help of others. Even when we pay someone to help, we still needed the help. And you have family that is willing to help when they can. That's a huge blessing.

    It seems like you are handling it well. Letting ourselves have a good cry does help us move on to solutions.
    __________________
    ~ YaYa ~

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 01-11-2018, 04:22 PM   #22
    Will I Be Happy
    Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2000
    Location: united states
    Posts: 491
    Will I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Hi there! Itís sure been a crazy few days. Finally had the heat fixed today. I have an appointment for the other issue end of January. I had therapy today which was so needed. Itís been a few weeks because two weeks of holidays and last weekís blizzard. My anxiety is lessening which is good. I keep trying to change my thinking. I hate when I have what feels like a 2-3 week anxiety attack. Hoping things continue to settle.

     
    Reply With Quote
    Old 01-16-2018, 06:00 AM   #23
    yayagirl
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    yayagirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: USA
    Posts: 2,474
    yayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB Useryayagirl HB User
    Re: Christmas and No Family

    Hi,

    Heat is a good thing! esp. this time of year.

    Good for you that you are doing so well.
    The more you settle down inside yourself, the more you will see that we all get thrown curve balls. Meaning, we all get surprises to deal with. My therapist shared some of his own life problems and explained to me that we all have problems to deal with, by sharing with me problems and emergencies he has had to deal with. Problems are a normal part of life. We need our energy for solving them, and to not waste our energy on thinking we are so different than others. Really inside we all have our own set of issues to deal with.
    Seems like you are dealing with yours just fine.
    __________________
    ~ YaYa ~

     
    Reply With Quote
    Reply Reply




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:06 AM.





    © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!