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  • The Blues

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    Old 12-05-2018, 07:19 PM   #1
    hunterfan
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    The Blues

    I have been through a lot since summer. I have had 3 visits with my pastor within the past 6 weeks. He sees the signs of "Blues" on me. But I can see the signs too. He really wants me to go to talk with my doctor. But I'm hoping to get good news on Monday then maybe my spirits may go up again. I'm have been waiting on if I get approved for Social Security Disability. This waiting has been very difficult on me plus all of the other stuff.

    I really don't want to go on medication because I'm afraid of side effects. And I don't swallow pills. The pills would have to be crushable.

     
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    Old 12-06-2018, 02:12 AM   #2
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    Re: The Blues

    Hi there. What you are waiting for is a big deal. I know plenty of people who were very anxious as they awaited this decision. Its not easy to get SS Disability and I hope it goes through for you. Remember if it doesn't that you can always have it appealed and try again.

    Meanwhile, your pastor is probably right that you should talk to your doctor about this. Your doctor may be able to refer you to a counselor for talk therapy- you do not necessarily have to take drugs to get help. Sometimes a counselor who is more suited to your exact issues is more help than your pastor; however, the fact that you reached out to your pastor and that you recognize that you are feeling blue is a BIG FIRST STEP! Congratulations for being smart enough to recognize this.

    A few more days is not really a big deal to wait and see if your news makes you feel better; but keep in mind that therapy does not always include medication and talking to your doctor about this may get you closer to finding peace. Its something to keep in the back of your mind as you wait.

    Good luck!
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    Old 12-06-2018, 07:11 AM   #3
    yayagirl
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    Re: The Blues

    Dear hunterfan,

    Having dealt with a load of physical and emotional trauma myself, I went back and read your posts and I can't see what is bothering you. If you explain what the trauma and blues are from we might better be able to support you through this difficult time. I had a very depressing life due to a serious accident that left me very crippled as a teenager and other family dysfunction issues. I didn't get mental and emotional therapy for those issues until in my 30's, and let me say that made all of the difference for being able to function and cope. A very good psychologist can help tremendously, without any drugs. I personally hate feeling drugged so I refuse the drugs, too.

    Contrary to popular opinion, there are no drugs that are effective against the blues anyway, and you absolutely do not have to take pills to recover. The drugs also have side effects as you know and they can create other imbalances. We don't have to take pills in order to recover from emotional trauma.

    One thing you might want to take a look at is your diet. A diet of too much or even too little of carbs and fat can create emotional problems, in itself.

    Can you explain what happened to you, friend, that you cannot work and have applied for SSDI??

    Love,
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    Last edited by yayagirl; 12-06-2018 at 07:19 AM.

     
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    Old 12-06-2018, 07:24 AM   #4
    hunterfan
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    Re: The Blues

    I have had a learning disability since pre-school.

    This summer I was in the ER twice for blood pressure and now on medication. I have had ear problem (tinnitus) and some feeling of pressure in my head. Had a CT scan but it was negative. Had to get on health insurance since I have been unemployed for 17 years. Had to see ENT Doctor which scared me and went to see a neuro-psychologist and testing for my disability but the appointment I broke down crying three times. I couldn't finish it was a 3-4 hour testing.

    For sleep I am taking 5mg of Melatonin and using Melatonin cream. I have a radio so I can listen to music and puts me to sleep.

     
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    Old 12-06-2018, 07:49 AM   #5
    yayagirl
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    Re: The Blues

    Dear hunterfan,

    I understand. You are communicating very well. I think most of us human beings live with some disabilities. You are definitely not alone. What kind of place do you live in? Do you live alone or with other people?

    I was critically injured in an accident that disabled me at age 17 (69 now) and grew up in a very dysfunctional home with serious abuse, so I know life can be very difficult. I could have gone on disability but I chose not to. What bothered you about the testing that made you cry? I know that tinnitus can be bothersome. My husband has that.

    You communicate very well. What do you to in your spare time? It could be that taking some art or craft classes or getting a hobby would work out well for you and increase your confidence.

    We all require social interaction in order to have a healthy mind and outlook. Maybe there are craft classes you could get involved with. I went to ceramics and art classes and got a lot out of the social interactions there, too.

    Hugs,
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    Last edited by yayagirl; 12-06-2018 at 08:10 AM.

     
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    Old 12-06-2018, 08:20 AM   #6
    hunterfan
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    Re: The Blues

    I'm 40 and live with parents.

    That appointment of testing was so it just got to be too much for me. And I have a trait that I just can't concentrate on things for that long either.

    My hobbies are Adult coloring books so that does help.

    I had a bad night of sleep so not sure how to explain everything. I'm pretty tired. But I got an appointment to see my doctor this afternoon and least talk to him.

    I would rather keep talking with my pastor. (I think the world of him and he is so great and wants to help anybody he can). Actually he's been my favorite pastor that we ever had.

     
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    Old 12-06-2018, 08:34 AM   #7
    yayagirl
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    Re: The Blues

    Dear hunterfan,

    Let me say, you communicate VERY well! There is nothing wrong with your explanation.
    Hours of testing would exhaust me, too!

    Some pastors (and doctors) are very good listeners and communicators, for sure. I'm glad you have a pastor like that. I enjoy the adult coloring books, myself. It is a relaxing past time that doesn't require much thought. I also like crossword puzzle books.

    You might want to ask your pastor if there is a simple way you can serve. I used to help in the church office folding papers or something. Serving always calms the mind and heart.
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    Old 12-08-2018, 07:22 PM   #8
    hunterfan
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    Re: The Blues

    Thanks gals for replying back to me. It means a lot that you care. I had a good day mood wise yesterday but the sun was out too. Today was not real great but the sun was out today too. I had a bad dream last night. In the dream I was denied for benefits and I was yelling at people and I going into Depression. I'm just afraid of that happening. I certainly don't want depression. When I saw my pastor last week and he said if I get bad news he would try to fit me into his schedule right away. I can even text him again. I have been doing a lot these past a couple months. He is really a great guy. He is the only one I want to talk to.

    I will keep you gals updated.

     
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    Old 12-10-2018, 08:34 AM   #9
    yayagirl
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    Re: The Blues

    Dear hunterfan,

    That you mentioned the sun reminds me that I am very sensitive to the effects of light, so I use full spectrum light bulbs all through my home. My family in Alaska makes sure to use that kind of light bulb all through their home since they have about nine months of no or not enough sunlight. I know lighting makes a huge difference to my own moods. You might want to try that.

    Also, it's good to limit TV and computer use, for the very same reason. They don't have healthy light. In fact there are films to apply to the computer screen for that purpose. It is way better on the brain to read a book in good light.

    By the way, I am very physically impaired and was denied SS benefits. But looking back I am glad I was. Try to dwell on what you do have and not what you don't or it makes us kind of crazy feeling.

    I get along just fine and so will you if you do to find out you aren't eligible for 'benefits'. Benefits are a very meager and depressing amount of money, often not even enough to thrive or even survive on.

    There are all sorts of training groups and classes and you communicate very well and have a lot to contribute. A good counselor can help you see a brighter future.
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    Last edited by yayagirl; 12-10-2018 at 08:44 AM.

     
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    Old 12-11-2018, 07:12 PM   #10
    hunterfan
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    Re: The Blues

    I still haven't heard from my case worker at Social Security. Today hasn't been a great day. This waiting is getting to me. I have been teary just about all day. I think depression is setting in. We are calling her again tomorrow morning and hopefully she picks up.

     
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    Old 12-12-2018, 12:24 AM   #11
    yayagirl
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    Re: The Blues

    Dearest hunterfan,

    Someone should have explained that SS Disability can take months, even years to get approved, if it ever is. And, it won't be spending money. Most likely the money would be handled by parents or care-giver to help pay for your needs and necessities.

    Do you have a medical diagnosis?
    Have you ever applied for local county benefits?

    What are your hopes and dreams for the future?
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    Old 12-12-2018, 07:23 AM   #12
    hunterfan
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    Re: The Blues

    We were told to call my case worker at Social Security on Dec 10 to find out. I filed back in September.

    And secondly I don't have any needs or necessities. I'm on food stamps now.

    My case worker said the most important thing is what my Intellectual ability is.

    My Disability
    Borderline range of Intellectual Ability
    Cognitive Skills
    Comprehension
    Reasoning
    Problem-Solving

    I know this is a long shot but we wanted to give this a try. I never went to college so I don't have a degree in anything. There is certain things I wouldn't know how to do.

    Look I'm 40 already and I haven't worked since I 2001. And another thing I don't drive either. I really don't think I will work again.

    Last edited by Administrator; 12-13-2018 at 09:55 AM.

     
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    Old 01-18-2019, 07:14 PM   #13
    hunterfan
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    Re: The Blues

    I thought I would log-in and give you update

    Middle of December my pastor really urged me to go on medication I wasn't doing good. So I started on medication. But in this new year I am feeling so much better. A sign from God I think. A house that I have been watching for sale for long time and a house where my grandparents, uncle/aunt lived. We bought the house it had really dropped in price. So now this June will be moving into town and leaving the farm which will be sad my dad was born was in this house.

    I may not post in this section again since I feeling better.

     
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    Old 01-18-2019, 07:31 PM   #14
    yayagirl
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    Re: The Blues

    Dear hunterfan,

    A change of scenery and a fresh start can really be uplifting. You have been dealing with a lot.
    I thank God that you are doing well.

    It's good for others here to see that things can change for the better, and that emotions can change. You have a lot to offer so feel free to share here, too.

    Thanks for sharing. I am so happy for you.

    Hugs,
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    Old 02-02-2019, 07:40 AM   #15
    hunterfan
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    Re: The Blues

    I hope my depression symptoms are not returning and I still on the medication. The last few days I just haven't quite been feeling the happy mood and I have had one of my not so happy cries. I will watch how I feel but we are supposed to get a snow storm Sunday night into Monday and then a second again the week so not sure if and when I would see my doctor again. Kind of wonder now the dosage is not working.

    But I am going to church tonight maybe I will chat with the pastor again.

     
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