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  • I just... just...I don't know.

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    Old 08-04-2005, 10:20 PM   #31
    Johnster
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    I AM WORTH SOMETHING!!!!

    I AM WORTH SOMETHING!!!!

    EoR is talking to me on OVERTIME!!! I am special!!!!

    Time and a half or double dear??? LOL!!! HA HA!!!

    By Now
    John

     
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    Old 08-04-2005, 10:31 PM   #32
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JohnDiV
    I AM WORTH SOMETHING!!!!

    I AM WORTH SOMETHING!!!!

    EoR is talking to me on OVERTIME!!! I am special!!!!

    Time and a half or double dear??? LOL!!! HA HA!!!

    By Now
    John
    Just a bye now? No love and hugs? Cry. Sob. Just kiddin'. Don't I WISH it was double time. That'd be sweet. I'm afraid it's just time and a half, and even then, it's a pathetic income, but it's a nice stay at home job, and I guess I'm lucky to have it at all.

    Of course you're special. You don't need me to know that.

    LOVE and HUGS ,

    EoR
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    Old 08-04-2005, 10:34 PM   #33
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    If I was your boss it would be a big promotion and a corner office with a view. Budget cuts would have me getting you the coffee though. LOL!!!

     
    Old 08-04-2005, 10:35 PM   #34
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by EoR
    Aaaaw. I'm blushing all over. Really--all over. <blush> You're late birds! I'd be in beddy-bie if it weren't for inconsiderate co-wokers that conveniently forget their shifts. Oh well, it's overtime. How are you, John? I keep meaning to write in your threat, but somebody always comes along and snatches up everything I wanted to say! Go figure. :P Hugs and love and prayers and angels to you! (So tired...yawn)

    Love,
    EoR
    Hi EoR Sweetie
    Yes, I am a late night owl at times. I got in a tizzy earlier and forgot to take my sleeping med (Benadryl). It's a multiuse drug...it works for withdrawls from Effexor, helps with allergies and is a cheap sleeping aid...woo hoo! I am also very silly when I am tired.

    Yay! Overtime means overtime pay! Tell your boss to hire me to help you out. Send all inquiries to Samantha Needs A Job!

    Love you,
    Sam

     
    Old 08-04-2005, 11:06 PM   #35
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Oh my JIMINI CRICKETS! PLEASE tell me the 11:00 shift is going to log on. PLEASE! If not, I'm going to bed, anyway. This is not my problem! People need to learn to do their job, for petes sake! I will tell my boss to hire you to help me, Sam! At least I would know I could rely on you. Sheeeeeeeesh.

    John, I'll gladly let you be my boss. When do you start?

    Love,

    EoR
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    Old 08-05-2005, 05:59 AM   #36
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Hello EoR,
    Firstly, although you may believe that your replies are not helpful, just the fact that you take the time to reply despite your own problems helps people to know that they are not alone and that you wish to help in any small way you can. That's worth a lot. A lot of people in this world are so absorbed in their own problems they barely notice other people exist. We are all guilty of that at times but you EoR continue to devote your time to trying to help others. And from the looks of all the people who have replied to your post here it seems that has not gone unnoticed. I hope for a small moment you can take a little pride in yourself for that.

    Secondly, I really hope that you can find a decent Doctor who can help you. It never ceases to amaze me how little Doctors regard their patients at times. How many people in the world are suffering from depression now? I think I read somewhere (and this is probably factually incorrect as it comes from the recesses of my memory) that suicide is the 2nd or 3rd highest cause of death in the world - a fair proportion of those people were suffering from depression. And yet many many Doctors still seem to be clueless about how to treat Depression.
    Please don't stop until you find someone sympathetic to your illness.

    Thirdly, you don't need a direct cause to have depression - I was diagnosed Depressive and it shocked me because I couldn't pinpoint anything in my life that was making me feel the way I was - like you I didn't feel I had a reason so I couldn't understand what was happening. I didn't feel I 'deserved' to be depressive as my problems were nowhere near in the same league as most peoples.

    I hope things get better for you, try to ride out the mood swings and the meds, try to find something beautiful to treasure just for you (a place, a piece of music, a picture, a person) and most of all keep writing, for yourself mainly but also for others.

    All the best now.

    ManApart, your reply was so moving to me, I read it many times over trying to hold back the tears. The words you wrote stand up as an example of how wonderful people can be.

    God Bless.

     
    Old 08-05-2005, 01:12 PM   #37
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Dear, dear EoR
    Thank you for all you've said to me last night, for being there so readily...
    Many warm thoughts to my fellow mommy who knows why mommies must stay alive no matter how sad they get...
    Angel
    P.S. Slumber party tonight? Or some other night?

     
    Old 08-06-2005, 01:57 PM   #38
    Man Apart
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    EoR, It seems like you in good spirits darling and feeling a bit better. Tell us what has happen since the time you made this thread. Have anything changed? Are you still taking Lexacrap? Did you see the Dr. again? How are you feeling currently? Im just glad your back you know. We all are. Stay sweet and take care.

     
    Old 08-07-2005, 11:27 AM   #39
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    EoR, I hope things have gotten a bit better for you in the last week or so. I understand how you feel about having no reason to be depressed. Most times when I'm really depressed I've found that it's such a tiny little thing that has set me off.

    I'm like a little child having a tantrum because I can't have my own way. How pathetic does that make me feel? VERY. 33 years old and getting upset and crying and depressed because I can't have something I want. It's always stuff I want REALLY BADLY, stuff I've wanted for many years...but it's still pathetic.

    EoR, you have been so good for so many people on this board. It would be terrible of us not to offer you our support when you need it. Never feel bad for asking for it, either. It's what we're here for. I don't know what I would do without people like you on this board. You've been such a big source of support for me that I've added you to my buddy list.

    I hate to see you hurting and I really hope your pain is easing, if not gone. I'm sending you lots of hugs! Take care.

     
    Old 08-09-2005, 02:35 PM   #40
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Ha, I have invited myself over to your place, EoR! *plops on the couch*
    Here is .... [insert your favorite dish]... I've cooked just for you! (oh, Dreamland)

     
    Old 08-10-2005, 01:54 AM   #41
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Hey! Did you really say you don't have anything to be depressed about???!!
    What a bunch of crap. You have had a tough life. So much to take! I'm not saying cry for the next 30 years, but allow yourself your feelings.....and yeah, get some help to deal with your depression.

    I have been so angry with my husband over his depression and behavior, but I know he is suffering, he isn't just sitting there feeling sorry for himself just for fun.

    You do help us. I really hope we help you-even if it's for a few minutes.

    Wish I could be a huge help, but now I too have to cry in my soup!

    Hang in there.

     
    Old 08-10-2005, 07:58 AM   #42
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    (((((((((((((EoR)))))))))))
    Sweetie, when you get the new hair products, let me know what you've come up with, as I'm having the same problem! Perhaps we should raid John's veggie garden? (oops, that's next year, right, John?)
    Hugs and love,
    Angel

     
    Old 08-10-2005, 10:56 AM   #43
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    ((((((((EoR)))))))))

    Hi EoR sweetie
    How are you today? I hope all is well with you today.

    Did you say your daughter starts school tomorrow? What IS up with starting on a Thursday? They do that here too. Silly, I think...my 2 cents anyway. It can be worse on Mom's when the children start to school. It caused me a lot of anxiety.

    I just wanted to stop by and let you know, I am thinking of you and thanks for everything.

    Much love, hugs and prayers,
    Sam

    P.S. I agree with MIpigpen!

    Last edited by Samantha317; 08-10-2005 at 10:58 AM. Reason: added ps

     
    Old 08-10-2005, 12:59 PM   #44
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Okay. I'm going to do this. I'm going to try to reply to each post, as you've all been helpful and you each deserve to be acknowledged.

    Bob: Hi. Welcome to the boards. I hope you will come back and post some more. Thank you for the input and for calling me "kiddo." I get that from my sisters and I think it's cute. Makes me feel young. I'll see what I can do. Thanks!

    RainS: You're so full of wisdom. Malicious genetics, indeed. You should see the entire side of my mother's family. Some scary stuff. Thank you for caring. I always look forward to your posts. The eye of the depression storm... I like it. Thanks!

    LushStars: I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, too. It's the pits. I hope you are able to get some help and get things back on the right track. So sorry to hear about your boyfriend. I wish people could be more sympathetic. Hugs.

    Sammy: Hi, luvee. As always, thank you for caring so much. What would I do without you? The doctor thing happened some time ago. I think I may have mentioned it in the distant past. I promise I'll make an effort to find a new doctor and get the help I need. Thank you so much for everything. You're an angel.

    James: Hello, my friend. Thank you for always sticking beside me, no matter what. I know I can count on you. I hope things are improving in your life and that the stress has been at bay. How are you feeling? Are you happy today? I hope you're hanging in there okay and that life is treating you like the wonderful person you are.

    Flinch: Thank you for being so supportive and helpful to everyone, and thank you for coming to visit me. I will looj for that new doctor--I promise I at least will try to get on the ball. How are you?

    wannahelp: Sounds like you've been through a lot, but I'm happy you were able to overcome it. I wonder if my mind could be that powerful. I feel like I've set my mind to overcoming depression, but it seems that I can't simply not be depressed because I don't want to be. I try to will my tears away. I really do. I hate crying. I haven't tried therapy. It might help. Thanks for the encouragement.

    Frantic: Hi. Thanks for visiting. I guess I have a cruddy past that could be contributing to my depression, but it's weird for me to think of it that way, because I don't get depressed because I think of my past. I just.... get depressed. Any tips? What methods were you taught? I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. <smile>

    (More....)
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    Old 08-10-2005, 01:57 PM   #45
    EoR
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    Re: I just... just...I don't know.

    Rod: I'm blown away by your post every time I read it. You are such a wonderfully loving and compassionate person. You are incredibly sweet to have taken time out of your life to write me such a long and heartfelt post. That alone makes me feel like somebody special. Don't cry, sweet Rod. The last thing I need to do is put more tears in your life. The only tears you need to be crying are the tears of joy you're going to cry when you are finally holding Rose in your loving embrace, as I know you will. As always, you are 100% correct, and always, if we could all just take our own advice (like you taking yours) then we'd be much happier and healthier people. I'm sorry I can't match you on post length, but I'm incredibly fatigued today. You know you have a special place in my heart. I need you, too, Rod. Please never, ever go away. We love you.

    Angel: Hi, sweetheart. Your two cents are never insignificant, and they are always welcome--more than welcome. I always look forward to your posts. I respect and admire you more than you could possibly know. What you've said makes perfect sense and is very insightful. I used to use the affirmation technique but stopped, for some reason. I will try starting that up again. I like the idea of looking for the peace that's around me. Before I started this thread, I had just had a weekend up in Purgatory, Colorado. I have never felt so serene and at home in my entire life. The whole atmosphere was that of peace. I think a move to the mountains would do me a lot of good. I am most definitely NOT a city girl. I'm working on turning my bedroom into a woodland wonderland, so I'll at least have the facade. How old are your children, Angel? Mine are 2 and 6. I'd love to hear more about your mommyhood. Much love to you.

    Sam (again) Thank you for being my cheerleader and sticking with me through it all. You're awesome!

    JohnDiv: Hello, loved one. Thank you for all your prayers and your kindness. You really are one of a kind. I have taken all your advice and suggestions to heart and I will do my best. I've always wondered why doc's just take "I'm depressed" at face value and don't even bother running blood tests or anything else. I couldn't believe how incredibly easy it was for me to get on and AD. Pathetic. I know what you mean about my mother. I think she would've been better off without the doctors and the meds back then. I think it was because of her medications that she ended her life. It makes me terribly angry... and sad. You mentioned thyroid disorders could cause hairloss, didn't you? I should get that checked out. I'm sorry your mother died, too. If you ever want to talk about it, I understand. I'm so glad that you give up. You are an inspiration to all of us, not just your nieces or nephews. You're a *real* hero. Lots of love, sweetie.


    Teresa: Thank you for always saying something nice to me or about me. I've always noticed that. I appreciate it very much. You are such a kind and loving person. How are things for you? I hope that they're better than they were a week or so ago. I think about you and wish the best for you. Much love.

    Snap: It's nice to meet you. Please don't kill yourself. There are times it seems like things can't get any worse, but if you kill yourself, you don't know if they might also get better. I hope you can find a way other than Whiskey to help you through your tough times--especially since alcohol is a depressant. Take care of yourself.

    Mermaid: Hey, sweetheart. Always happy to "see" you! I'm sorry you have to be in the same boat--it's a sad boat, but at least we have some company, eh? I don't feel like you just come here and complain. You always have a kind word to offer and I take a lot from what you say. Besides, I always like to hear about what's going on with you. I'm interested in your life and what you're up to. I understand not being able to relate, and thus, not knowing what to say. Never feel pressured! Your words always have an impact--always. I'm just happy that you are still hanging in there and coming to post at all. I will definitely try to find somebody that can help me with the herbs and vitamins. It would be a smart thing to do. I hope you're taking care of yourself and that life is giving you a break. You really deserve it. Please let us know how you are. Much love.

    Kerry1: You're right. I'm always advocating the same thing to everyone else, but it's so hard to take one's own advice. Thank you for the reminder. Sorry you've been where I am recently. I hope you feel better now. Hugs.

    Rod (again ) I miss you, too. I wish you were able to post more often, because your words are like honey dripping from a golden spoon, but I know you're busy with your job. I'll be checking on you soon. Hugs.


    sirus: Allo. Hey, you have a really good idea. I haven't thought about finding meetings and soliciting advice. I will look into that. Thank you for the suggestion. I will see about therapy, too. Take care of yourself, hun. Hugs.

    (More coming soon... Flargin work!)
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