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  • I just... just...I don't know.

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    Old 07-30-2005, 12:23 PM   #16
    Snappknight
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    I feel for you, girl. I too, have been faced with severe depression. I want to kill myself.... The only thing that makes it bearable is the whiskey that I shoot (drink) every hour on the hour. I would give my SOUL to find relief, but it has not come. Oh, well................

    Snap

     
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    Old 07-31-2005, 08:05 AM   #17
    MermaidMer
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by EoR
    I feel so bad posting my own thread, as I've been of little use to anyone around here lately, and I don't feel like I am in any position to ask for help and support when I haven't even been able to find the strength in myself lately to help and support others. It's not for lack of wanting to, I just keep drawing blanks.... I can never find the right words anymore. And... I'm so sorry for that.... I do care. Coming to this board and helping others was something that made *me* feel better, and I can't even manage that right now, pathetically.
    EoR,
    I am in the same boat as you. I come to these boards everyday, but I hardly ever post anything, and the things that I do post are hardly supportive. I feel as though I come here and gripe about my life, and few people (mainly you, sam, and rod) actually reply. How can I be in a position to offer advice and support when I'm feeling like crap? How can I expect others to help me when I can't return the favor? It's a sick and twisted catch-22 of sorts.

    So here I am replying and still unable to think of what I can say that would make you feel better. You have been one of the only people on these boards who has been there for me and had something nice to say to me, and I can't even do the same for you. Unfortunately, since you don't know what the source of your depression is, it's hard to pinpoint what exactly is making you feel so bad. Also, I am going through a completely different life experience as you right now, so it's hard to relate to you when you talk about your boyfriend and children, because these are things I do not possess. I wish I could be sympathetic or empathetic to your needs, but I cannot talk from experience, so I don't know what to say. I just hope that these words that I'm typing right now have some sort of impact, and I hope I can put a smile on your face, because you have done that for me so many times.

    I guess what I am asking, EoR, is that you seek out more and better help. Talk to a doctor with whom you feel comfortable, whom you feel will cater to your needs. If medication is not the route you want to explore right now, then find a route worth exploring. You're taking the right steps in trying an herbal remedy, but have you talked to a doctor to find out the proper doses of each vitamin and mineral? That would be something worth looking into as well. I just want you to get better so you can go back to being the good ole EoR we all love and miss.
    All my love and support,
    Meredith

     
    Old 07-31-2005, 09:38 AM   #18
    kerry1
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    That's what these boards are for - so we can help YOU too. I hope you have a doctor that you can trust - it sounds like you need someone to "carry you" for a while, until you're on your feet. Life is overwhelming you right now, and you need to get well. Concentrate on that, and please don't feel guilty about being "selfish". It is not selfish to want to feel better when you're miserable. Been there - recently. Done that.

     
    Old 07-31-2005, 06:11 PM   #19
    Man Apart
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    I miss you EoR... Despite your absence, your in my heart and prayers and I just hope that right now your somewhere getting better.

    Take care.

     
    Old 07-31-2005, 06:52 PM   #20
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    If you are having a hard time finding a good professional...find a local group meeting, ask who has a doctor that they like... try to get an appt with that doctor. I have friends that have tried several meds to find the right one. I wasn't as lucky, but I don't feel that I had good care.... care is the key. Make some time, if you don't take care of this as soon as possible you are still not feeling right... therapy will help out until you find the right med, and will help if you don't find a med that works... genetics is not guaranteed, you are not absolutely destined to follow her life track... you can have your own

     
    Old 08-01-2005, 07:08 AM   #21
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Eor, It sounds like you do need to change meds since you've tried that one for a while without luck. I hope you will look for another doctor, or at least talk to the one you already have. You could write down all your symptoms and leave a message for him to call you at the end of seeing his other patients. I say this because I realize you hate to miss any more work and it can take time to get in to see a new doctor. You need help fast and don't need to wait. Tell your doctor that you need to try something else, that Lexapro isn't working. Quitting cold turkey will probably make you worse, and you don't need that. You deserve better and so do your precious little ones. Gotta go, good luck

     
    Old 08-03-2005, 05:12 PM   #22
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Thank you, all. I want to reply to everyone individually, but I need a little more time for that. I'm so greatful to you all. Thank you! Big hugs,

    EoR
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    Old 08-03-2005, 07:06 PM   #23
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    EoR!

    Take as much time as you need! I'm just really glad to see you post.

    Take care of yourself!

    James
    (it's cheered me up seeing you on here!!)

     
    Old 08-03-2005, 11:14 PM   #24
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    James, sir, you are just too super sweet. I don't even deserve to be treated so well. <blush.> Well, you jus' made my day, sugah. <kiss> I'm cheered up seeing you here, too. It's nice to know you're hanging in there and still coming to see us. I've missed you. Please don't go away!

    I really do want to take the time out to sincerely reply--it's just that all the advice, warmth and compassion is so overwhelming, that I feel completely lost when I hit the reply button and begin to type. I don't even know where to start. But I will do it! I will!

    And you, my dear, will never get stuck in a rut like the guy in that show you were watching. I will re-read and reply to that thread tomorrow. I started to reply yesterday and then one of the kids did something to distract me. The joys of having two youngins... indeed. Until then....

    Big squishy hugs and good night kisses,

    EoR
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    Old 08-04-2005, 08:46 AM   #25
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    It's good to see you reply Eor. I've been thinking of you a lot. How are you doing?

     
    Old 08-04-2005, 10:39 AM   #26
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Hi EoR
    I am so glad you stopped by. You are a much loved and much needed person.

    Love,
    Sam

     
    Old 08-04-2005, 09:33 PM   #27
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Hi EoR
    Congratulations! You are a Senior Veteran now! Wow! Hey guess what?
    That does not have to mean you are old, just experienced at loving everyone!

    Love,
    Sam

     
    Old 08-04-2005, 10:01 PM   #28
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    EoR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YOUR BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Talk to you again soon.

    Sincerely
    John

    Dear God,

    Thank you so much for prayers answered.
    Love John

     
    Old 08-04-2005, 10:10 PM   #29
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Aaaaw. I'm blushing all over. Really--all over. <blush> You're late birds! I'd be in beddy-bie if it weren't for inconsiderate co-wokers that conveniently forget their shifts. Oh well, it's overtime. How are you, John? I keep meaning to write in your threat, but somebody always comes along and snatches up everything I wanted to say! Go figure. :P Hugs and love and prayers and angels to you! (So tired...yawn)

    Love,
    EoR
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    Old 08-04-2005, 10:12 PM   #30
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    And I need to learn to proof read... Doh. That's *thread*, not threat. It'd be kinda weird to write in someones threat, huh?

    I've finally caught up to you, Sam! A SENIOR VETERAN! I think I just babble a lot.

    Much love to both of you.

    -EoR-
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