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Will M. 02-27-2004 07:01 PM

Urge to hurt myself
Lately, I have wanted to hurt myself badly. Not to the extent of suicide--because you never know what the future will bring. :) But anyway, I have been having low self-esteam, my confidence, in general, goes up and down, mostly down. People see me as a peaceful, humble, out going person, on the outside, but when I'm alone, I get lonely and hopeless, like nobody could ever care about me. Then that leads into wanting to hurt myself, like hitting my head on something, or I have even had the urge to cut, which I've never done. I do have a counciler to talk to, and it helps, but I get like this when I don't have any socialization, like friends. I also have a short temper, when close to family. I get frustrated, when people will compliment me and stuff, but they have no idea what I am really like.

Is there any thing I can do to prevent from harming myself?

bloodytears 02-27-2004 08:11 PM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
Have you talked to your therapist about this? I have been struggling with self-harm for many years, in fact I mostly post on the self-injury board, however I do suffer with depression, so I read the posts here too, So, I do understand what you're going through. My advice to you is, whenever you get the urge to harm yourself, try doing something to fill that time up, instead of keeping it empty and allowing yourself to think those negative feelings. I know this isn't an easy thing to do, but try anyway. You can write in a journal that very moment, all the words, thoughts, visions, that are going through your head at the time, you can do some form of art, you can hold a cold piece of ice in your hand to give you a different feeling, a sensation, of coldness, so you focus on that instead of needing pain... You can go for a walk, exercise, sing, take a shower, color in a coloring book, chew gum, and blow the biggest bubbles you possibly can... Etc. there are many different things you can focus on during the moment you feel or the moments you feel the urges to hamrs yourself, and although they are difficult to go through, you can get through them... And I know you will.. But, you also need the help of a therapist.. So, I hope you are talking to yours about this as well.. Good luck.. Take care.. and let us know how you're doing.. ~tears

Crossbow 02-28-2004 08:38 AM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
It sounds like you think you have to punish yourself because no one else is doing it. Any idea about why you have such a bad opinion of yourself?

greenstumpie 02-28-2004 10:39 AM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
hey will,

i get the same way, i, like bloodytears post on the self inury boards as well. its great that you see a councellor about this. have you spoken to the therapist about this... it wouldnt hurt to help. just hang in there and try to relax... go for a walk, something to ease your mind and help you think more clearly...

browneyedgrl 03-01-2004 09:13 PM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
I was like that years ago. When I was younger, I just went through periods of bulimia. But then I did cut myself sometimes, and I still have faint scars on my shoulders. I would say to just try to focus your energy on something else or do something that relaxes you like listening to music, reading, something that'll make you feel better.

I've been feeling really down, and I've been thinking about doing something like volunteering at an animal shelter to focus my energy on something else and do something that'll make me feel somewhat useful. Plus I love animals, so that might cheer me up.

logical_ditz 03-01-2004 11:17 PM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
You seem to have described me. Volunteering is a good idea, I've been thinking about it myself, but my husband lost his job today. I'm real down about that.

Crossbow 03-02-2004 11:38 AM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
Volunteer work is a GREAT way to improve your self esteem. I highly recommend it.

gwenatron 03-02-2004 03:38 PM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
I've been cutting since I was 9, and it's almost like an addiction now. A friend I met in a psych suggested getting some modelling clay. You can create instead of destroy, create, tthen destroy or else just squeeze, throw, twist,punch whatever the clay. This way you don't have to lie constantly about the scars.

Crossbow 03-02-2004 04:04 PM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
Yes, it is addictive. Better not to start if you can avoid it.

Will M. 03-06-2004 03:35 PM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
Luckly, I haven't started anything to hurt myslef, like cutting, ect. Sorry it took so long to get vack to you guys, and I thank you for your help. I was banned for a week for posting an informal website--yeah, I'm a trouble-maker ;). Anyway, I actually meant "theripist," and I did talk to him, described what's happening, and he explained that it's a lack of serotonin. So, I will increase the medication that I am currently taking. I have had urges, but I have a lot of productive things happening in my life, so I have had stuff to keep me busy, and my mind off pain.

Thanks for all your help,

D_A_N_N_Y 03-13-2004 08:50 AM

Re: Urge to hurt myself
hey i know how you feel. please don't start cutting man...i started and it has already taken over my life. i feel the same way...i used to not like being alone because i was afraid i was going to do something to i would always be with a friend..but now i just want to be alone so i can cut. it really isn't good for could get infected and you could go to deep and there are so many other effects. people don't realize how addicting it can be and it only provides TEMPORARY relief. please please please don't start...i know how hard it is to resist but you have to. try doing stuff to keep your mind off it like going for a run...thats always helps me.
take care

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