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  • Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

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    Old 11-10-2004, 12:22 PM   #1
    Josh McGrath
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    Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    Someone tell me it will go away. I haven't ever been happy or normal since puberty. I have been on Wellbutrin 150mg SR, Effexor and BusPar. Nothing has helped one bit.

    I can't even hold a job my depression is so bad. It has ruined my life. I am starting to think I will never leave this depression behind. But on the other hand, I also dont want to take a pill for the rest of my life to feel normal. That also saddens me. (is it even safe to take an A/D for life?)

    I hope no one knows how hard it is to try to get help without insurance and having to go to the county docs...

    I don't know what happiness, nay, un-depression feels like.

    Sorry for the rant. I feel like I will never get better and it'll only get worse.

    I feel like such a failure and a waste of space

     
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    Old 11-10-2004, 06:58 PM   #2
    Bonaventure
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    If your deprssion is caused by a chemical imbalance it may be with you for a long time. I fear that may be the case for me.

    I haven't been un-depressed for many years either Josh, I can truly sympathize. I see people who are really happy and I simply cannot understand them.

    I don't think that you are ranting. It is painful having your life ruined by deprssion and the related problems that go with it. Plus people just don't understand. I have the same problem. I had to drop out of school, give up my dream of being a monk, and I can't even hold a silly job at wal-mart if I wanted to. I've also been on effexor, zoloft, lexapro, with no help in sight. I'm trying to suffer everything patiently and praise God, but it is hard sometimes.

    Just a thought. Many doctors have reduced rates for people without insurance. My family doctor does and he gives me all the free samples that he has for the med that I am currently on. Also some drug companies have patient assistance programs to help you afford your meds.
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    Old 11-10-2004, 07:27 PM   #3
    wee96
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    Some people are just depressed genetically, its not something you should be ashamed of or worried about. AD's are ok to take for the rest of your life, theres no evidence of them harming your system at all (sure there are rare cases of it, but not nearly enough to say they do).

    So far no medications have help you you said? Have you tried any of the SSRI's? (prozac, paxil, lexapro, zoloft, celexa, etc). I know with my depression/anxiety problem I have tried Effexor (horrid!), Wellbutrin (didnt work), lithium (VERY bad!), and then I had gotten switched over to Zoloft. It worked wonderfully for me for 5 years, then I mentally took myself off it. I then realized how much better life was for me when I was using them and decided to get back on AD's. I take Lexapro now and it seems to be ok, makes things tolerable although nothing is a complete cure.

     
    Old 11-10-2004, 07:58 PM   #4
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    It doesn't go away completely but it can go away to the point you forget about it. I speak from 45 years of experience. I honestly felt hopeless, but AD's did a lot for me. It's like diabetes - it's a lifelong problem that you have to manage every day, but it gets easier.

    If I were you I'd try different meds; Wellbutrin didn't do much for me; neither did Buspar. They weren't strong enough. The SSRI's were what worked for me. I've got a pretty severe case and it sounds like you do, too. Nothing to be ashamed of; it's just "serotonin deficiency" in my opinion.

    Also very important: avoid alcohol, marijuana, and other recreational drugs. I mean it - completely!! Avoid super-sugary foods, which can cause sugar blues. Try to eat regular meals, and drink lots of water. Avoid dairy foods if possible. You might try taking Vitamin D supplements (there's some research that says Vit. D deficiency is related to depression) and some Omega-3 fatty acid supplements. Everybody I know says Omega-3 or just plain ol' fish oil capsules are mood-boosters - these are VERY important to take, along with meds and everything else.

    Fight this thing from every angle, Josh!! There's no silver bullet but it can be done. Been there! The first thing I'd do if I were you is CHANGE MEDS! It's hard to move forward when the major symptoms aren't being relieved.

     
    Old 11-11-2004, 04:52 PM   #5
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    I feel your pain, Josh. Me too... ever since middle school, and I don't even know why.

    I am starting to think the melancholy is just part of my personality... and I can no more change it than I can change my soul.

    It has been with me through good times. I has been with me through bad times... my life has always been tinged with sadness..In fact, it is so entwined with my identity, that I'm afraid if it ever went away, I just wouldn't recognize myself. God, I'm afraid I'm starting to accept it....

    Or maybe I can change... but having grown up with it, I just can't see it right now because it has shaped my life so much.

    I wish I had the answer.

     
    Old 11-11-2004, 11:22 PM   #6
    Josh McGrath
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bonaventure
    If your deprssion is caused by a chemical imbalance it may be with you for a long time. I fear that may be the case for me.

    I haven't been un-depressed for many years either Josh, I can truly sympathize. I see people who are really happy and I simply cannot understand them.

    I don't think that you are ranting. It is painful having your life ruined by deprssion and the related problems that go with it. Plus people just don't understand. I have the same problem. I had to drop out of school, give up my dream of being a monk, and I can't even hold a silly job at wal-mart if I wanted to. I've also been on effexor, zoloft, lexapro, with no help in sight. I'm trying to suffer everything patiently and praise God, but it is hard sometimes.
    .
    Bonaventure, we are just alike, I'm afraid. I had to give up a dream of being in the military. (ANY M.O.S.!) Just like you gave up your dream of being a monk.

    You had to drop out of school. I couldnt handle but one hour last year. (both of above caused by depression)

    I also couldn't even handle a silly job at Wal Mart. It kinda of scares me almost knowing I have to be somewhere at a certain time. Kind of like the "dread" feeling. I guess I cant handle stress...I have no coping skills, I guess.

    Ive also been on Effexor, Zoloft (hell!) and Lexapro. Lexapro worked great for my anxiety until the 6th week. Then it went haywire. None have helped my depression one tiny bit.

    I will always praise god, but sometimes I wonder why he has forgotten me. (and you)

    D'angle, I perfectly understand your statement about not reconizing yourself if you become undepressed. I have never known the difference, I think it would actually scare me.

    Last edited by Josh McGrath; 11-11-2004 at 11:23 PM.

     
    Old 11-12-2004, 09:42 AM   #7
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wee96
    AD's are ok to take for the rest of your life, theres no evidence of them harming your system at all (sure there are rare cases of it, but not nearly enough to say they do).
    I don't think that is true. Do you know of any studies to back that up? All the information I read shows that studies are all quite short (weeks and months). We don't know what the long term effects may or may not be.

     
    Old 11-12-2004, 10:51 AM   #8
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    It is true that there hasn't been much research into the long-term effects of ADs. But there are plenty of studies as to the long term effects of depression!

    Certainly the best case scenario would be to take the meds for only a short time, but that is just not an option for many people. For me personally, the long term effects would have to be pretty drastic for me to even consider going off. I know what the effect of my depression will be w/o meds - suicide.

    There are many who take meds for a limited time (months, maybe a few years), stop them, and go on for the rest of their lives w/ no probs. And there are people who have taken ADs w/o any major side effects for 20-30 years. And there are people who cannot tolerate the meds at all, etc., etc., etc. So I think it is really all very individualized.

    It is a difficult decision that everyone must make for themselves.

    Good luck.

     
    Old 11-12-2004, 10:53 AM   #9
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    EXCELLENT post, kerry. I don't think anyone could have said it better.

     
    Old 11-12-2004, 10:59 AM   #10
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    I relate to your post so well. This mental anguish is horrid. I know.

    I too wonder if God has forgotten me sometimes.

     
    Old 11-12-2004, 12:46 PM   #11
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    thats some pretty darn good advice kerry1. i suffer from a serious depression and i was going to reply"hell i dont know anymore"

     
    Old 11-12-2004, 01:09 PM   #12
    Jennita
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Josh McGrath
    Someone tell me it will go away. I haven't ever been happy or normal since puberty. I have been on Wellbutrin 150mg SR, Effexor and BusPar. Nothing has helped one bit.

    I can't even hold a job my depression is so bad. It has ruined my life. I am starting to think I will never leave this depression behind. But on the other hand, I also dont want to take a pill for the rest of my life to feel normal. That also saddens me. (is it even safe to take an A/D for life?)

    I hope no one knows how hard it is to try to get help without insurance and having to go to the county docs...

    I don't know what happiness, nay, un-depression feels like.

    Sorry for the rant. I feel like I will never get better and it'll only get worse.

    I feel like such a failure and a waste of space
    Don't worry if it will get worse, because you don't know that for sure. I mean, anything can happen anytime to any of us! (nice sentence, huh?)

    Wish we had the absolute answers here. All I can say, is there have been studies on two depression lifters....regular, vigorous exercise (don't worry about trying to be an athlete, just do it!) and fish oil. There seemed to be marked improvement with both. Of course, as with any lifestyle change, it won't be instant results like with drugs (which you indicated didn't work anyway).

    If energy is a problem, B-vitamins can help. When you try anything like supplements, remember not to mega-dose. Same with exercise, take it slow and work up. Don't get discouraged. For example, I'm a 47 year old woman who uses 50 pounds with relative ease for my bi-cep curl sets. I certainly did not do that when I started.

    It took a very long time to get to that point, and for exercise to not be a pain in the be-hind for me. When I started, I could hardly do anything before exhaustion set in! Even now, some days I just don't have the energy, but I'll do less weight or reps, less time on the bike....but I still do it no matter. Even a short 10 minutes on the stationary bike is better than nothing. Consistancy is better than level of performance.

    So be patient and it will pay off in the end! And the after-effect of exercise comes in the form of more energy for simple things like getting off to work....

    Last edited by Jennita; 11-12-2004 at 01:11 PM.

     
    Old 11-12-2004, 05:50 PM   #13
    Bonaventure
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Josh McGrath
    Bonaventure, we are just alike, I'm afraid. I had to give up a dream of being in the military. (ANY M.O.S.!) Just like you gave up your dream of being a monk.

    You had to drop out of school. I couldnt handle but one hour last year. (both of above caused by depression)

    I also couldn't even handle a silly job at Wal Mart. It kinda of scares me almost knowing I have to be somewhere at a certain time. Kind of like the "dread" feeling. I guess I cant handle stress...I have no coping skills, I guess.

    Ive also been on Effexor, Zoloft (hell!) and Lexapro. Lexapro worked great for my anxiety until the 6th week. Then it went haywire. None have helped my depression one tiny bit.

    I will always praise god, but sometimes I wonder why he has forgotten me. (and you)

    D'angle, I perfectly understand your statement about not reconizing yourself if you become undepressed. I have never known the difference, I think it would actually scare me.

    Hi Josh. Wow, we are alot alike. It does feel like God isn't there sometimes doesn't it? I heard Mother Theresa used to say that mental illness is the crown of thorns. God can never and will never forget us. It's true we have been given a very heavy cross. But all the more we must believe in His Love and Mercy. In some ways my depression has allowed me to grow closer with God. Maybe thats why He has allowed me to have it? I know its easy to say, but as weak as I am, I try to offer all my pain and anguish back to Him and even to thank Him for it.

    It's true that God is pleased with those who Love Him who have good and easy lives but how happy must He be with those who love Him in the terrible trials and pain that we face minute by minute?

    Well I really do hope it gets easier for you Josh.
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    Old 11-13-2004, 02:37 PM   #14
    kerry1
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    Re: Does depression really go away? -rant alert-

    I never feel like God isn't there, fortunately. Sometimes I wonder if I did something to offend Him, though. I say "Why me?" and then remember that there are millions and millions of people out there like me.

    God never promised us perfection in this life, anyway. That old saying "God never gives me more than we can handle" is not true. Just plain NOT TRUE. I don't even know where that saying came from. I believe in peace in the afterlife, but this life on earth is not fair and I'm reconciled to that. I enjoy it where I can. And I wouldn't give it up for anything!!

     
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