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  • In search of the right antidepressant and my story...

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    Old 12-07-2003, 04:44 AM   #1
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    Thumbs up In search of the right antidepressant and my story...

    Well, this is kind of long....

    Hi. I am a 20 year old male and I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. The last time I remember being happy for any great length of time was when I was in elmentary school. Things have always been up and down for me. I go through periods of feeling miserable and times of feeling mediocre. Like I said, I've never really been happy for any length of time longer than a few days.

    I hate it. I really do. It's gotten to the point where I don't know how long I can keep it up. I'm not suicidal but sometimes I question if I can keep living my life this way. I have been unhappy for so long, I honestly cannot imagine going on like this for another ten years. Even another year of this seems awful. Hell, even a DAY. I always find myself asking, "why me?" I know it's silly but it just feels like I must have done some awful deed to warrant this punishment.

    I am in therapy and have been going to it regularly for over two years. It has helped some because it gives me someone to talk to but it obviously hasn't cured everything. For a while prior to this, my parents would try to send me to therapy but I would refuse it. I never believed in it. I always thought I could solve all of my problems on my own. Well, events happened that made me feel terrible and I became aware that I really needed help.

    I've been on and off anti-depressants for a while. I've never found anything that really works. I've been on: Zoloft, Welbutrin, Effexor and Celexa. The Effexor was awful because it gave me terrible nightmares which only made matters worse.

    Anyways, what I'm looking for is help in finding the right anti-depressant for me. I know I should ask my psychologist but he has been wrong before so here I am in request of some ideas that would point me in the right direction.

    My symptoms are pretty much these: Feelings of hopelessness, anxiety when it comes to doing anything productive (work, school, etc.), social anxiety, depression, feelings of sadness.

    I realize this is pretty long but I've gotten to a point where I'm more miserable than I have been in quite a while. I really need some boost. I want to be happy. That's all I want out of life. If anyone can give me any ideas or suggestions, I would be very thankful. Thanks for reading this.

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    Old 12-07-2003, 12:32 PM   #2
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    Re: In search of the right antidepressant and my story...

    I know this isn't what you want to hear, but probably none of us are going to be able to tell you what to try next....unfortunately, antidepressants are still pretty much trial and error until you find the right one. I'd suggest getting a recommendation for a good psychiatrist who can help you find the right drug (or combination of drugs). Just don't give up! Sometimes it does take a while.

    Old 12-07-2003, 09:37 PM   #3
    lori j
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    Re: In search of the right antidepressant and my story...

    None of us can tell you what to try, but I can tell you what worked for me. I was on an older AD for 7 years & it worked wonders. Like you, I'm sure I have had depression my whole life, just for most of it, didn't realize what it was that was wrong with me. Once I was put on amitriptyline 7 years ago, it was like having a new life. Amitrip. is one of the older AD's but my family doc thought it was what would work for me. In the last 6 months I could tell it wasn't working anymore, was becomming hopeless about life, didn't enjoy being with family or friends, couldn't feel happy at all, and was very short tempered, everything upset me. Well, I had only ever dealt with my family doc, so in Oct. when I told him I thought I was becomming immune to the amitrip. he gave me a sample of Lexapro. I had every side affect, nausea, diahrrea, insomnia, headache, fever etc. OK, 2 1/2 weeks on that & he takes me off & gives me a sample of effexor xr. That made me so wired, my heart raced so bad I thought I would have to go to the ER. I couldn't sleep, all I could feel was my heart beating throughout my body. 2 1/2 weeks on that one & I said NO WAY.
    With some darn good "pull" I got an appointment with a great pdoc, I told him my story & he put me on vivactil & I have had no side affects (3 weeks now) and it is working great just like the amitrip did for me for 7 years. I am also on Klonopin which helps me get to sleep, but may not need it much longer as the vivactil kicks in more.
    If you feel that your current doctor is not listening or is not willing to try something else, then by all means, check out another doctor. Not everyone is happy with the first pdoc they find, so check around & find a new one if this one is not helping you. There are enough meds on the market that they should be able to find one that will work for you. If you are still feeling this bad on your current med, then it definitely is not working.

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