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Finding my smile...

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Old 09-23-2005, 07:07 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 206
SomeRandomDude HB User
Finding my smile...

Basically any ideas as to how I could do it?!?

I've been told I'm a decent enough looking guy, but due to my constant depression, shyness and lack of self esteem.. I literally NEVER smile.

The rare times I do smile, it comes across looking forced (as it usually is) and rather goofy.

I'm just generally unhappy about my life as a whole.

Lack a decent job

Lack a girl to call my own

Lack any social life.

Sexual life is nonexistent. (still a virgin at nearly 26... and no not by choice, something I nearly constantly beat myself up over)

Basically I've got little to nothing going for me right now.

I never realized just how little I smiled, until I was looking at pics of myself, some current and some a little older. Not once did I have a smile on my face... which might have something to do with the girl part of the equation and my lack of success there.

I truly do want to be happy, just don't feel like I've got alot of options right now. I somehow forgot to sign up for insurance this quarter at work, so can't really afford to get into a long term therapy program, or to have to pay for prescription pills out of pocket.

I'm at a loss more or less.

Only option might be continuing to gut it out, until next quarter comes around and I can sign back for insurance.

Miserable or not, I've made it this far toughing it out...

Last edited by SomeRandomDude; 09-23-2005 at 07:09 PM.

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Old 09-23-2005, 08:15 PM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 53
GlassPawn HB User
Re: Finding my smile...

I know what you mean about rarely smiling...I find that my smiles looked forced as well. perhaps there's a community health clinic near you that allows you to see a counselor on a sliding fee scale (pay as much as you can, when you can)...that at least can take care of the therapy part until you can get insurance. I think you can call one of those national hotlines for depression to find one in your area. Good luck with everything. You'll get that smile back one of these days.


Old 09-23-2005, 08:58 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 206
SomeRandomDude HB User
Re: Finding my smile...

Thank you! I think I'll give your idea a try.

I think the most frustrating part, is that I know the lack of smiling is one of, if not the biggest factors in my lack of success with the opposite sex.

I crave that intimacy and even more so just someone to spend time with and someone who cares for me, just as much as I do them.

I've posted my pic on various advice boards and it's always the same thing from females. "you're not unattractive, but if I saw you with that look on your face... I wouldn't go and talk to you. You should try smiling more"

I don't know another look though, smiling just doesn't seem right and as mentioned before, I end up looking odd when I do smile.

That being said it's become obvious I'm never going to find a girl, until I smile... and I just don't know how to do that.

Might sound weird to some, but I truly don't know how to smile.. or at least a genuine smile.

I don't see myself ever being happy single either...

Last edited by SomeRandomDude; 09-23-2005 at 09:54 PM.

Old 09-24-2005, 06:48 AM   #4
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 169
s1980 HB User
Re: Finding my smile...

Hi there,
I think dealing with depression is the first step that needs to be taken here. If you don't feel at all happy, if you are struggling with depression, then I don't see how forcing yourself to be happy when you are not is going to help with anything.
You can pretend to be happy for only so long, after time the cracks begin to show and then your new female companion finds that the person she was interested in (the forced happy one) is actually not that person at all.

I think you really need to give yourself a break over your love life, there are a lot of people out there in the world at all different stages when it comes to love - many people finding it a long, hard road to finding that certain someone, just like you. Don't go rushing into pretending you are a really upbeat guy and finding a girl to sleep with just because you feel bad about the fact that you have no love life - it wont make you feel better or bring you the relationship that you crave, it will only end up in disappointment - is that really the way you want to start out?

Please seek help for depression, I know that Doctors, meds, therapy etc... can sometimes not be as successful as hoped for but any help is better than none and things are not really going to improve by sitting at home and wishing things would change. Try to find things in your life that you enjoy and that make you smile naturally, hobbies, interests, who knows who you might meet thru things like that?

In time your life will begin to sort itself out, one problem at a time, but it involves a lot of patience on your part.
all the best

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