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    Old 03-06-2005, 10:46 PM   #1
    pregnoid
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    Warning

    i feel hopeless like its 2 late 4 me,but maybe my story can help others who recovered from PD or depression 2 not make my mistakes sorry its so long i haven't told any1 my story yet (except dr.s)

    i had my first panic attack around 13, and by the time i admitted what i feeling my panic disorder got so bad i was agoraphobic (wouldnt leave the house) i sat in the corner of the room freakin out for somewhere around 6 months praying 2 god i wouldnt wake up in the morning. i was in the er and had docs run every test. Finally saw a therapist and was diagnosed with PD and agoraphobia. Its a long story 2 recovery i dont have the energy 2 tell. Basically i got on Paxil, 20mg and clonopin .5mg and after a month of insanity forced myself outside and was given a miracle recovery. In about a year it was like it never happened, I WAS NORMAL!!! I went thru normal teenage drama and was the happiest person on earth. Everyone said i always was smiley, positive outlook, good vibes, great support 2 anyone. I said id never take it 4 granted but in time i did. I am now 20. In this past year my boyfriend that i lived with died in front of me,but i handled amazingly. i was depressed, lost my job and moved in with mom,l but still functioned great. I really was ok, just lonely and needed friends. Well i met a boy who live in the nieghborhood as me 17 years but we never met. We are perfect 4 eachother and truely soul mates. It was like a honeymoon 4 a couple months. He took me places id never been and did stuff like camping id never done. He didn't know much about meds and what not and instisted i try 2 stop taking them. I was happier then id ever been and weaned of clonopin in a month without telling a dr, ive now been informed i couldve died and how stupid that was. Well i was so proud of myself, young stupid and living in a dream i contemplated what 2 do with my life. I should have focused on a courier, or got a dog.... guess what i did? while weaning of paxil i got pregnant! I am now almost 6 months pregnant. The past 5 months have been HELL. I hate everything, i dont wanna live like this. I pray constantly, read the bible. Im on 40mg of paxil and 50 seroquel because i didn't sleep nov. and dec. i am sucidal feeling. i am not at all into anything especiallly the pregnancy. Its HELL. my fiance has a hard time understanding. i run and cry at my moms. i sleep all day long because i cannot face life. i am terrifed of labor and having a baby in this shape. i cant even face the rest of the preg. hoping it goes away with hrmones, terrified of post pardum. i gotta run quick. but maybe others can learn from this.

     
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    Old 03-06-2005, 11:10 PM   #2
    Samantha317
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    Re: Warning

    Hi
    I just want you to know that I felt the same way when I was pregnant. I was so sad and felt hopeless. I couldn't understand why I felt so bad all of the time. It was the hormones! I didn't feel that way with my first 2 pregnancies. YES! I have 3 children. My baby in now 21 years old. I am just trying to let you know that what you are going through is normal. I hope you feel better soon. Please take care of yourself.

    Sam

    Last edited by Samantha317; 03-06-2005 at 11:11 PM.

     
    Old 03-07-2005, 01:43 PM   #3
    brett24
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    Re: Warning

    hey dont give up! uve had a hard time but come soo far! dont know what else to say except take care and ur not alone

    Brett

     
    Old 03-08-2005, 03:59 AM   #4
    barefaced
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    Re: Warning

    I suffered while I was pregnant with my 2nd baby after sailing through my first pregnancy. My biggest regret from it was not telling my doctor how I was feeling while I was pregnant as I thought he would say I was making it up. Now I realise that studies have proven that post partum depression can actually start while you are pregnant. I take it you have told your doctor that you feel like this have you? It is perfectly normal to feel the way you are about the birth and being a mother whether you are young or old and whether this is your first or not. The birth is the fear of the unknown. You have never been through this before so you have no idea what to expect but beleive me once you have that baby it will make it all worthwhile. You need to accept how you are feeling is perfectly normal and that you will be a good mom and you will cope. You need to talk to your fiance and tell him that he needs to understand how you are feeling right now and that you need his support. Depression is so hard for our partners so getting him to understand that you need him there will make a huge difference to how you are feeling.

    Being on here talking to everyone else is a big step. I didnt think so when I first arrived here but now I know it is. Hang on in there girl, there are people who are here that have been through it and know how you are feeling right now. You WILL get through it. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

     
    Old 03-10-2005, 11:53 AM   #5
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    Re: Warning

    Hey it's me again. my boyfriend came 2 pick me up from momz so i cut it short. thanx 4 the support and replies, it does help 2 know im not alone. I have read lotz of peoples stories but always fear im different or somethings not right that i will never b normal again. i know its hormones but i have obsessive hopeless thoughtz that 'i cant do it anymore'. Anyway i went 2 the ob tuesday really upset (couldnt stop crying) and my bf was REALLY upset and a couple dr.s said they thought i needed 2 go into USI hosp. 4 a little while. We got almost hysterical, i was terrified and panic attaking, but said i just wanna get help, and get better so i went. Two psych's evaluated me. They said its probly hormones (duh) and my meds probly will work like they used 2 when im not preg. It was my choice if i could handle things outpatient. They cant do anything in the hospitol except keep me from hurting any1 and myself which im not gonna do and sitting in a hosp bed made me nutz so i left. 2day my psych added wellbutrin 150mg 2 my pill diet so we'll see. im always hopeful. im scared itll make me more restless and mess with my sleep but again we'll see. Ive concluded that im just gona have to put on the ok act no matter how hard it is so my family will b more supportive, boyfriend is having a nervous breakdown trying 2 make me happy and feeling like itz his fault. everyone ready 2 give up and let me sit in the hosp. So itz up 2 me 2 not let that happen. I finally hooked up a therapist next week so maybe therapy will help more then id expect too. Anyway thank you again SOO much 4 the replies. Itz beautiful that people care and try 2 help. God bless yall

     
    Old 03-10-2005, 12:19 PM   #6
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    Re: Warning

    I am glad you got some help and are going to a therapist. It is not good to keep feelings inside and put on a happy face. Hopefully the therapist will be able to put things into perspective for you. I am glad that you are ok, was worried about you.

    Barefaced is right. It is all worthwhile when that baby finally gets here. They are trully a gift from God.

    Best wishes,
    Sam

     
    Old 03-19-2005, 02:20 PM   #7
    pregnoid
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    Pregnoid on Wellbutrin

    Wellbutrin was pretty good for my mood, but after 6 days i was so anxietied out i was throwing up and didn't sleep for 3 nightz, it was hell. Had 2 take .75 attivan and stop wellbutrin. I felt really tired and anxious for 2 days. Just wannna sleep. This is so hard. Any1 had problems with wellbutrin? any1 had relief from anxiety with wellbutrin? i want 2 try more paxil. Any1 have any advice? i cant sit still bit 2 depressed 2 want 2 do anything, nervous wreck!

     
    Old 03-19-2005, 11:18 PM   #8
    Jennita
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    Re: Pregnoid on Wellbutrin

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by pregnoid
    Wellbutrin was pretty good for my mood, but after 6 days i was so anxietied out i was throwing up and didn't sleep for 3 nightz, it was hell. Had 2 take .75 attivan and stop wellbutrin. I felt really tired and anxious for 2 days. Just wannna sleep. This is so hard. Any1 had problems with wellbutrin? any1 had relief from anxiety with wellbutrin? i want 2 try more paxil. Any1 have any advice? i cant sit still bit 2 depressed 2 want 2 do anything, nervous wreck!
    I don't have the absolute answers here, but maybe you weaned off the original drugs, klonopin and Paxil, way, way too fast! Sometimes, when being on such drugs for an extended period like a few years, the brain just can't function without the meds as it does become dependant on them. This dependancy can be reversed, but it requires very, very slow tapering and then some patience after that to allow the brain to recover.

    You mentioned you didn't sleep for a long time; insomnia is a hallmark withdrawal symtom, and fast weaning didn't help.

    So you were put on new drugs and the cycle continues. Boy, your timing on the pregnancy couldn't be worse. It would be very hard to taper right now, unless it was ultra slow but even then it's hard to say.

    Wellbutrin is a norepinphrine re-uptake inhibitor. Norepinphrine is basically adrenaline!! Paxil is an serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Adrenaline and serotonin are very stimulating to the nervous system; they can be the culprits of anxiety.

    Ativan and drugs like seroquel are tranquilizers, or downers. Both also produce dependancy and are sometimes given to counter the stimulating effects of the other drugs....medicating the medication in a way.

    Last edited by Jennita; 03-19-2005 at 11:24 PM.

     
    Old 03-24-2005, 12:22 PM   #9
    pregnoid
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    Re: Warning

    everything stinks, one day at a time, so bored and tired in more ways then 1. Every day i go 2 fish stores all over- itz all that keeps me 1/2 sane, itz soooo hard i worry that i cant just go 2 fish stores all day 4 the next 3 months and my boyfriend will hafta go back 2 work so i will be alone (i dont drive) i cant keep occupied. i have no friends right now either not that im kewl just hangin out. i hafta keep going and going doing something. i may volunteer across the street at the animal shelter, it'll take a couple hours outta the day, wash, walk & feed dogs, cant change litter boxes pregnant, but itz sumthin. im starting 60mg paxil, praying hard it duz sumthing. maybe they can take the baby a lil early n itll b ok. any1 has similliar impossible pregnancies or anything relative i love hearing others stories & things of hope that it goes away.

     
    Old 03-25-2005, 07:14 PM   #10
    shannon628
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    Re: Warning

    Please read my thread of prenatal depression. i'm 7 and 1/2 months pregnant and going through hell with depression. I think it coud be more than hormones.

     
    Old 03-25-2005, 07:49 PM   #11
    Jennita
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    Re: Warning

    I little bit of info that was in the news concerning Prozac and pregnancy, thought I'd give the heads up here if needed. The source was a major well known news medium but is not the entire article.

    Normal doses can cause babies to be born lighter and sleepier than normal, or make them jittery or cause respiratory problems, the panel appointed by the National Toxicology Program said.

    “The observed toxicity may be reversible, although long-term follow-up studies have not been conducted to look for residual effects,” it adds.

    “The evidence suggests that developmental toxicity can also occur in the form of shortened gestational duration and reduced birth weight at term.”

    But the report noted it could be more dangerous for an expectant or new mother to be seriously depressed.

    “Mood disorders are common in women of child-bearing years and it has been estimated that 15.6 percent of women meet criteria for major depression during the third trimester of pregnancy,” the report reads.

     
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