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    Old 05-16-2004, 06:09 PM   #1
    imsolost
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    Unhappy Can someone help?

    I need some help. I am having alot of problems now. I have been diagnosed with depression and i am taking medication. But medication can't help me i don't think. I am upset most of the time because there is a lot of fighting in my family. My sister fights with me and my parents a lot. Every time my parents say she can't do something, she gets mad and loses control. My parents fight a lot too. My mom depends on my dad to bring my sister and i to and from places. But most of the time, dad complains that he has to bring us somewhere and i hate it. My dad gets angry very easily and he yells alot. I have a hard time understanding some things, and my dad always yells at me when i don't understand something. My mom just annoys me. She won't leave me alone and let me do what i want. My mom complains i don't spend time with other kids. And then when i want to spend time with others, she says no. My parents won't listen to me. Every time i say i don't want to do something, they say that's too bad, i'm doing it anyway. They won't listen to me. I don't think medication can help the fact there's so much fighting. And it won't help the fact that my parents won't listen to me. I am also very anti-social because people scare me. I want to have friends, but every time i try to make new friends, i freeze because i'm too scared. And my foster sister isn't helping any. She makes me feel guilty all the time. And she says she wants to spend time with me, but she's always busy doing other things. Then there's my other three bros and sis. My oldest sister doesn't live at home because she has bipolar and she lives in a residential setting. I miss her. But she scares me. My oldest brother is married and lives with his wife. he doesn't bother me. But then there's my other brother. He doesn't live at home because he has autism. He doesn't talk much and he doesn't visit home much and i miss him. Then i have a lot of problems that don't deal with my family. School is one huge thing. My grades are really falling and I hate going to school every day because the other kids tease me and make me cry. So do the teachers. I don't really have any friends. So i'm all alone. And no one seems to be able to help me. I want someone to help me. Can anyone help me? Can someone please help me?

     
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    Old 05-18-2004, 12:49 PM   #2
    spbcesr
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    Re: Can someone help?

    Is there a nurse or health visitor at school, or maybe one teacher that you trust. It sounds like you really need a good counseller or mentor. You really need to speak to someone now. The best way to do it is to approch the person you are most comfortable with and ask for an appointment to see them. Think about what you are going to say, write it down if you get muddled, if you approach someone in a calm and professional manner then they are going to take you a lot more seriously. Explain your home situation and your feelings and make sure if they can't help you, then they can put you in touch with someone who can.

    Unfortunately a lot of your problems do not seem to be your own but they do effect you, however you cannot change how your mum, dad and siblings are, the only thing you can change is yourself. If you can talk to a counseller then maybe they can help you talk to your mum and dad and explain your situation and how you feel about how you are treated. Often parents made mistakes as teenagers that they swear their kids will never make so they make up rules and restrictions that they honestly think will help you not make those same mistakes. They may be right or wrong but mostly they are doing it out of love, not just to spite you. If your dad flies off the handle at everything then maybe he is going through something in another part of his life that is causing him to be so stressed (yes, parents have problems too), it may be something that he simply can't talk to you about.

    From what you are saying I figure you are a teenager. I am in my 30's now but your post struck me so hard as it was so similar to how I felt at that age. I remember walking around feeling like I was a ghost and nobody could see me. What really changed is I did in the end pluck up the courage to speak to people and actually say 'I am really shy' and 'I need help'. It is a tremendously hard age to be at when you want to be independent but also need guidance. Please believe me that it does get better, I went through years of being teased and having no confidence and many times of having no friends and feeling I had no one to talk to. I also had real problems studying and didn't do as good at school as I could have. However I worked it all out and kept myself going and I now have a PhD (half of which I did while still depressed), lovely friends and a great husband. Things really can get better but you need to take some control and maybe also relinquish some aswell. Good luck and keep in touch.

     
    Old 05-19-2004, 02:11 PM   #3
    imsolost
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    Re: Can someone help?

    There is not any nurse or health visitor at school that i haven't already seen. I've been to the nurse and asked if she could help me, but she couldn't. I've talked to my guidance counsellor, but it seems like he wasn't listening. I went to the principal to ask him if he could do something about the other kids, but he said he couldn't. I have spoken to every person i can think of. And no one can help me. I am not comfortable talking to very many ppl, but i've talked to everyone i could think of. And none of them can or will help me. I went to about twenty different counsellors to ask for help with my situation, and none of them said they could help me. I just wish some1 could help me. I know that i can't change how my family is, but i wish some1 could help me fix it or get used to it. I want things to get better and just about everyone i've talked to said it would get better. But it's been 10 months since i started feeling really depressed all the time and nothing's changed. I go to therapy now every week, but it doesn't help. I try to talk to my family members, but they won't listen. I have been put on medicine and it's not helping. And things are still getting worse. I just wish there was someone that would help us.

    Last edited by imsolost; 05-19-2004 at 02:17 PM.

     
    Old 05-19-2004, 02:35 PM   #4
    alphamale9009
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    Re: Can someone help?

    Strange story. If you go to therapy and you have medication, i'm assuming your family isn't broke. If you're on depression medication, see if your doctor will switch you to Benzo's, Klonopin is my favorite for anxiety with depression. The SSRI's pretty much turned my anxiety with depression into depression without anxiety, which was not good. If anxiety is your major problem, and causes your depression because of burnout, then you're going to do much better on Benzos. One you conquer your anxiety with anxiety drugs, you'll be able to make friends easier and you'll be able to live your life without worrying so much about what impression you're having on people. Atenolol and Klonopin has conquered anxiety that i've had since i was born, it's a great combination and though i had learned to control the anxiety before using drugs, nothing beats being anxiety free and not having to control it. So that's my prescription. One, find a project to devote yourself to, working out or pulling your grades up, two, see if you can switch to anxiety medications, and three, i hate to say it, but all you can do about your family situation is to wait till it changes. You'll be graduating soon enough, but in the meantime, you have the opportunity to make yourself into a person who is going to be successful at life.

    hope this helps,
    alpha

     
    Old 05-19-2004, 02:55 PM   #5
    imsolost
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    Re: Can someone help?

    Thanks for the suggestion for medicine, but i can't take any new medicine 'til my parents find a psychiatrist (i have no idea why my regular doctors can't take care of it). there are alot of things i have to deal with in my life. I can't wait until things are better. I just hope they will get better soon. My parents are gonna make us go broke if they don't stop worrying about me. We aren't really poor, but my parents make me worry about our financial stability. I want to be able to not be afraid of ppl, but i know that's gonna take a while. And i know that no one can help me.

     
    Old 05-20-2004, 12:44 AM   #6
    alphamale9009
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    Re: Can someone help?

    If you think your major problem is being afraid of people, i recommend you don't touch SSRI's, they may cause a depressive effect. Your problem is with anxiety and you need a benzo, xanax, Klonopin, atenolol, and or propranolol. A combination is best. The beta blockers, atenolol or propranolol will stop the physical nervous response such as racing heartrate, sweating and blushing. The Klonopin or Xanax will stop the epinephrine driven exciatatory response in your brain. I recommend Klonopin because the Xanax did not remove my irritability or make me more sociable like the Klonopin did although it did help my anxiety. Anyway, you have to do your own research to see what works for you.

    The second thing you need to do is increase your social interaction by creating goals. Start with simple and easy goals and progress to harder ones. Be very scientific and notice what states of consciousness are most effective in particular situations. Should you be carrying on a dialogue in your head, focusing on yourself, or focusing on other people? Should you be anticipating an answer or should you let it come automatically?

    The last thing to do is to adopt a positive view toward your problem. Let go of all guilt and regret. It's not your fault, and you have not poisoned your life. You still have much life to live and the life you have lived so far has not been rendered terrible by your anxiety problem. Most people, despite what problems we have, get a very similar experience of life. No one's way ahead of you or have lived where you have not. We have all lived and are living.
    I have found it best to see it as a physical problem, that way you understand that you did not create the problem or the problems that result from the problem, but you can make steps to improve your problem.

    hope i have been helpful,
    alpha

     
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