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  • Does Everyone Experience Being Mean

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    Old 10-08-2002, 11:07 AM   #1
    crybaby1
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    Red face Does Everyone Experience Being Mean

    I was just curious about one thing. Does everyone that is depressed experience being mean, irrability. I know I do. There are times when I feel like if I don't shut up or walk away I could really beat the heck out of someone or something. I mean a really deep down and dirty feeling of wanting to mess something or someone up. I think that is the one thing that bothers me the most. I mean how can I get so much hatred so much anger. And also it seem like the older I get the worse I get. Please give me some feed back on this because I can't understand how in the heck can a person get so upset that they want to hurt someone or something or theirself. I mean I can be so darned hateful. I know one time I was in the car with my husband and I was trying to explain to him about myself and he was just not getting it and I keep thinking I am going to knock the heck out of him, he is ******* me off here. I wanted to take my keys and put them in my hand and knock the heck out of him. I mean really hurt him. I didn't do it but the though itself was really deep. Get back at me please I need to know if this really is normal for depressed people or is it just me?

     
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    Old 10-08-2002, 11:43 AM   #2
    rebecarooni
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    Right at the moment I would happily stomp on a puppy.
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    If you see me let me know because I have been looking for myself all day.

     
    Old 10-08-2002, 12:20 PM   #3
    stolie
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    Hi Crybaby,

    I know exactly the feelings you describe, and while I don't know how common it is, I would imagine more depressed people have these kinds of thoughts than would care to admit it. I too carry around intense amounts of anger at certain times, and while I never act out physically, I withdraw into a shell and brood, feeling very mean-spirited.
    I think anger management is one thing psychotherapists are usually trained to deal with, so perhaps they could help you deal with these feelings.
    good luck.
    Dave

     
    Old 10-08-2002, 12:33 PM   #4
    nlathers
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    Red face

    I have had anti-social feelings which I constantly worry about, because I am 45 y.o. (It may be 'normal' for some rowdy teenage men to feel this way
    but not a middle-ager). I take major tranquilizers, as well as antidepressants, and the last time I tried to come off one of the tranquilizers I was physically making a plan about how I was going to fight a neighbor who had ****** me off, because he had cut me off on a sidewalk.
    Even when 'stabilized' on medicine other things have happened:
    I almost got in fight with another neighbor because his dog was squealing. I have had the police called on me for yelling in a hair stylist shop, at a pregnant woman. Another time I got in a fight in the middle of a traffic circle here in Washington, and the police were called on that one too. I have been involved in numerous incidents of road rage, two in which I actually hit the other person's car (on purpose), another in which I spat at the other person through my open window.
    It is only a matter of time until I get arrested, or get my license revoked at this rate.
    It seems like every other day, I shout at someone on the phone or in person, or at least complain about something to somebody. I almost got fired from my job last month for yelling at a client. Maybe I should stop taking Celexa or start working out again. Then again maybe I just have a hot temper.
    In your case I would suggest that you talk to your doctor about the possible addition of mood stabilizer(s) such as lithium or lamictal, or tranquilizers. It depends on whether you are feeling antisocial or just 'mean', although there may be a fine line. Are you in talk therapy? Maybe you can try that. Let me know what happens.
    --Axo

     
    Old 10-08-2002, 02:13 PM   #5
    spungy
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    Yes,I get this way alot!!
    I don't realy know if I'm more mad at myself or the person I'm being mean to.I think I have been an anry person ever since I was a little girl.I can't offer eany advice,because it is a problem for me too.
    Just thought I'd share that with you.
    http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gifspungy

     
    Old 10-08-2002, 03:33 PM   #6
    crybaby1
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    I thank you all for your responses to me. I don't care if you had any advice for me or not. It is okay really. I just really need to know if I was alone in this one. I can really relate to all of you. Yes, and thanks for the advice that I did get. I will for sure tell my doctor about my anger problem. It is so funny because I remember there was a time that I wasn't like this at all. I was probably one of the sweetest persons you could have ever meet. I am very anti-social and everything else, I am sure you all know what I mean. Thanks again everyone.

    Lots of Hugs,

    Crybaby1

    p.s. I will stay in touch with you all on my progress I promise. I wish you all the best with yours as well.

     
    Old 10-09-2002, 07:57 AM   #7
    Lady^
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    [This message has been edited by Lady^ (edited 10-09-2002).]

     
    Old 10-09-2002, 08:28 PM   #8
    Rider
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    I've experienced these same hateful, mean feelings.
    Trying to get off Effexor right now, and find that helps somewhat. Also, it's been explained to me that the reason for this feeling is because we hate ourselves, and that as soon as we can learn to love and accept ourselves, we will have more loving feelings towards others, and not so much animosity.
    HA!!! Hope some of this helps....

     
    Old 10-09-2002, 09:30 PM   #9
    newdawn
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    well,
    I used to feel that way all the time for some of the things I did in my life I hated myself and I did have a situation where I pushed an employee of mine at an old job I felt so bad but she kept asking me if I was ok and I said no please just leave me alone and lets do our jobs and she kept bugging me and then I just lost it I feel angry and worthless about not having done a lot in my life but I am trying to feel better about myself everyday you know the usual I don't think I'm pretty or smart but I know that I have to try and think positve which is not easy for ms negative over here lol.. and I have to say again about that effexor that stuff was awful good luck to those of you who are taking it.
    Renee'

     
    Old 10-09-2002, 09:46 PM   #10
    crybaby1
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    Well I would have to say thank you rider and newdawn. I have heard that before how can you love someone if you can't even love yourself. I fight with that everyday of my life. I don't think I am all that and a bag of chips. I also noticed that I am very possesive over everyone I love. I don't care what you do to me but when it comes to someone I love hey look out. It is really funny because people tell me such good things about myself and I don't even believe any of it. I want so much to love myself but not matter what I do it never happens. Thanks for the replies. I wish you all the best that life has to offer.

     
    Old 10-09-2002, 10:43 PM   #11
    icarus0812
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    Hi ~ being depressed and feeling unlovable because of it often seems to make me mean towards others. i find myself being so not nice to people sometimes! it makes me feel really bad because it's so often out of nowhere and has absolutely nothing to do with the person i'm being nasty to. the other day i was just feeling utterly incompetent at work and i was really stressed, and i lashed out at one of my coworkers for something stupid. i definitely notice that i'm more mean-spirited when i'm feeling down on myself. i was also more angry and irritable when i took effexor, so it's a bit better since i'm not taking it anymore. some us are just better at being able to love ourselves and recognize our inherent worth and dignity. i hope to achieve that someday. it's just a day by day struggle...hope everyone is doing well today
    icarus0812

     
    Old 10-10-2002, 11:38 AM   #12
    crybaby1
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    I am not saying that it is a good thing. Trust me I am not saying that at all. My goodness I feel so good just knowing that it wasn't just me. Thank you all so very much. I don't have patients for my children or anyone else. I would get ****** off if I had to repeat myself more than once. Also I remember one time my son-in-law was staying at my house and I told everyone in the house numerous time to not let the cat out and they did. I went off the hook. Then I he came in my room the asked me did they have to leave talking about him and my oldest daughter. I snapped and said did I tell you to get the hell out. Did I tell you to get all of you crap and get the hell out. He in turn started talking mess to me and I then told him to get the hell out of my house. And just to be a bigger jerk he let the cat out again. I didn't want the cat out because my neighbor behind me likes to trap them. He trapped mines and beat the heck out of him. I was sick over it for days. I love my little angel.

     
    Old 10-10-2002, 12:16 PM   #13
    west virginia girl
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    just look at all the people who care for you.

     
    Old 10-11-2002, 11:12 AM   #14
    MudPuppy
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    CB1,

    I understand the irritability. My opinion is that it is just one symptom of our disease. I too get irritable at times but I tend to bottle it up inside. That is also not a good thing to do.
    I used to just let it out when I was younger. I'd go off as soon as I got irritated. But what I found was that I would end up doing or saying things I would later regret.
    Now adays, I work on stepping back from the situation once I start getting upset or irritated. I still sometimes fly off the handle, but not nearly as much as I used to. And I've found that if I do step back from the situation, it gives me time to think things through so that I can state my case much better than if I had just reacted.
    I've known other people who have flown off the handle when they got upset. Nothing wrong with it as long as they don't get personal and hurtful. It's just a part of their personality. And there will always be people who are like that.
    It's like everyone here. No one person has the same personality. Some are very quiet, while others have no qualms saying what is on their mind. That is the beauty of the human race. We are all different. If not in culture, race, religion, etc., we are different in personality. Finding a way to get along with the myriad personalities makes us stronger.
    I have no idea what sparked all this brewhaha as I've been gone since the end of last week. And no offense, but since it is done and past, I really don't want to rehash any bad feelings. But I do have confidence in each and every person involved to step back and take a look at the big picture here. For whether we want to admit it or not, we need each other. We understand one another to a degree, even if we do not agree with another's point of view.
    I've not read but a few of your posts and from what I see in you, you seem to get down on yourself (don't we all). But I also see a loving and caring person who has the desire to improve. Work with the positive (self improvement) and work on getting the negative out of your life whenever you can. Sometimes it's not that we've changed as much as the world around us has. We meet new people all the time who can change the way we think about others. Or they may be a negative person to begin with.
    It is so much easier to focus on negative values than positive ones, especially when it comes to our own health and behavior. We all have the capability to change to look for the positive wherever we can. But to do it alone can also set us back even further. That is why (I read your later post) I hope you don't leave.
    Believe it or not, we need you, maybe as much as you need us. You can give us different perspectives on issues in our lives. You can help us to improve, even if it's simply to post a smiley face in a thread.
    So to repeat what others have said, please don't leave. You don't have to respond to any posts if you don't want to. Just lurk around (read other posts). I used to want to try to respond to everyone I could. But I also found out that it really wasn't doing me any good. So now I read some posts (the subject matter is what draws me into the post) and respond only when I really feel the need to. And this is one of those times.
    If you don't feel like you can stay, you may want to think about leaving just for a week or two. Then come back when you feel ready. But do it on your timetable, not anyone elses.
    Good luck to you with your depression. And remember, even if you don't feel comfortable talking with someone here, then find someone else here to talk to. I get the impression that you feel comfortable with West Virginia Girl. Don't let go of that. I'd hate to see you stop corresponding with someone you like here, simply because someone else upset you.
    I've said more than enough here.

    ((((((((((((( guardian ))))))))))))) to be with you when you need one. And while I'm at it, have some energy hugs (((((((((( ))))))))))

    ((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))

    Muddy

     
    Old 10-11-2002, 12:50 PM   #15
    AnnetteM
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    I do get really bad irratibility. It is very common to get very irritable when very depressed. If it is all the time, then get in to see your doc and have your meds reviewed. Really high dosages of meds tend to make people very irritable. If you have bipolar, extreme irritablity is very very common.

     
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